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“The conclusions we draw about intentions based on the impact of others’ actions on us are rarely charitable. When a friend shows up late to the movie, we don’t think, “Gee, I’ll bet he ran into someone in need.” More likely we think, “Jerk. He doesn’t care about making me miss the beginning of the movie.” When we’ve been hurt by someone else’s behavior, we assume the worst. When a customer writes “I don’t suppose you’ve gotten to my order yet . . . ,” is he being sarcastic? Is he angry? Or is he trying to tell you that he knows you’re busy? Without tone of voice to guide us, it is easy to assume the worst. We Treat Ourselves More Charitably.”

Douglas Stone, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
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Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone
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