Rosa K > Rosa's Quotes

“The dogs left with us and we walked. I sobbed the whole way home, still heartbroken. My mom had no time for my whining.
“Why are you crying?!”
“Because Fufi loves another boy.”
“So? Why would that hurt you? It didn’t cost you anything. Fufi’s here. She still loves you. She’s still your dog. So get over it.”
Fufi was my first heartbreak. No one has ever betrayed me more than Fufi. It was a valuable lesson to me. The hard thing was understanding that Fufi wasn’t cheating on me with another boy. She was merely living her life to the fullest. Until I knew that she was going out on her own during the day, her other relationship hadn’t affected me at all. Fufi had no malicious intent.
I believed that Fufi was my dog, but of course that wasn’t true. Fufi was a dog. I was a boy. We got along well. She happened to live in my house. That experience shaped what I’ve felt about relationships for the rest of my life: You do not own the thing that you love. I was lucky to learn that lesson at such a young age. I have so many friends who still, as adults, wrestle with feelings of betrayal. They’ll come to me angry and crying and talking about how they’ve been cheated on and lied to, and I feel for them. I understand what they’re going through. I sit with them and buy them a drink and I say, “Friend, let me tell you the story of Fufi.”
― Trevor Noah, Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood

“Now that I’m an adult, I realize that kids know at a very young age when they’re being devalued, when adults aren’t invested enough to help them learn. Their anger over it can manifest itself as unruliness. It’s hardly their fault. They aren’t “bad kids.” They’re just trying to survive bad circumstances.”
― Michelle Obama, Becoming

“The choice, as he saw it, was this: You give up or you work for change. “What’s better for us?” Barack called to the people gathered in the room. “Do we settle for the world as it is, or do we work for the world as it should be?”
― Michelle Obama, Becoming

“I would rather be a bad feminist than no feminist at all.”
― Roxane Gay, Bad Feminist

“I believe women not just in the United States but throughout the world deserve equality and freedom but know I am in no position to tell women of other cultures what that equality and freedom should look like.”
― Roxane Gay, Bad Feminist: Essays

“We need to stop playing Privilege or Oppression Olympics because we’ll never get anywhere until we find more effective ways of talking through difference. We should be able to say, “This is my truth,” and have that truth stand without a hundred clamoring voices shouting, giving the impression that multiple truths cannot coexist.”
― Roxane Gay, Bad Feminist: Essays

“In white culture, forgiveness is synonymous with letting go. In my culture, I believe we carry pain until we can reconcile with it through ceremony. Pain is not framed like a problem with a solution. I don’t even know that white people see transcendence the way we do. I’m not sure that their dichotomies apply to me.”
― Terese Marie Mailhot, Heart Berries

“I confess that I am now suspicious of nearly every attempt to code anger as unhealthy, no matter how well meaning or persuasive the source. I believe Stanton was correct: what is bad for women, when it comes to anger, are the messages that cause us to bottle it up, let it fester, keep it silent, feel shame, and isolation for ever having felt it or re-channel it in inappropriate directions. What is good for us is opening our mouths and letting it out, permitting ourselves to feel it and say it and think it and act on it and integrate it into our lives, just as we integrate joy and sadness and worry and optimism.”
― Rebecca Traister, Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger

“Here’s the validation that I hope it can offer: that those who are furious right now are not alone, are not crazy, are not unattractive.”
― Rebecca Traister, Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger

“anger is often an exuberant expression. It is the force that injects energy, intensity, and urgency into battles that must be intense and urgent if they are to be won. More broadly, we must come to recognize our own rage as valid, as rational, and not as what we’re told it is: ugly, hysterical, marginal, laughable.”
― Rebecca Traister, Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger

“As Amanda Litman... has written, 'Instead of resisting (anger) or avoiding it, let your fury push you to action. Embrace your anger and put it to work.”
― Rebecca Traister, Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger

“The fact that we can often only register the fury of white men as heroic is so established that it would verge on the comical if it weren’t so deeply tragic.”
― Rebecca Traister, Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger

“We didn't have last names before they came. When they decided they needed to keep track of us, last names were given to us, just like the name "INDIAN" itself was given to us. These were attempted translations and botched Indian names, random surnames, and names passed down from white American generals, admirals, and colonels, and sometimes troop names, which were sometimes just colors.”
― Tommy Orange, There There

“The insistence that healthcare finance must be obtuse, that we must be condemned to illness because of an untranslatable series of runes and glyphs accessible only to a specialized wonk class—that it just has to be hard and thus anything that isn’t hard isn’t a solution—is a kind of epistemic violence against us non-wonk humans.*4 It is a lack of ambition, disguised as pragmatism. So let’s start simple. Here’s single-payer in one sentence: we pool the money we already pay to insurance companies and use it to insure everyone, in full, with no cost-sharing.”
― Timothy Faust, Health Justice Now: Single Payer and What Comes Next

