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  • #1
    Markus Herz
    “Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
    ― Markus Herz
    tags: books, health, humor, misattributed-mark-twain, misprints
    13741 likes

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  • #2
    I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!
    “I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: humor, mankind, people
    18553 likes

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  • #3
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148565 likes

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  • #4
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    38002 likes

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  • #5
    Nicolas Chamfort
    “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
    ― Nicolas Chamfort
    tags: philosophy
    14983 likes

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  • #6
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein
    tags: cats, humor, women
    28815 likes

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  • #7
    Mae West
    “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, life
    119224 likes

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  • #8
    Eleanor Roosevelt
    “A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”
    ― Eleanor Roosevelt
    tags: attributed-no-source, misattributed-eleanor-roosevelt
    40784 likes

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  • #9
    Anne Frank
    “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”
    ― Anne Frank, Anne Frank's Tales from the Secret Annex: A Collection of Her Short Stories, Fables, and Lesser-Known Writings
    tags: activism, life, optimism, philosophy, world
    13385 likes

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  • #10
    Joseph Conrad
    “Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealings with men.”
    ― Joseph Conrad, Chance
    tags: women
    12383 likes

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  • #11
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.”
    ― Rodney Dangerfield
    tags: crime, funny, humour
    1540 likes

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  • #12
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
    ― Rodney Dangerfield
    tags: crime, funny, humour, neighborhoods
    3718 likes

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  • #13
    William Shakespeare
    “My only love sprung from my only hate!
    Too early seen unknown, and known too late!
    Prodigious birth of love it is to me,
    That I must love a loathed enemy.”
    ― William Shakespeare
    tags: romance, romeo-and-juliet
    2440 likes

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  • #14
    Steve Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: humor, obvious, simile
    35267 likes

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  • #15
    Oscar Levant
    “There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
    ― Oscar Levant
    tags: genius, humor, insanity
    9902 likes

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  • #16
    “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
    ― Anthony G. Oettinger
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-groucho-marx, time
    6194 likes

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  • #17
    Jerome K. Jerome
    “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
    ― Jerome K. Jerome
    tags: humor, work
    8143 likes

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  • #18
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche
    tags: humor, philosophy
    8085 likes

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  • #19
    Groucho Marx
    “I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.”
    ― Groucho Marx, Groucho and Me
    tags: clique, clubs, humor, membership
    1872 likes

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  • #20
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.”
    ― Kurt Vonnegut
    tags: humor
    1407 likes

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  • #21
    Derek Landy
    “Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.”
    ― Derek Landy
    tags: family, humor
    667 likes

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  • #22
    Jim Henson
    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
    ― Jim Henson
    26438 likes

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  • #23
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
    tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
    21438 likes

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  • #24
    Emily Dickinson
    “Hope is the thing with feathers
    That perches in the soul
    And sings the tune without the words
    And never stops at all.”
    ― Emily Dickinson
    tags: feathers, hope, inspirational, souls
    8850 likes

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  • #25
    Billy Sunday
    “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
    ― Billy Sunday, "Billy" Sunday, the man and his message: with his own words which have won thousands for Christ
    tags: automobile, car, funny, humor, religious
    8923 likes

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  • #26
    Lemony Snicket
    “Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”
    ― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid
    tags: funny
    6428 likes

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  • #27
    Jerry Seinfeld
    “If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?”
    ― Jerry Seinfeld
    tags: books, funny
    4023 likes

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  • #28
    Yogi Berra
    “Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”
    ― Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes
    tags: funny
    3001 likes

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  • #29
    Cathy Guisewite
    “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
    ― Cathy Guiswite
    tags: eyes, funny, lemons
    5197 likes

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  • #30
    Lauren Myracle
    “You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle!”
    ― Lauren Myracle, ttfn
    tags: funny, humor, waffles
    1444 likes



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Tags From Sydney’s Quotes

books
health
humor
misattributed-mark-twain
misprints
mankind
people
attributed-no-source
human-nature
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
animals
dogs
friends
cats
women
life
misattributed-eleanor-roosevelt
activism
optimism
world
crime
funny
humour
neighborhoods
romance
romeo-and-juliet
obvious
simile
genius
insanity
misattributed-to-groucho-marx
time
work
clique
clubs
membership
family
open-mind
thinking
feathers
hope
inspirational
souls
automobile
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religious
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lemons
waffles