Allons-y > Allons-y's Quotes

“She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing…
"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."
Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.”
― Ilona Andrews, Curran

“Who's driving this motorcycle and who's in the bloody sidecar? I don't ride in the sidecar. I don't even own a pussy bike with a sidecar.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Shadowfever

“No hospitals, she says.
I know.
Where are we going?
For ice cream. What's your favorite flavor?
Fuck you.
That's my favorite, too.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“I’m calling you Honey Tits from now on.”
“Please don’t.”
“Why? Your boobs delivered the nectar of the gods.”
“Now you’re making it worse.”
“Your bra is the stuff of legends.”
“Don’t make me regret my choice.”
― Stacey Marie Brown, Across The Divide

“What kind of a woman greets the Beast Lord with 'here, kitty, kitty'?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“I didn’t say I just wanted sex.”
“Let me quote: ‘Do you want seduction, dinners, and gifts? Seduction is a game, and if you pay enough in flattery, money, or attention, you get what you want. I thought you were above the game.’ Did you not say that to me a week before you strolled into my garage to invite me on ‘a date’?”
“Yes. I wanted to skip the bullshit.”
“So what happened? You changed your mind and now you want the bullshit?”
Rogan’s phone chimed. “Yes, I want your bullshit.”
“Well, you don’t get to have any of my bullshit. I’m keeping it.” Okay, and that didn’t sound childish. Not at all.”
― Ilona Andrews, White Hot

“I can't believe I have to say this. You there, dashing male secretary! Drop the frying pan.”
― Ilona Andrews, Wildfire

“Try not to sing too many sad songs for yourself. The universe already hates you. Self-pity isn't going to help.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“When you jump off a cliff, is it better to land on jagged rocks or burning lava? I know this one. The answer is obvious: It doesn't matter where you land. You just jumped off a cliff.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“What happened to the alpha-wolf?"
"LEGOs."
"Legos?" It sounded Greek but I couldn't recall anything mythological with that name. Wasn't it an island?
"He was carrying a load of laundry into the basement and tripped on the old set of LEGOs his kids left on the stairs. Broke two ribs and an ankle.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“Oh, it's you," Curran's voice said quietly. "I thought it was an elephant.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites

“Can you turn so you’re not pressed against me?”

“I could,” he said, his voice amused. “But then you would have to lie on top of me.”

My brain said, “NO.” My body went, “Wheee!”
― Ilona Andrews, Burn for Me

“You seem to be under the impression that I work for you and you can give me orders. Let me fix that." I hung up.”
― Ilona Andrews, Burn for Me

“Oh. "So the best way to fight you is to strip naked and attack?"
His eyes flashed with a wicked light. "Yes. You should try it and see what happens.”
― Ilona Andrews, Burn for Me

“All men are liars. All women are liars, too.”
― Ilona Andrews, Burn for Me

“As he passed me, he leaned to Curran and handed him a paper fan folded from some sort of flyer.

Curran looked at the fan. “What?”
"An emergency precaution, Your Majesty. In case the lady faints.”

Curran just stared at him.

Raphael strode toward the Pit, turned, flexed a bit, and winked at me.

"Give me that,” I told Curran. “I need to fan myself.”
"No, you don’t.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Strikes

“Even I don't know what you're doing, and I know everything.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Bloodfever

“How much are you lifting?"
"Seven hundred."
Alrighty then. I will just stand over here, out of your way, and hope you don't remember to kick my ass.
He grinned. "Wanna spot me?"
"No thanks. How about I just scream verbal encouragements at you?" I took a deep breath and barked, "No pain, no gain! That pain is just weakness leaving your body! Come on! Push! Push! Make that weight your bitch!”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“How about you don't kill anybody for a little bit?"
"I can't make that promise."
Small talk with the dragon. How are you? Eaten any adventurers lately? Sure, just had one this morning. Look, I still got his femur stuck in my teeth. Is that upsetting to you?”
― Ilona Andrews, Burn for Me

“Had I known you were going to pull a pretty ribbon out of your sleeve like some two-bit magician, tie me up with it, and indulge your mental torture fetish in your basement, I would've shot you. Many times."
"Two-bit magician?"
"Men like you enjoy being flattered.”
― Ilona Andrews, Burn for Me

“If you keep wiggling, things might get uncomfortable,” he said into my ear, his voice like a caress. “I’m doing my best, but thinking about baseball only takes you so far.” I froze.”
― Ilona Andrews, Burn for Me

“Maybe I should roll down the window to let some of the sexual tension out.”
― Ilona Andrews, White Hot

“How do we get out of this circle?" I asked him.
"We kill him," he said.
"Good. Let's kill him and go home."
"I thought you'd never ask.”
― Ilona Andrews, White Hot

“Yes, I want your bullshit.”
― Ilona Andrews, White Hot

“You found me," he said.
"You didn't hide very well. And I'm a PI.”
― Ilona Andrews, White Hot

“If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus's guest room.”
― Richard Kadrey, Kill the Dead

“Chasing a burning girl down a city street is a lot harder than it sounds. Civilians tend to stop and stare and this turns them into human bowling pins. Slow whiny bowling pins.”
― Richard Kadrey, Kill the Dead

“Most people are idiots. There's nothing worse than idiots who tell you their opinions.”
― Richard Kadrey, Kill the Dead

“If Jesus, Jesse James, and a herd of pink robot unicorns strolled in walking on water, this bunch wouldn't even look up.”
― Richard Kadrey, Kill the Dead