Andy > Andy's Quotes

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
― Dr. Seuss

“Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.”
― Eugene Mirman, The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life – The Ultimate Satirical Field Manual for Becoming an Artist or Disappointing Your Parents

“In this book I will teach you, based on stuff I have either made up, observed, or overheard, how to live the life you want--the life you Will. Obviously, if your name is Will and you are slow, this book will be confusing/upsetting. Be careful. Thanks.”
― Eugene Mirman, The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life – The Ultimate Satirical Field Manual for Becoming an Artist or Disappointing Your Parents

“It's easy to sit on a mountaintop and tell people what to do and how to be happy. I have chosen to do that. Not because it's easy, but for a different reason, which I would reveal, if your mind was ready to handle it, which it isn't, which is also very convenient for me.”
― Eugene Mirman, The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life – The Ultimate Satirical Field Manual for Becoming an Artist or Disappointing Your Parents

“A comedian is simply a different kind of therapist. A comedian is a psychologist and a psychiatrist rolled into one. Except I can't prescribe medicine. (You still need a doctorate, which is bullshit.) Okay, so I'm not like a psychiatrist. Fine. But I'm still like a psychologist (except I can't diagnose or treat mental illness).”
― Eugene Mirman, The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life – The Ultimate Satirical Field Manual for Becoming an Artist or Disappointing Your Parents

“Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

“My experience of life is that it is not divided up into genres; it’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you're lucky.”
― Alan Moore