“To create loving men, we must love males. Loving maleness is different from praising and rewarding males for living up to sexist-defined notions of male identity. Caring about men because of what they do for us is not the same as loving males for simply being. When we love maleness, we extend our love whether males are performing or not. Performance is different from simply being. In patriarchal culture males are not allowed simply to be who they are and to glory in their unique identity. Their value is always determined by what they do. In an anti-patriarchal culture males do not have to prove their value and worth. They know from birth that simply being gives them value, the right to be cherished and loved.”
― Bell Hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

“Men do oppress women. People are hurt by rigid sexist role patterns. These two realities coexist. Male oppression of women cannot be excused by the recognition that there are ways men are hurt by rigid sexist roles. Feminist activists should acknowledge that hurt, and work to change it—it exists. It does not erase or lessen male responsibility for supporting and perpetuating their power under patriarchy to exploit and oppress women in a manner far more grievous than the serious psychological stress and emotional pain caused by male conformity to rigid sexist role patterns.”
― Bell Hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

“We have to constantly critique imperialist white supremacist patriarchal culture because it is normalized by mass media and rendered unproblematic.”
― bell hooks, Home Grown: engaged cultural criticism

“I embrace the label of bad feminist because I am human. I am messy. I’m not trying to be an example. I am not trying to be perfect. I am not trying to say I have all the answers. I am not trying to say I’m right. I am just trying—trying to support what I believe in, trying to do some good in this world, trying to make some noise with my writing while also being myself.”
― Roxane Gay, Bad Feminist

“When the historian of queer experience attempts to document a queer past, there is often a gatekeeper, representing a straight present.”
― Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

“This is how emotions work, right? They get tangled and complicated? They take on their own life? Trying to control them is like trying to control a wild animal: no matter how much you think you’ve taught them, they’re willful. They have minds of their own. That’s the beauty of wildness.”
― Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

“It’s not being radical to point out that people on the fringe have to be better than people in the mainstream, that they have twice as much to prove. In trying to get people to see your humanity, you reveal just that: your humanity. Your fundamentally problematic nature. All the unique and terrible ways in which people can, and do, fail.”
― Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

“you can be hurt by people who look just like you. Not only can it happen, it probably will, because the world is full of hurt people who hurt people. Even if the dominant culture considers you an anomaly, that doesn’t mean you can’t be common, common as fucking dirt.”
― Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

“In my mind, I see a line. And over that line, I see green fields and lovely flowers and beautiful white women with their arms stretched out to me over that line, but I can’t seem to get there no-how. I can't seem to get over that line.”
― Harriet Tubman

“If you have the right heart, and the passion for taking care of people, that’s the most important thing you need. Caring is the most important part of care. Sounds funny, but all the other skills can be learned. But it’s hard to train someone to care.”
― Ai-jen Poo, The Age of Dignity: Preparing for the Elder Boom in a Changing America

“A fundamental problem with our current health care system is that its measure of success is the delay of death, rather than the quality of life. Living with dignity, feeling comfortable, and having self-determined, steadfast loving care until the end should be our goals for health care for our elders.”
― Ai-jen Poo, The Age of Dignity: Preparing for the Elder Boom in a Changing America

“Rape culture, a system that positions some bodies as deserving to be attacked, hinges on ignoring the mistreatment of marginalized women, whether they are in the inner city, on a reservation, are migrant workers, or are incarcerated. Because their bodies are seen as available and often disposable, sexual violence is tacitly normalized even as people decry its impact on those with more privilege.”
― Mikki Kendall, Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot

“Creating derivative software to help brands better understand their customers seemed like a poor use of my limited time on this burning planet.”
― Wendy Liu, Abolish Silicon Valley: How to Liberate Technology from Capitalism

“But I also believe that technology has greater potential than the mundane, profit-seeking ventures to which it has been relegated under the current system.”
― Wendy Liu, Abolish Silicon Valley: How to Liberate Technology from Capitalism

“Abolishing Silicon Valley doesn’t mean halting the development of technology. It means devising a new way to develop technology which fulfils technology’s transformative potential.”
― Wendy Liu, Abolish Silicon Valley: How to Liberate Technology from Capitalism

“There’s a cold underlying rationality which corrupts the motives of even the most well-meaning, and in the absence of strong accountability mechanisms, individual ethics can only go so far. Ultimately the problem is structural, and the solutions will need to be structural, too.”
― Wendy Liu, Abolish Silicon Valley: How to Liberate Technology from Capitalism