James Klagge asked Jeff Hobbs:

I don't know if you read your reviews, but mine relates a story somewhat like Robert's. My question is: Have you heard of many other cases like Robert's after publishing this? Does anyone have any sense of how common it is to be able to live with this kind of background without being drowned by it? Thanks for writing this book.

Jeff Hobbs Dear Mr. Klagge - thank you so much for reading and reaching out and I'm sorry for the abdominal delay, which is credited to me being a tech moron and not seeing the alerts. But this is a very important question and I thank you for asking it. Obviously Rob's story is unique, as are we all, and the intention is certainly not to suggest that anyone who feels out of place in college is going to struggle the way he did, and make the decisions he made. At the same time, I interviewed dozen of former classmates and other college graduates who maybe shared threads with Rob's experience -- a fractured family, money, the stress of the city -- and all of them are living successful lives. They own homes, have families and jobs they like. But every single one of them, once the topic came up through Rob, began to share this trauma of isolation that still trails them nearly 15 years after graduating. A lot of grown men and women cried in front of me. I was friends with them in college and I had no idea -- this due to my own obliviousness but also to the fact that they didn't want me to have any idea, because if I did it would suggest that they didn't belong, or maybe that they were whining. Of course they belonged. And if Rob's story can help others enhance their sense of belonging, through empathy and just understanding that we all don't experience each moment the same way, I think Rob would be very glad about that. Thank you again, and wishing you all the best, Jeff

flag