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Bonnie G.
That is the entire point, that is what haunts him. Anyone who has loved a mentally ill person has a cache of those memories, where they shut down the person who is mean and drains every ounce of energy, but who needed them at the moment. I can tell you I have a moment like that I think about every single day of my life, and my dear friend has been dead 8 years.
Cathy O'Neal
I have to confess that I have a similar sister. I had to remove myself from her and her circumstances a long time ago for my own sanity and my own safety. It sounds harsh, I know. But when I came to that part, I thought to myself, "I would have done the very same thing." It is sad. But sometimes necessary. No one can understand it until they have lived it.
Ali
You're not alone. After I read, "Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002" I reached the conclusion that his demons run very dark and very deep. The passage regarding Tiffany (in "Calypso") reinforced my feelings. I enjoy his early works but I've had a different take on his humor over the years. There are times I can't laugh with him and times I refuse to laugh at him.
Karen
I gasped a bit when I read it. Like Helen said in the other comment, I had to go back and read it again to make sure I understood it correctly. I think I was a bit surprised at the action as I never thought he was like that. But none of his readers really know the relationship he had with her so obviously it was pretty bad for him to do that. And like he did write, he was over all her drama. Still sad, though.
Andrea
Yes! It's very upsetting and haunting. It seemed so cold that it almost made me not like him. But there's so much we don't know about the history between him and his sister, and I have never been in a relationship like that, so I'm not judging. Really, what incredible vulnerability he shows, to include this in his book.
Deb
I've just finished the book and I too was shocked. The whole thing about Tiffany seemed strange as the rest of the family seem so close-knit. How did she slip through the cracks?
How to deal with mental health issues in ourselves or others is not something we're taught and we can be overwhelmed with a sense of impotency when we try. It can't have been easy for David to write about. Sometimes there is nothing you can do for the other person and you need to protect yourself.
How to deal with mental health issues in ourselves or others is not something we're taught and we can be overwhelmed with a sense of impotency when we try. It can't have been easy for David to write about. Sometimes there is nothing you can do for the other person and you need to protect yourself.
Sarah
It was shocking and seemed cruel of him but I appreciate his honesty. He did that. He made no excuses for it and also didn't apologize either so you're left with how to reconcile it. At first I thought it sounded really cruel but who's to say he didn't have to keep his cool just before going on stage. You can't get involved in an emotional conversation with a difficult family member in the middle of your job when people are coming to see you. Maybe he could have handled it better but like I said I appreciate his honesty and how he writes honestly about moments like this. As others have said it does normalize the experience of handling mental illness. If he tried to explain it away maybe people who've also been in a similar situation wouldn't identify with the experience as much.
Marilyn Di Carlo-Ames
It was very heavy, but it's all about setting safe boundaries for survival when someone you love hurts you so deeply for so long. It's the opposite of enabling. He had to have her turned away or he would not have been able to function at his reading. He would have had a mini breakdown.
Barb
Yes, it was a shock to me. I keep pondering how difficult it was to clearly, unemotionally state that episode for the world to see.
Barbara Hausman
Yes, and it reminded me of the scene in The Godfather where Michael Corleone coldly and without comment shuts the door on his ex-wife Kay's face when he catches her visiting their children behind his back. That's a hardening of the heart that I hope I never have.
Alex Thomas
It killed me! I wanted to know what she had for him. And I'm certain that he reflects often on that moment as a time when if he hadn't shut her out, she may not have committed suicide.
Marshall
Yes, but that was definitely the point.
Kumari de Silva
It's shocking because he's obviously left out numerous far too painful to relate incidents that led to the complete disintegration of the relationship. But what to do? If he'd included lots of incidents and stories that make Tiffany look crazy, difficult, and addiction-prone then he would come off like a bastard speaking ill of a person not around to defend herself. Nonetheless I think he included that part about the last brush off to explain in more depth Amy's visit to the psychic. . .
yeah, it sounds unbelievably cold - but as others have already said - if you've lived it you get it, and if you haven't lived it, you can't understand
yeah, it sounds unbelievably cold - but as others have already said - if you've lived it you get it, and if you haven't lived it, you can't understand
David Sheward
I have a feeling there is more to this story than he includes. There was probably a long history of difficult behavior on Tiffany's part that David does not go into detail about.
Nancy
Yes, and I am glad you brought up this point. Many people have offered some insightful comments.
Rick
I was shocked and dismayed. I know we all need to understand more about the relationship. But it haunts me a bit to think about.
Rosalind
I did feel "weird" when I first heard him tell this story, and decided I didn't like him much. In reading Calypso though, I realize in his humorous way, he tries to educate with this story. He makes no apologies for anything that he's done, but is honest about himself - good or bad. I am enjoying reading Calypso. Although at first, I asked myself, why am I reading this book? I've come to the conclusion that David Sedaris is like an onion - lots of layers with a strong smell, but for me, I like the taste. LOL
Jay Steinberg
It took a great deal of courage to include that memory, his last of his sister while she was still living. You have to understand that he's haunted by this searing experience. He doesn't skim over his own human failings. He puts himself under the microscope, too. It actually makes me respect him more.
Bana
It kind of blew me away! At first I didn't like this but I realize how real and raw this book is. We don't know all the details of what happened between him and his siblings. I felt like I related to so much of their lives, even down to taking items from the dad and tossing them later.
Natalie
Yes, it was hard to understand. He shut the door in her face and talked about her shoes, what could have made him do that?I wish he had talked about why he did not want to talk to her. It was really difficult to justify and if he was willing to talk about it, you think he would have supplied more qualifying information-for the reader. Maybe he did not do this because he can not forgive himself because now she is dead and his reason for doing it was not a good enough one, it is his cross to bear forever
Karen
Thank you for sharing.
Helen
Yes, I definitely did. I had to reread that paragraph a few times to be sure I got it right.
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