Oh, he's real. I've seen him. He was foraging beside Route 495. It was early in the morning. He had found a bag of McDonald's trash someone had littered out the window. I remember hoping he'd find some chicken McNuggets or something. Maybe some fries. It was sad to see such a noble beast forced to scavenge by the side of the road. I've done a lot of things in my life I'm not proud of, but I never disparaged a Sasquatch.