Nicole Sok answers “This book is disgusting to me. I do not...”

Patricia Barry asked this question about Educated:

This book is disgusting to me. I do not understand why an educated and worldly individual would have difficulty understanding the horrible and violent upbringing that she experienced. It is unbelievable to me that she could not understand the violent situation, yet uneducated upbringing she endured. I have completely misunderstood her manner of education in a life in our country, in this country, how is this possible?

Nicole Sok This book sheds light on what it's like to be raised in a dysfunctional, abusive household. A child's upbringing wires their brains for how to perceiv…moreThis book sheds light on what it's like to be raised in a dysfunctional, abusive household. A child's upbringing wires their brains for how to perceive the world, how to understand family, and how to feel loved. When that foundational upbringing is as broken as hers, an outsider stares in disbelief while the person raised in it knows every step of that dysfunctional dance. They know the part they play because playing that part well, dancing the dance steps is part of what they did and do to keep themselves safe. It is hard to unlearn that, and as she notes time and time again, she truly wanted to believe the best about her family, even when they proved her wrong time and time again. A college education does not erase a person's need for family. I am so happy for everyone who reads this book and doesn't get it--your upbringing was clearly something that hers wasn't. But her struggle as a truly educated woman to make sense of her family story is one that so many individuals face--even people who did go to school and the doctor, even people who weren't raised in a fundamentalist household. Education gives perspective, and that perspective helps a person to separate from the abuse, but it does not erase the mark of dysfunction and abuse on a person's life(less)

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