The Angry Lawn Gnome > The Angry Lawn Gnome's Quotes

“You look like you bin whupped with a ugly stick.”
― Bo Diddley

“We stand for organized terror - this should be frankly admitted. Terror is an absolute necessity during times of revolution. Our aim is to fight against the enemies of the Soviet Government and of the new order of life. We judge quickly. In most cases only a day passes between the apprehension of the criminal and his sentence. When confronted with evidence criminals in almost every case confess; and what argument can have greater weight than a criminal's own confession?”
― Felix Dzerzhinsky

“She'd [Allegra] look like Foxy Brown's little sister, except her head is SHAVED SMOOTH.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“He pulls the tape off Allegra's mouth. Grabs her BY THE HAIR and gives her a peck on the lips.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“But this was no ordinary chicken. This chicken was evil manifest.”
― Terry Goodkind, Soul of the Fire

“Briefly stated, the Gell-Mann Amnesia effect is as follows. You open the newspaper to an article on some subject you know well. In Murray's case, physics. In mine, show business. You read the article and see the journalist has absolutely no understanding of either the facts or the issues. Often, the article is so wrong it actually presents the story backward—reversing cause and effect. I call these the "wet streets cause rain" stories. Paper's full of them.
In any case, you read with exasperation or amusement the multiple errors in a story, and then turn the page to national or international affairs, and read as if the rest of the newspaper was somehow more accurate about Palestine than the baloney you just read. You turn the page, and forget what you know.”
― Michael Crichton

“Listening to her spooling out impractical and transcendental picture-concepts like a hyperventilating tickertape he felt the weight lift from him, floating in a sweet and putrid lager fart to dissipate beneath the starry, vast obsidian pudding bowl of closing time, inverted and set down upon the Burroughs as though keeping flies away.”
― Alan Moore, Jerusalem

“When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.”
― H.L. Mencken

“Nobody but Parker can irritate people so quick.” Jacko”
― Richard Stark, The Outfit