“first part of the What’s This Really About? conversation: Figuring out what everyone wants. But there’s also a second part to What’s This Really About?: Determining how we will talk to one another and cooperate in making decisions. There are lots of decisions that occur during every conversation, ranging from the unimportant (Will we interrupt each other?) to the crucial (“Should we send this man to jail?”). So, amid our negotiation, we must also figure out how we will make choices together.”