Jennifer Sardam answers “Is she saying to get all of your clothes...”

Ethan asked this question about The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing:

Is she saying to get all of your clothes out onto the floor, and then sort them by category, and then purge by category? I feel like it would be difficult to sort by category if you've just dumped every category of clothing into one big pile.

Jennifer Sardam No, in my experience so far, the book seems to encourage the reader and participant in this minimalist project to go by his or her own guidance system…moreNo, in my experience so far, the book seems to encourage the reader and participant in this minimalist project to go by his or her own guidance system and choose which things to keep based on the feelings he or she gets from each object. This is the first time I've seen advice like this in a book on decluttering, and I LOVE it. Unique and inspiring. This makes sense to me, because -- at least in my own experience -- we often fail to be able to get rid of things, because there is some emotion or mental construct connected with an item ... whether it's the thought that "I might read this book one day," or "It reminds me of my childhood."

For example, she advises to first gather all of the clothing from everywhere in the house -- not just that which is already in the closet or in the drawers of the bedroom dresser ... but EVERY single scrap that's wandering about the resident's home (In fact, she mentions that, with her clients, when they do this exercise together with her, if they forget to bring in an item from another room ... she does not even give them an alibi. The rule is that the item has to go!)

Although it sounds like a gargantuan process, she says you must physically take each garment or accessory in hand and go by the way it makes you feel. If you are not enlivened somehow by it, then it has to go. According to the author, her principles followed closely will result in the participant/reader never backsliding to having to repeat the process all over again. It is supposedly foolproof and maintainable for life.

I am only halfway through the book, but I'm intrigued and hopeful, as I've already gotten into the spirit of it, and I managed to rid myself of two HUGE contractor bags full of Tupperware and kitchen drawer odds and ends, things like unnecessary plastic cups with theme park designs, old chipped plates, etc. (I did all of that BEFORE I realized I was supposed to FIRST begin the entire process with the closet and then move in sequence from there ... whoops!)

I have seen those reality TV shows, and I can tell you that I'm by NO means a hoarder; but I have lived most of my life suffering the frustration of ADHD and the heaviness of feeling/being "chronically disorganized," mostly with books, clothing and loads of "important paperwork" (spending hours upon hours some nights just trying to find that one critical paper for the next day ... ugh, so MUCH wasted energy and time). So this book is a breath of fresh air that I welcome with open arms!

If you are considering buying or reading this book, and it helps, I will sum up the major point that I get from it so far; and that is that we must realize that not everything or everyone is meant to be in our lives for a finite amount of time. We cannot go through a lifetime collecting and keeping everything that "sticks" to us, is given to us, or that we accumulate in some way. Some gifts, no matter how well-meaning, don't fit who we are. Some people are just trying to unload their own tangible crap on us, and that's unfair of them (she goes into that, too -- don't just rid yourself of stuff by giving it to a poor, unsuspecting relative).

The stuff that enters our lives has its defined purpose ... sometimes it's just a fleeting moment to be enjoyed. The greeting card has done its deed when it conveys the feeling of love and warmth across a thousand miles from a loved one; and yet many of us feel compelled to keep them all, carting them from one residence to another, piled in boxes as if the recipient might somehow be secretly notified and then hurt at the moment that we throw them away. If anything, that person would probably be sad that their cards caused so much work instead of joy for the recipient!

Books are often meant to be read when the feeling strikes us to choose them and to immerse ourselves in reading their stories. Years later, their time to be read has passed, and it is okay to donate them to someone else, to move past that nagging feeling that we didn't finish something.

The purpose of the book could have been to convey one simple truth to the owner. That cocktail dress you never really wore? Though you loved seeing it hanging in your closet, a deep satiny blue, beckoning you to the life you dreamed of ... but maybe never quite lived? It's okay to release it, get rid of the guilt of never wearing it. You were changed by it just the same, because possibly it taught you who you were not going to be in this life.

Really, it's okay ... that's what I'm learning from this powerful book ... after 42 years of feeling bad about throwing things away and trying to find better organizing tips or more storage space. Those actions don't fix the problem. They only allow the problems to live on ... deal with your stuff! That's the answer she's giving us here. I think the message here IS truly life-changing as the title implies. Enjoy!(less)

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Jane Brewer Man I’m ADHD and have lived in a state of “Jumbled things all over my house. I had learned to avoid what I could not find a way to fix. I’m so happy w ...more
Apr 30, 2019 01:05PM · flag

Jennifer Sardam Good for you, Jane! I know the pain and frustration of ADHD, and I’m happy to hear the book is helping! I like watching her show now on Netflix, too!
May 01, 2019 11:10AM · flag

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The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

by Marie Kondō (Goodreads Author)

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