“• Question what needs you are attempting to meet within the conflict that has arisen. • How are your emotions guiding you to behave in certain ways? • What does that tell you about what your core unmet needs are? Remember that during this process you must be kind to yourself. It can be painful to realize and accept core wounds since they have years or decades of built-up negative emotion retained within them. By being transparent and kind to yourself, you will be more likely to find your true unmet need in the situation. Once you have discovered your unmet needs, it can be helpful to consider their opposites. For example, the opposite of feeling abandoned is feeling cherished, adopted, or defended. Once Chris realizes that his core wound surrounds feeling abandoned and discovers that his unmet need is emotional connection, he can look for ways that the opposite emotion has appeared in his life. For example, all the times that Suneel or his other friends have made him feel cherished or defended. The simple act of looking for examples where the opposite emotion of your core wound appears can help neutralize the overall emotional charge in any given circumstance. In summation, the third step of the RAIN process is to investigate what you are feeling by asking probing questions. These questions will lead you to the core wounds you may have and what unmet needs may exist. This will help you understand your behavior in reaction to those unmet needs and core wounds, and thus can help you identify scenarios where the opposite has occurred. By finding situations that disprove the beliefs surrounding your current circumstances and emotions, the pain experienced from what you are enduring will be lessened greatly.”