Emily asked Gretchen Rubin:

One of the things I most remember from your blog or book is the idea of gold stars -- the ones you're expecting from your family for doing things but never get. I used to do chores for approval (I had a stepfather who organized and trained us all to do chores, and to do them well). Today, I seem to prize freedom from control or routine above all.... As a result, procrastination and disorganization….Solution?

Gretchen Rubin I remind myself, "I'm doing this for myself. I'm doing this chore, I'm undertaking this task, because it's what I want." That way, I don't feel rebellious; I don't feel resentful; I don't expect anyone else even to notice what I've done. When you're making choices from a sense of freedom, there's no need to resist or rebel.

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