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Lorna asked this question about No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us:
so far this is annoying the hell out of me. Does she ever look into what factors cause some women to accept or enter into relationships like this in the first place? I do not believe that a confident women with decent self esteem would get into a relationship with these sorts of men. Her reactions of what occurs seem accurate enough but she seems oblivious to the origins of the victim mentality.
Anna Yikes. What a horrible message to send to women who are survivors of domestic violence: that they must be weak-willed, self-conscious women, or otherw…moreYikes. What a horrible message to send to women who are survivors of domestic violence: that they must be weak-willed, self-conscious women, or otherwise they wouldn't have gotten into this mess in the first place.

Abusers can be extremely charming and charismatic at first, or alternate between charming and intimidating when it suits them, once the victim is firmly in their grasp. And gaslighting is an extremely effective manipulation tactic, even against confident and self-possessed people.

While it's certainly a worthwhile question to ask if poor self-image and domestic violence are linked, the idea that no self-respecting woman would get into an abusive relationship is incredibly myopic and actively feeds the victim-blaming stigma surrounding private violence.(less)
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No Visible Bruises
by Rachel Louise Snyder (Goodreads Author)
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