David Katzman > David's Quotes

“To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!”
― Jon Stewart

“Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.”
― Jon Stewart

“Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe -- dare I dream it? -- maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively.”
― Jon Stewart

“If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American -- our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.”
― Jon Stewart

“It's funny. When we were alive we spent much of our time staring up at the cosmos and wondering what was out there. We were obsessed with the moon and whether we could one day visit it. The day we finally walked on it was celebrated worldwide as perhaps man's greatest achievement. But it was while we were there, gathering rocks from the moon's desolate landscape, that we looked up and caught a glimpse of just how incredible our own planet was. Its singular astonishing beauty. We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.”
― Jon Stewart, Earth (The Book): A Visitor's Guide to the Human Race

“Touching is just electrons repelling. Nothing can touch. Ever.”
― David David Katzman, A Greater Monster

“Realization: We render time by stitching together moments--flipping pages in the book of consciousness presents a continuous stream. Our senses too slow to realize the separation of moments, like a strand of pearls through eternity.

Time is terrifying, time is unspeakable. Clock-time lies down between moments ... but distance warps with velocity, time bends with velocity. Frames of reference. Are not absolute. Are selfish. A private reality. Clocks have a life of their own. Framed by references.”
― David David Katzman, A Greater Monster

“Without a mask to shape us, what would we face anyone with?”
― David David Katzman, A Greater Monster

“Lies erase. Lies are power. Power to be had by you. Truth is relative, no? Power defeats truth, paper, scissors. Are you faux real?”
― David David Katzman, A Greater Monster

“one might call this state ["youth" (but that seems inaccurate)] "remembering" but memory is quite eerie like caging a dream, and when I recite the rote details the real event slithers further from me because the telling of it reshapes it, every touch alters it, until it is unrecognizable except as a story [a doppelganger (immediately not myself) a writhing poltergeist summoned to snap at me from the darkness~or benign but vague, like a whisper making it better to remain silent, but I can't~the past is a narrative (that writes us) immanent in the present [proving there is cause and effect in the immaterial (the mythic becomes carnal by leaving marks on the body)] symbol by symbol, building up invisible scars”
― David David Katzman, A Greater Monster

“The phone rang. By the caller ID she saw it was Hal from the Wizard temp agency. “Hey Valerie,” he said. “Oh, hey Hal. What can I do for you?” she replied. “Oh, there’s this thing. Before I tell you about it, are you free right now to go out? I know it’s short notice, but rather than explain the whole thing to you and then find out you’re busy with something else I just want to ask upfront. Because explaining it to you would be a waste of both of our time if you aren’t available.” “No, sure, yeah. No problem. I could go on something now. I’m not too busy.” “Okay, great. We got a call from the police. They’ve got some crazy thing going on downtown. Something to do with a multi-dimensional demon spirit possessing buildings and some gaping holes in reality or something like that. I don’t really have all the details because the police officer who called me was cut off mid-sentence. He seemed to come down with some kind of horrible case of screaming. Something about clawing his eyeballs out. Anyway, some other officer picked up the phone and said that their regular on-duty wizard was sick and to send someone to meet them near the downtown plaza. You can’t miss the three story tall blob-demon-thing tearing up the city streets, he said.” “Okay. Is it the usual hourly?” “Because it’s for the city rather than a private business, we give them a discounted rate. So it’s $15 an hour. You don’t have to take it.” “No, that’s okay. I need the money.”
― David David Katzman, The Kickstarter Letters