Tom > Tom's Quotes

“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”
― Frank Zappa

“Drugs will turn you into your parents.”
― Frank Zappa

“Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read.”
― Frank Zappa

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
― Groucho Marx

“Humor is reason gone mad.”
― Groucho Marx

“When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.”
― George Bernard Shaw

“While we ourselves are the living graves of murdered beasts, how can we expect any ideal conditions on this earth?”
― George Bernard Shaw

“A learned man is an idler who kills time by study.”
― George Bernard Shaw

“Anyway—because we are readers, we don't have to wait for some communications executive to decide what we should think about next—and how we should think about it. We can fill our heads with anything from aardvarks to zucchinis—at any time of night or day.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Palm Sunday: An Autobiographical Collage