“I can’t do this; they’ll see right through me” pops into your mind as you sit in the conference room, stomach in knots, waiting for your one shot to impress a major client. Just before you break out into panic, another thought surfaces: “Wait a minute. You’re prepared. You know this inside and out. You’ve got this!” The old model of toughness shuts down this internal debate, preferring to push away or refuse to acknowledge whatever voice we deem as destructive. As if the negative voice is a character flaw, a sign of “weakness” seeping out. But new research shows that both voices are telling you something important. Neither is good or bad; they are conveying information that sometimes we want to listen to, other times we let float by. When we reframe toughness as something defined by awareness of these voices, they become tools that help us make better decisions when things get hard.”