“But I’m not an alcoholic. I can quit at any time. I just don’t want to. To prove it to myself, I set the bourbon down, keeping my hand close to the glass but not touching it. Then I wait, seeing how long I last before taking a sip. The seconds tick by, me counting each one in my head the same way I did when I was a girl and Marnie wanted me to time how long she could stay underwater before coming up for air. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi. I make it to exactly forty-six Mississippis before sighing, grabbing the glass, and taking a gulp. As I swallow, I’m struck by a thought. One of those insights I usually drink to avoid. Maybe I’m not looking for trouble. Maybe I am the trouble.”