“Still, when I looked behind the faces of those around me, all I saw was insanity, unrest, and anguish; or suffering, fear, and loneliness; or boredom, or solitude, or rage and impotence - shit, what was there to be happy about? Some fun, right? I saw a few pretty girls, but they seemed ugly to me, and the men seemed stupid...What I wanted was to fade into the shadows. I wanted a sad world, a cold one - a world without hope, without substance, without light. That's how it was. I wanted to plunge to the bottom...Sometimes you just want to see the whole show fold - the sky fall. Anyway, this was my state of mind, and I hadn't drunk a drop.”