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bell hooks

“Learning to wear a mask (that word already embedded in the term “masculinity”) is the first lesson in patriarchal masculinity that a boy learns. He learns that his core feelings cannot be expressed if they do not conform to the acceptable behaviors sexism defines as male. Asked to give up the true self in order to realize the patriarchal ideal, boys learn self-betrayal early and are rewarded for these acts of soul murder.”

Bell Hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love
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The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by bell hooks
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