Kristian Bjørkelo > Kristian's Quotes

“Please write your name on the envelope before you put your poop in, because you’ll find it difficult to write on it afterward.”
― Euny Hong, The Birth of Korean Cool: How One Nation Is Conquering the World Through Pop Culture

“You may have an iPhone, for example, but its microchips are made by Apple’s biggest competitor—the Korean electronics company Samsung.”
― Euny Hong, The Birth of Korean Cool: How One Nation Is Conquering the World Through Pop Culture

“First-worlders have the luxury of not having to think about waste elimination very much. But for a third-worlder, poop is a big preoccupation.”
― Euny Hong, The Birth of Korean Cool: How One Nation Is Conquering the World Through Pop Culture

“Irony is that special privilege of wealthy nations;”
― Euny Hong, The Birth of Korean Cool: How One Nation Is Conquering the World Through Pop Culture

“He seemed like the kind of guy who’d need a rest after busily passing gas all day.”
― Anonymous

“Psy will go down in history as the first real twenty-first-century entertainer: who else could combine Confucianism and farting?”
― Euny Hong, The Birth of Korean Cool: How One Nation Is Conquering the World Through Pop Culture

“I’ve made much worse gaffes, like the time I accidentally spilled hot soup on a Nobel laureate’s lap and then set fire to his kitchen.”
― Euny Hong, The Birth of Korean Cool: How One Nation Is Conquering the World Through Pop Culture

“The teachers never explained what this debt was all about, but we knew it was an embarrassment on the level of a national bedwetting.”
― Euny Hong, The Birth of Korean Cool: How One Nation Is Conquering the World Through Pop Culture

“In fact, the most common cause of death for Koreans under the age of forty is suicide;”
― Euny Hong, The Birth of Korean Cool: How One Nation Is Conquering the World Through Pop Culture

“In my prison cell i sit
With my britches full of $hit
and my balls are bouncing gently on the floor
and i see the bloody snag
when she bit me in the bag
oh, i'll never f--- a polack any more”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“A good historian of science will note that laypeople and scholars present at the birth of electricity, the railroad, the telephone, the television, and most of the other major innovations uttered similar pronouncements. But, as it inevitably turns out, our theories and techniques almost always can accommodate the new phenomena, be they global air travel or digital avatars in virtual worlds. In fact, shedding light on the similarities and differences with what has gone before – theoretically and substantively – is very often our objective as scholars and scientific thinkers.”
― Robert V Kozinets, Netnography: Doing Ethnographic Research Online

“My uncle says his grandfather remembered when children didn’t kill each other. But that was a long time ago when they had things different. They believed in responsibility, my uncle says.”
― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

“So few want to be rebels anymore.”
― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

“I remember the newspapers dying like huge moths. No one wanted them back. No one missed them.”
― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

“The point is obvious. There is more than one way to burn a book. And the world is full of people running about with lit matches. Every minority, be it Baptist/Unitarian, Irish/Italian/Octogenarian/Zen Buddhist, Zionist/Seventh-day Adventist, Women’s Lib/Republican, Mattachine/Four Square Gospel feels it has the will, the right, the duty to douse the kerosene, light the fuse. Every dimwit editor who sees himself as the source of all dreary blanc-mange plain-porridge unleavened literature licks his guillotine and eyes the neck of any author who dares to speak above a whisper or write above a nursery rhyme.”
― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

“For it is a mad world and it will get madder if we allow the minorities, be they dwarf or giant, orangutan or dolphin, nuclear-head or water-conservationist, pro-computerologist or Neo-Luddite, simpleton or sage, to interfere with aesthetics. The real world is the playing ground for each and every group, to make or unmake laws. But the tip of the nose of my books or stories or poems is where their rights end and my territorial imperatives begin, run and rule.”
― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

“In sum, do not insult me with the beheadings, finger-choppings, or the lung-deflations you plan for my works. I need my head to shake or nod, my hand to wave or make into a fist, my lungs to shout or whisper with. I will not go gently onto a shelf, degutted, to become a non-book.”
― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

“Brought product to surface of Mars. It stopped working. 0/10.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“I’m not a mama’s boy or anything. I’m a full-grown man who only occasionally wears diapers (you have to in an EVA suit).”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Also, please tell them that each and every one of their mothers is a prostitute. —Watney PS: Their sisters, too.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“I told NASA what I did. Our (paraphrased) conversation was: Me: “I took it apart, found the problem, and fixed it.” NASA: “Dick.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Fun fact: This is exactly how the Apollo 1 crew died. Wish me luck!”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Elrond,” Bruce said. “The Council of Elrond. From Lord of the Rings. It’s the meeting where they decide to destroy the One Ring.”
“Jesus,” Annie said. “None of you got laid in high school, did you?”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“I started the day with some nothin’ tea. Nothin’ tea is easy to make. First, get some hot water, then add nothin’.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“It’s true, you know. In space, no one can hear you scream like a little girl.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“All of man’s other religions place him at the center of creation. But man is nothing—a fraction of the life that will walk the Earth. Earth is nothing—a tiny world that will die with its sun. The sun is one of trillions where life flowers, and wants to live, and dies. And between the suns is an endless vast darkness that dwarfs them, through which life can travel only by giving up that wanting, by losing itself. Even that darkness will eventually die. In such a universe, knowledge is the stub of a candle at dusk.”
― Ruthanna Emrys, The Litany of Earth

“Close to it was an aquarium tank filled with a thick, yellowish substance that could have been slug slime and at the bottom was a wrinkled grayish mass that could have been a human brain or possibly a meat-loaf.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“You don't even exist. We're all just a figment of my cock's imagination.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“It was the pink elephant in the room, the thunderous fart in the elevator.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“They had puddled in the floorboards and they poured out onto the pavement like the jackpot from the Devil’s slot machine, the bugs raining down with a sound like frying bacon.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End