J.M. Northup > J.M.'s Quotes

“Life moved, as inconstant and fickle as Wind Baby, frolicking, sleeping, weeping, but never truly still. Never solid or finished. Always like water flowing from one place to the next. Seed and fruit. Rain and drought, everything traveled in a gigantic circle, an eternal process of becoming something new. But we rarely saw it. Humans tended to see only frozen moments, not the flow of things.”
― Kathleen O'Neal Gear and W. Michael Gear, Bone Walker

“Even in darkness, there’s light. You just need to look for it.”
― J M Northup, Fears of Darkness

“Grace allows forgiveness and faith allows hope.”
― J M Northup, Fears of Darkness

“Although some part of me knew that it was an impossible future, I allowed myself to be immersed fully in my dream. If I couldn’t have this future, I would at least have this moment.”
― J M Northup, Fears of Darkness

“Regardless of the outcome, I needed to know that I lived my life the way I felt was right and just. I needed to let the past be the past and take people as they were in this moment; the only moment to exist.”
― J M Northup, Fears of Darkness

“She’s erasing me bit by bit and it’s painfully obvious that no one can stop her.”
― J M Northup, A Prisoner Within

“I was surprised hearing my own ragged voice. I sounded so hateful and angry. My voice didn’t resemble any part of what I knew of myself.”
― J M Northup, A Prisoner Within

“There was that part of me that thought if I was already been accused of it and punished for it, then I should just do it. Of course, I didn’t want to be that person. Did I?”
― J M Northup, A Prisoner Within

“I wouldn’t let the old voices dictate me; I wouldn’t let anyone dictate who I was anymore. I was strong enough to know who I was and I wasn’t going to be beaten down again.”
― J M Northup, A Prisoner Within

“Sitting there, I wasn’t convinced I’d survive until that day let alone beyond it. I felt the struggle intensifying between my mom and me no matter what I did to try to stop it. I couldn’t imagine a future where she’d just let me walk away from her. As it was, I felt like she was breaking me down a little more each day.”
― J M Northup, A Prisoner Within

“Sometimes I really hated people in general. I wanted to believe in the good that I knew existed in all of us, but it was so disheartening to see what happened when we let our bad over-rule that good.”
― J M Northup, Fears of Darkness

“People who felt scared or desperate enough could do almost anything, even things that are extremely out of their character to do; things that are not natural to them. When it came to the human condition, it only took one small spark to light an inferno.”
― J M Northup, Fears of Darkness

“Again, fear makes people do stupid things,” I reminded her. “It can even make you do things you never thought you were capable of. If you're desperate enough you'll even believe things you know aren’t true.”
― J M Northup, Fears of Darkness

“I guess it’s easier to believe a lie that helps you than a truth that doesn’t,” I remarked sadly.”
― J M Northup, Fears of Darkness

“I wanted more than anything to connect to someone. I wanted to feel alive again. I just felt dead inside. I could understand how some people just gave up. This darkness was overwhelming.”
― J M Northup, Fears of Darkness

“Just because we live in a world of chaos and madness doesn’t mean we have to subscribe to that sort of behavior.”
― J M Northup, Fears of Darkness

“Why did I even try then? Of course, in asking the question, I’d already known the answer; faith. I hoped; I couldn’t help it.”
― J M Northup, A Prisoner Within

“I believe that all things are connected; that we’re interdependent on one another. I just like feeling the wind in my hair, the sun on my face, and the earth under my feet. It all nourishes me; my soul anyway.”
― J M Northup, Fears of Darkness

“What did that say about me? Had I become one of the monsters I thought I was fighting?
“Things didn’t have to be like this,” I commented. “He could’ve made different choices.”
― J M Northup, Fears of Darkness

“As I lay in the late hours of night or perhaps the wee hours of morning, I felt content. I’d been right to keep faith and trust when I had no reason to. I didn’t expect any grand gestures or magical solutions to things, but my hope was fueled.”
― J M Northup, A Prisoner Within

“I felt ancient and exhausted. I felt like a prisoner within myself and as if I was just watching a movie that was playing before my eyes. I just wanted all of it to end and disappear; I wanted to disappear.”
― J M Northup, A Prisoner Within

“Perhaps I really was disillusioned; unable to see myself for who, and what, I really was. Maybe I really was an ungrateful wretch who just refused to take responsibility for my own actions. Maybe I was lying to myself because I didn’t want to admit to being a bad person. Maybe…”
― J M Northup, A Prisoner Within

“My step-dad’s rendition of events was uncontested even by me and therefore, it became our truth. Truth I’d never be able to prove or change; truth that protected him from suspicion and penalty. Truth that I now knew was a lie.”
― J M Northup, A Prisoner Within

“As I ran a few blades of grass between my fingers, enjoying the breeze as it caressed my face, I contemplated the cycle of life. As this year would host the long anticipated arrival of the Mayan Doomsday, marking the end of their long count calendar, I wasn’t alone in my ponderings. The whole world was focused on the potential that we would be the last generation; the witnesses of the world’s end.”
― J.M. Northup, A Ripple of Fear

“I didn’t really comprehend what was happening or how tonight had changed us and the course of our future, but I instinctively knew that things would never be the same again. Something had ended and something was definitely beginning, I just didn’t have the knowledge base to know what.”
― J.M. Northup, A Ripple of Fear

“I fell silent after that. I didn’t want to talk about such things anymore, at least today. My chest already hurt and I was trying to keep my mind calm. I didn’t want to think of a future so bleak and dark. I had plans for my future and they didn’t involve the world ending or society collapsing.”
― J.M. Northup, A Ripple of Fear

“Sam heard someone bellow in the distance, but the sound of freight trains running in his ears dampened the sound, making it impossible for him to locate the source of the cry. When he heard it sound again, closer, the voice sounded familiar somehow. He strained to listen past the thundering racket in his ears, only to be rewarded by another holler from the voice. This time, he recognized the voice as his own.”
― J.M. Northup, Saving Sam

“The old fire pit was ancient. I couldn’t say how many of my ancestors warmed themselves at this outdoor hearth. Sitting around it was rather affecting, especially when you thought about the countless people who had occupied your very spot in some distant past. It was kind of surreal.”
― J.M. Northup, A Ripple of Fear

“I was starting to feel like my opposition was futile. Was my resistance worth the weariness that was seeping into my body? I couldn’t deny that I coveted him. I recognized my body’s demand for him for what it was and I had no disillusionments; I knew that I would enjoy the promises he tantalized me with.”
― J.M. Northup, Soul Searching

“I was feeling more edgy and uncomfortable as my unquenched desires moved from a feeling of discontent to full blown pain. At first, the sensation was more like an irritation or itch, but the longer I sat there, the more intense it grew. Not only was I burning from the dissatisfaction of my unmet arousal, but my entire body felt like it was on fire. It was as if a billion poisoned needles were being injected into me simultaneously torturing my soul with flames that licked the flesh from my body.”
― J.M. Northup, Soul Searching