Christopher Jackiewicz > Christopher's Quotes

“Racism isn’t born, folks. It’s taught. I have a 2-year-old son. Know what he hates? Naps. End of list.”
― Denis Leary

“The only difference between kids and jungle animals is pants. Kids wear them. Jungle animals don't.”
― Denis Leary, Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid

“I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.”
― Denis Leary

“Loud, stupid and overeating will suffice as long as we also have the funny, the fierce and the intellectual”
― Denis Leary, Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid

“I eat meat because meat tastes like murder, and murder tastes pretty dam good!”
― Denis Leary

“White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I want a real change. People, I want a president who speaks well, who has a sense of humor. This guy is such a moron! It's beyond the point where it's a joke. He's an idiot.”
― Denis Leary

“Every job has parts of it that are a giant pain in the ass - whether you carry a penis or a purse.”
― Denis Leary, Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid

“Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette butt, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm. You come, you smoke the butt you eat the cookie you go to sleep wake up and go back to fucking work the next morning, THAT'S IT! End of fucking list! ”
― Dennis Lear

“Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty five years and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then one day you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe”
― Denis Leary