Victoria answers “Does anyone else think elliot was raped?”

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Frannie Cheska asked this question about Love and Other Words:

Does anyone else think elliot was raped?

Victoria I really so upset by this. I wish I had been more mentally prepared going into this book especially because it is already such a sad book. It ruined t…moreI really so upset by this. I wish I had been more mentally prepared going into this book especially because it is already such a sad book. It ruined the book for me now that I’ve finished it.

I loved it up until the authors did not make clear that Elliot’s “cheating” was him being raped. As a rape survivor it bothers me a LOT that they frame it ambiguously as cheating (clearly ambiguous because the vast majority of reviewers seem to think of it as cheating) even though it was rape or at minimum non-consensual (if both Elliot and Emma were unable to consent) based on his explanations of what happened. This kind of ambiguity is so entrenched in our culture that so many of us don’t realize we’re raped in situations with people we know/have had past sexual interactions with.

One of my biggest rape PTSD triggers is when something is "ambiguous" so many other people don't think of it as rape (because that is related to my own understanding of how I was raped). I also keep getting intrusive thoughts about the scene where Macey sees Elliot and Emma in the bed because it is so graphically described.

Reading the reviews and responses has been very triggering, because many many people think it was "cheating", and that is entirely the fault of the authors' ambiguity. I really wish the authors could edit the book in a new edition so when Elliot explains his "mistake" it is no longer framed as a mistake and either he or Macey clearly describes it as rape/sexual assault, and that Elliot has more space to process that or at least if they can add an explainer in the beginning or end of the book clarifying this.

Also for the people who read it and still think it was not rape, PLEASE read why it is: (1) Elliot was unable to consent PERIOD because he was highly intoxicated and passed out. (2) He only consented to having sex with Macey, NOT with Emma. The whole time he thought it was Macey. Consent is only valid for what you're actually consenting to. It does not matter if you "encouraged" the other person (as some readers seem to think make it not rape/cheating) or if you were physically aroused or even if you had an orgasm. It does not make it less of a rape. (3) ALSO in response to a reply I saw somewhere, he did not need to say no for it to be rape.(less)

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Love and Other Words

by Christina Lauren (Goodreads Author)

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