Ash > Ash's Quotes

“Have you been out in society recently? 'Cause it's SHIT.”
― Russell Brand

“I like threesomes with two women, not because I'm a cynical sexual predator. Oh no! But because I'm a romantic. I'm looking for "The One." And I'll find her more quickly if I audition two at a time.”
― Russell Brand

“My life is just a series of embarrassing incidents strung together by telling people about those embarrassing incidents.”
― Russell Brand, My Booky Wook

“I've always been a 'your parents have got to come up to the school' type of person. Even now, when I do something wrong - if I say something inappropriate on a live tv show, for example - I half expect to have to deliver a note to Barbara Brand: 'Please come up to Channel 4 head office, Russell's done something despicable.”
― Russell Brand, My Booky Wook

“Of all the consumer products, chewing gum is perhaps the most ridiculous: it literally has no nourishment – you just chew it to give yourself something to do with your stupid idiot Western mouth.

Half the world is starving, and the other’s going, ‘I don’t actually need any nutrition, but it would be good to masticate, just to keep my mind off things.”
― Russell Brand, My Booky Wook

“Surfing should be called "foam-choking" or "sea stabbing.”
― Russell Brand, Booky Wook 2: This Time it's Personal

“Tumbling into a dark, Lewis Carroll labyrinth of filth, pursuing a white rabbit of smut!”
― Russell Brand, Scandalous

“Life is not a theme park, and if it is, the theme is death.”
― Russell Brand