James > James's Quotes

“Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.”
― Lemony Snicket

“I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

“If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

“If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“The sad truth is the truth is sad.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital

“Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.”
― Lemony Snicket

“The moral of Snow White is never eat apples.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Carnivorous Carnival

“Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who is really wrong is proving you wrong and proving himself, wrongly, right.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Oftentimes. when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy

“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have trouble figuring out the difference between words and shapes.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Carnivorous Carnival

“Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure.”
― Lemony Snicket

“The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginning of the beginning of THE END to the end of the end of THE END, you will arrive at the end.”
― Lemony Snicket, The End

“Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of hot chocolate had vinegar added to it and were placed in a refrigerator for several hours.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Is it useful to feel fear, because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless, because nasty events will occur whether you are frightened or not?”
― Lemony Snicket

“Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life. ”
― Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

“This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?”
― Lemony Snicket

“There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital

“Can't we sleep ten minutes more? I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my mouth, and giving everybody germs.”
― Lemony Snicket

“I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters