Mark > Mark's Quotes

“And FYI, you mean astronomer not astrologer.” “Do I?” “Ye do. Astrologer is all that star sign nonsense.” “Are you sure?” “I am,” said Tara. “The fight it caused is the reason we stopped having a table quiz.” “I thought that was because of who invented the light bulb?” “No, that’s the reason we no longer have a quiz machine. The clientele of this pub take trivia knowledge far too bleedin’ seriously.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Bloody Christmas

“Wang Min nodded and pointed at himself. “Statistician.” “Great,” said Bunny. “If his English was better, he could help us figure out the odds on this turning out well.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Bloody Christmas

“It’s the winter. The Homo sapiens is supposed to put on a layer of fat to help maintain itself and keep warm through the colder months.” “Is that right? Are you expecting another ice age?”
― Caimh McDonnell, Bloody Christmas

“I’m not saying I wouldn’t like to see proof of your possession of the full picnic’s worth of sandwiches, but I’m in a weakened enough state to take your word for it.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Bloody Christmas

“It’s like how you could go through your whole life and never meet an unsuccessful parachutist. That didn’t mean they didn’t exist. They did, but only for as long as it took gravity to prove an emphatic point from ten thousand feet.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Bloody Christmas

“Bonner smiled. “Are you going to tell me next how when you were a kid you only got an orange for Christmas, Sarge?” O’Keefe took a sip on his coffee to hide a smile. “Cheeky bitch, I’m not that old.” “Or that fond of fruit.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Bloody Christmas

“If you don’t mind me saying, you are a very peculiar man.” “Sane though. I’ve got a piece of paper.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Bloody Christmas

“In ten years’ time you’ll look back at twenty-six and wish you’d realised you had your whole life ahead of you. And at forty-six you’ll look back at thirty-six and think the exact same thing. The world is full of people killing time because they think they’ve no time left.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Bloody Christmas

“Did stress bring on early labour? Tara wasn’t sure. She knew that sex and curry apparently did. In the case of her cousin Cheryl, they’d also played a fairly big role in conception.”
― Caimh McDonnell, Bloody Christmas

“Seriously though, how can I ever thank you?” “For feck’s sake woman, you own a pub!”
― Caimh McDonnell, Bloody Christmas

“You could try being nicer.” “I could. I sometimes do, but it doesn’t work.” I laughed. “Being half thoasa and with a mother like mine, it’s a miracle I’m as nice as I am.” I gave her a toothsome grin, which despite her best efforts, she responded to in kind.”
― K.T. Davies, From Hell's Heart

“Work? Scribbling and mucking around on a stage is hardly in the same league as collecting night soil or fishing bodies out of the river.” “Great art is the mark of civilization.” “I thought that was a working sewerage system and clean drinking water but have it your way.”
― K.T. Davies, From Hell's Heart

“How old are you, Samura?” She pursed her thin lips and glared at me. “It’s Sakura. I’m nine.” “Well, if you want to see ten, I suggest you stop fucking around and stay in here.” Tears began to roll. “I hate you.” “I’m not over-fond of me either, but what can you do, eh?”
― K.T. Davies, From Hell's Heart

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“What constitutes a problem is not the thing, or the environment where we find the thing, but the conjunction of the two; something unexpected in a usual place (our favorite aunt in our favorite poker parlor) or something usual in an unexpected place (our favorite poker in our favorite aunt). I knew that my sampler was absolutely right in Elsie Norris's front room, but absolutely wrong in Mrs. Virtue's sewing class. Mrs. Virtue should either have had the imagination to commend me for my effort in context, or the farsightedness to realize there is a debate going on as to whether something has an absolute as well as a relative value; given that, she should have given me the benefit of the doubt.
As it was, she got upset and blamed me for her headache.”
― Jeanette Winterson, Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit

“The Schleswig-Holstein question is so complicated, only three men in Europe have ever understood it. One was Prince Albert, who is dead. The second was a German professor who became mad. I am the third and I have forgotten all about it.”
― Lord Palmerston