Lance > Lance's Quotes

“Talking of being eaten by dogs, there’s a dachshund at Brinkley who when you first meet him will give you the impression that he plans to convert you into a light snack between his regular meals. Pay no attention. It’s all eyewash. His belligerent attitude is simply—"

Sound and fury signifying nothing, sir?"

That’s it. Pure swank. A few civil words, and he will be grappling you . . . What’s the expression I’ve heard you use?"

Grappling me to his soul with hoops of steel, sir?"

In the first two minutes. He wouldn’t hurt a fly, but he has to put up a front because his name’s Poppet. One can readily appreciate that when a dog hears himself addressed day in and day out as Poppet, he feels he must throw his weight about. Is self-respect demands it."

Precisely, sir."

You’ll like Poppet. Nice dog. Wears his ears inside out. Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?"

I could not say, sir."

Nor me. I’ve often wondered.”
― P.G. Wodehouse

“Most true things are kind of corny, don’t you think? But we make them more sophisticated out of sheer embarrassment.”
― Michel Faber, The Book of Strange New Things

“I began my ministry with some zeal, endeavouring to improve the lives of my flock by launching a little campaign to have the alehouse open only three days in the week instead of seven, and offering--as a nobler recompense--two extra church services. Sadly this little initiative was answered, in certain quarters, with something like hostility.”
― Matthew Kneale

“My opponents' first argument was that the rocks of the earth--which are generally agreed to have once been in a hot and melted state--would have required far longer to lose their heat than the Scriptures described. My reply was that the earth had indeed cooled at great speed, being made possible by a process I termed Divine Refrigeration.”
― Matthew Kneale, English Passengers

“Take away paradox from the thinker and you have a professor.”
― Soren Kierkegaard

“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, sir.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Code of the Woosters

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
― Oscar Wilde (attributed to)

“It may be unfair, but what happens in a few days, sometimes even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime...”
― Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

“They knew that you breathed and you slept and you worked, but they didn’t know that you read. Such a thing was beyond comprehension. They thought that in your spare time you sat and gazed into space, or looked at Peg’s Paper or the Crimson Circle. You could almost see them reporting you to their friends. ‘Margaret’s a good cook, but unfortunately she reads. Books, you know.”
― Margaret Powell, Below Stairs

“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.

Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.”
― Stephen Fry

“Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Airman's Odyssey

“You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.”
― C.S. Lewis

“After killing the red-haired man, I took myself off to Quinn’s for an oyster supper.”
― Michael Cox, The Meaning of Night

“A good mother loves fiercely but ultimately brings up her children to thrive without her. They must be the most important thing in her life, but if she is the most important thing in theirs, she has failed.”
― Erin Kelly, The Burning Air

“Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.”
― Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind: And Other Aphorisms

“Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business, and eventually degenerates into a racket.”
― Eric Hoffer, The Temper of Our Time

“Nonconformists travel as a rule in bunches. You rarely find a nonconformist who goes it alone. And woe to him inside a nonconformist clique who does not conform with nonconformity.”
― Eric Hoffer

“It has often been said that power corrupts. But it is perhaps equally important to realize that weakness, too, corrupts. Power corrupts the few, while weakness corrupts the many. Hatred, malice, rudeness, intolerance, and suspicion are the faults of weakness. The resentment of the weak does not spring from any injustice done to them but from their sense of inadequacy and impotence. We cannot win the weak by sharing our wealth with them. They feel our generosity as oppression.”
― Eric Hoffer

“Human nature favors the tribal. Tribalism engenders violence. It was ever thus and so it will ever be.”
― Kate Atkinson, Transcription

“People always said they wanted the truth, but really they were perfectly content with a facsimile.”
― Kate Atkinson, Transcription

“Good news?’ Gloria queried. She wondered if Emily was pregnant again (was that good news?), so she was taken aback when Emily said, ‘I’ve found Jesus.’ ‘Oh,’ Gloria said. ‘Where was he?”
― Kate Atkinson

“Juliet and Hartley had long ago abandoned manners with each other. It was refreshing to behave without respect towards someone.”
― Kate Atkinson, Transcription

“In Teddy’s experience people who claimed to be one thing were generally the opposite,”
― Kate Atkinson, A God in Ruins

“But melancholy, that was his own true humor. A miserable bastard, in other words.”
― Kate Atkinson, One Good Turn

“When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful & difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.”
― Philippe Geluck