Maelanie answers “I don't feel the most comfortable asking...”

Ellie asked this question about Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race:

I don't feel the most comfortable asking this question but I'm asking because this is a topic I don't tend to read about much out of, again, discomfort. Not because I can't accept what my ancestors did, more because I'm worried about the chance I might disagree with some of it. My question is, does this book require you to agree with all of it's views to be enjoyable or is it a good discussion piece in it's own right?

Maelanie There is ‘what is,’ and then there is what we envision “should be.” This duality is at the core of most of our sorrows. There are the inner conflicts:…moreThere is ‘what is,’ and then there is what we envision “should be.” This duality is at the core of most of our sorrows. There are the inner conflicts: the image we have of ourselves, the image we want others to have of us, and then there is what actually is, who we really are; and too, there are outer conflicts in our impersonal, platonic or romantic relationships; and also what is known as “society,” and the global divisions of nations, creeds, political factions, wealthy poor, race, so on, so on.

That being said, there is no “accept” or not accept; there’s no “agree” or disagree to ‘what is’—truth just is.

The amazing thing is that these relationships are mirrors to see who we really are; and it is only fear of seeing who we are, and the failure to face and accept ‘what is’ that drives a lot of hatred. Divisiveness produces conflict, conflict leads to violence, and violence is war (be it between boss and laborer; spouses; parent and child; siblings; co-workers; neighbors; customer and cashier; wealthy and servants).

These are fears, and they are conditioned psychological reactions, they are immature and ultimately weak. And most of these fears are based on mere beliefs, myths, superstitions, traditions, opinions, or personal experiences; not necessarily facts in evidence.

Just because something makes us uncomfortable does not make it any less true.

What we need to look at, what we must find out is, why?; why does that truth make us want to runaway? Self-awareness is wisdom, and to “see the truth in the false is freedom,” it is intelligence.

Maybe change is not forthcoming, but nothing will change unless it is faced.(less)

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Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race

by Reni Eddo-Lodge

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