Kare Anderson > Kare's Quotes

“The stronger the signal you send yourself of your highest puThe stronger the signal you send yourself of your highest purpose, the more likely you are to notice ways to serve itrpose, the more likely you are to notice ways to serve it”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Bring out others’ better side and they are more likely to see and support yours.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“In a civilization when love is
gone we turn to justice and when
justice is gone we turn to power
and when power is gone we
turn to violence.”
― Kare Anderson, Moving From Me to We

“Speak to their positive intent, especially when they appear to have none, and you are more likely to bring out their better side.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters More Living a Happy, Meaningful and Satisfying Life With Others

“• The stronger the signal you send yourself of your highest purpose, the more likely you are to notice ways to serve it
• Your specificity boosts your clarity, credibility and memorability.
• The specific detail proves the general conclusion, not the reverse yet we are most likely to write and speak first in generalizations.
• Your focus on interconnectedness increases your frequency of serendipitous encounters, unexpected insights and deeper friendships.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters More Living a Happy, Meaningful and Satisfying Life With Others

“Whatever most captures your mind controls your life.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Becoming more deeply connected with those you admire and love bolsters, in you, the traits you most admire in them. Recognize behaviors that most upset you so, like defensive driving, you see potential “crashes” sooner and avoid them.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Speak sooner to sweet spot of shared interest to cultivate a meaningful connection, first step to creating something greater together.
Share the story in which others see a role they want to play so they’ll re- share it to make it “our” story
Whoever most vividly characterizes a situation usually determines how others see it, talk about it, and make decisions about it”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“We never have as great an opportunity to show self-comfort as when others around us aren’t. Hint: Don’t be a jerk because someone else is. Praise the behaviors in others that you most want to flourish.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“The most productive, healthy and satisfying relationships are based, not on a quid pro quo but an ebb and flow of mutual support over time. Don’t just be a giver. Be an extremely helpful giver who demonstrates an awareness of what that person most needs.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Best way to gain greater credibility, clout and success: involve unexpected allies, ardently united around something specific that you all believe is meaningful.”
― Kare Anderson

“Strangers can be consequential when you want to practice an atrophied or unexplored facet of you, as they don’t know how you usually act.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters More Living a Happy, Meaningful and Satisfying Life With Others

“See others’ slights or outright insults as opportunities to show equanimity, spurring observers to do the same, unified with you around a best side of us. Opportunity Makers demonstrate that being a strong team player is as important as being the leader. Think well of yourself. The subconscious can't take a joke.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Becoming more deeply connected with those you admire and love bolsters, in you, the traits you most admire in them.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Quiet the chattering mind promotes directed action. We can't know which interactions will deepen into richer relationships, yet we can keep the faith that our mutuality mindset affirms them. Mutuality most demonstrates our humanity and, in the end, that may be what most matters in our lives.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Create a clear explanation: Ask an expert & novice to craft it: Expert knows too much (curse of knowledge) and novice sees it with fresh eyes. Offer verbal snapshots that penetrate the mind and the gut in an instant then linger, leaving a bright after image. Whoever most vividly characterizes a situation usually determines how others see it, talk about it, and make decisions about it.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“We are far more revealing by the questions we ask than the answers we give. Answer briefly to sense where their questions are heading.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“We tend to like each other better when walking, sitting or standing side by side or at right angles from each other.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“It's not the number of contacts you cultivate but the diversity and depth of connections that leverage your opportunity to use best talents more often to accomplish more.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Fast thinkers aren’t smarter than slow. Collaborating in real time and over time leverages our collective value and limits pitfalls of both kinds of thinkers. Discuss options both face-to-face and virtually to enable fast and slow thinkers to optimize value for the team”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“It is easier to act your way into a better feeling than to feel your way into a better way of acting. When certain feelings hinder you, look for other feelings to feel. Supplant your fear with a greater motivation. The more frequently we feel and do not act, the less often we will feel. Act genially in the face of rancor; you may be the only angel in that person’s life. What you practice projecting you are projecting and you become.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Remember the many compartments of the heart, the seed of what is possible. So much of who we are is defined by the places we hold for each other. For it is not our ingenuity that sets us apart, but our capacity for love, the possibility our way will be lit by grace. Our hearts prisms, chiseling out the colors of pure light.”
― Kare Anderson, Getting What You Want: 2How to Reach Agreement and Resolve Conflict Every Time

“Bring out others better side and they are more likely to see and support yours. You can't develop positive people with negative feedback. What you praise in others, you'll encourage to flourish. People like people who like them.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Problems rarely exist at the level at which they are expressed. If you are arguing for more than ten minutes then you are probably not discussing the real conflict.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“People are far more revealing by the questions they ask than the answer they give. To get closer to understanding what is really on someone’s mind, answer their questions briefly so they ask follow-up questions. By their third question you’ll get a glimpse of their biggest fear or desire on the topic.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“More than money, talent, or your number of contacts, your capacity to create mutuality with others can transform you into a sought-after Opportunity Maker with whom people most want to align. Be the glue that sticks the right teams together to solve problems or seize opportunities sooner and better together.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Anchor Your Stories in Redemptive Themes So We Are Moved to Live Up to Them: Rather than making yourself the victim or the hero in the stories you tell, describe a daunting time of loss, crisis, or criticism or where you made a mistake or acted badly, yet you were eventually able to learn from it. Such stories show vulnerability and a desire to grow and live fully rather than in fear. Then that facet of you can be the place where others can positively and productively connect with you, hard-earned strengths firmly attached together. You can support each other in reinforcing redemptive characterizations and action.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Get specific sooner and reap many rewards. The specific detail or example proves the general conclusion, not the reverse. The more specific you are abut anything the more clear you become, for yourself and in telling others. Thus you reduce the chance of others misunderstanding you. And you become more compelling, credible and memorable.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Four healthy ways to spur people to keep the agreements they make:
1. Specificity Boosts Clarity and Accountability
The more concrete the agreement, the more clear the obligation and the more difficult it is for someone to misunderstand. "Please get right on that" does not create as much clarity nor accountability as, "Please finalize your choice of vendors by 5 p.m. tomorrow."

2. Peer Accountability Pins Us Together
Although this did not work on the non-profit committee, when peers meet face-to-face or via group video and make specific agreements with each other and they all have a stake in the outcome there's a higher probability of securing accountability.

3. Written Proof So We Don't Goof
To reinforce the power of mutual accountability, have a designated meeting recorder (or take turns with the role) so one participant is responsible for recording action items, deadlines and who's responsible for each item. The recorder sends that list to all participants' computers before they leave the meeting.

4. Upfront Rules of Engagement Are Our Guardrails
A company, team, or committee is more likely to spur mutual accountability when it adopts a few, specific agreements about how people will operate together, from punctuality to pithiness in writing or conversing.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others

“Stay sought-after by enabling others to proudly use their best talents together on things that matter to them. One way is to get employees to pair up on projects, thus cutting down silos and scaling up stronger performance -- plus these benefits:
• Facilitates cross-training in a fast, natural and fun way.

• Enables individuals in different parts of your organization to get to know more people in meaningful ways, and discover each other's best talents and favorite interests.

• Prevents your organization from being hamstrung when a key expert leaves.”
― Kare Anderson, Mutuality Matters How You Can Create More Opportunity, Adventure & Friendship With Others