Leslie Basil Payne
asked
Lora Jones:
You did such an excellent job sharing the pain of your losses with the reader. You gave enough detail to draw the reader into your life and story, but not so much it was overwhelming for the reader. But it was overwhelming in real life - your life. How would you describe your "pain level" now? Is it a constant or does it ebb and flow?
Lora Jones
Thank you for your question Leslie. I read it, sat back in my chair, and thought awhile.
My pain ebbs and flows. Certain times of the year are always more difficult.
During the month of November, my thoughts always review the night of the accident. The images replay in my mind without permission. It usually helps to give permission for awhile, and let my body remember and grieve.
The month of May is also difficult. My son's birthday, our wedding anniversary and Mother's Day, are always only a few days apart. I think Mother's Day is the most difficult for me. Every year I try to make it more about my mother, or about my adopted daughter, but my heart just won't let me. It just hurts.
The rest of the year is better. Most days when something brings them to mind, I can pause and remember with a smile. I might think about what they would have said/done in the situation I am in - or I might remember something from the past. I miss them dearly, but I have hope.
Several years ago I stood at the ocean with a friend. She watched the tide lap at our feet and she said, "Grief is like the ocean. Sometimes it just gently laps at your toes, and sometimes it knocks you over with a tidal wave." Yep. She's right.
My pain ebbs and flows. Certain times of the year are always more difficult.
During the month of November, my thoughts always review the night of the accident. The images replay in my mind without permission. It usually helps to give permission for awhile, and let my body remember and grieve.
The month of May is also difficult. My son's birthday, our wedding anniversary and Mother's Day, are always only a few days apart. I think Mother's Day is the most difficult for me. Every year I try to make it more about my mother, or about my adopted daughter, but my heart just won't let me. It just hurts.
The rest of the year is better. Most days when something brings them to mind, I can pause and remember with a smile. I might think about what they would have said/done in the situation I am in - or I might remember something from the past. I miss them dearly, but I have hope.
Several years ago I stood at the ocean with a friend. She watched the tide lap at our feet and she said, "Grief is like the ocean. Sometimes it just gently laps at your toes, and sometimes it knocks you over with a tidal wave." Yep. She's right.
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