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July 14 - July 17, 2024
very famous asexual headcanon giant, the great Sherlock Holmes, as written by the legendary Sir Arthur Conan Doyle,
“How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?”
“So it’s just about not experiencing attraction—” “Sexual attraction. You can experience other kinds of attraction. Aesthetic. Romantic. Emotional. Sensual.”
I knew I was different.
didn’t understand what I was. But I could clearly see what I was not.
No matter what age you are, you know what you’re feeling.
While it’s wonderful that you’ve started this journey early, you’re still just at the beginning of it. Stay flexible. Stay open-minded.
Know what you know until you know something new.
Identity just doesn’t work that way. People change and grow and discover new things about themselves.
We all have moments when we resist the truth of ourselves.
Asexuality is a perfectly normal, perfectly acceptable, and perfectly valid human experience.
“How can I treat myself with love and kindness?” “How can I better accept myself for who I am?” “How can I learn to love who I am?”
It’s hard work, to be sure. But the hard work is worth it. And you deserve that work. You deserve that self-love and self-acceptance.
“There’s a moment that feels completely unbelievable and overwhelming,” he told me. “You, alone, know something that no one else in the world knows.
We make sense to ourselves. We’re empowered by that knowledge.
implications of knowing this complete, authentic version of ourselves creep in.
Coming out is scary. It invites a kind of scrutiny that can be difficult to deal with.
Coming out can fundamentally change our relationships with certain people, and sometimes even end them.
The journey of self-discovery isn’t universal for everyone. That journey doesn’t require specific steps to be valid. And your journey doesn’t have to match someone else’s
Why does coming out matter? I have always been a really strong advocate of coming out.
Both coming-out experiences were challenging, but ultimately both experiences helped me become a stronger, happier, and more complete version of myself.
Coming out celebrates who you are
if you don’t tell them who you are, then who is it they’re loving and supporting?”
And if you let them love an illusion, you are deciding you want to live an illusion.
When we choose to stay in the closet, we’re agreeing to let the world know and love a version of ourselves that’s constructed, made up, an illusion.
when those parts of us shine, they shine. They’re the truth.
The world may give you a hard time, but stepping into the world as everything you are, everything you can be, and everything you will be can be absolutely worth it.
My fear of rejection. My fear of ridicule. My fear of the people I loved changing the way they looked at me or treated me.
You can’t be it if you don’t see it.
Being out doesn’t just announce who you are to the world. It also announces what’s possible for others.
You demonstrate what you are and what is possible.
Coming out doesn’t just allow you to live your truth. It creates a space where living a truth like yours becomes possible for someone else.
When we come out and let our true selves shine, that light sometimes reaches people who are still ...
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Our light, our shine helps them see themselves. It gives them permiss...
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You might be the only asexual person someone else has ever met or seen.
You might be the first person to clearly explain the ace experience to someone. Your visibility might change the way someone else sees their own identity.
We change the world for ace folks one person at a time. It might not seem like much, but it’s a superpower.
The right time to come out is whenever you’re ready.
We come out because we want to be seen. We come out because we want to be known.
Be in control of how you come out Do you know how I told my parents I was gay? I wrote a letter.
I’ve finally reached a point in my life where what I am is something I can accept and be proud of. It has been a victory for me, and I hope you both can share in that victory.
going to be too scared to actually say the words in person. I’d stumble and backtrack. Or I’d simply not say anything and chicken out completely. A letter wouldn’t stumble. A letter wouldn’t chicken out. A letter would let me say all the things I wanted and needed to say.
It was also important that I was able to share it on my own terms.
Think of each coming out as a step forward. Not the final destination.
Find the joy in being who you are
My asexuality has helped me understand myself more completely.
it’s my asexuality that’s connected me with all of you, my community, my big, chaotic ace family. There’s a lot of joy there.
Find that joy in being who you are. You’re not going to get rid of the nerves or the fear or the uncertainty. They’re along for the ride. But you can make sure they’re riding shotgun to joy.
The joy of realizing you aren’t broken or deficient or wrong—just ace.
Coming out means stepping into the world as someone new.
