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“This one’s mine.” I’m just gawking at him, totally stunned, as he whispers, “You have to pin it on me, baby.”
“What… What is this?”
“Thank you for coming to prom with me, Avi.”
“You did this…?” I glance around at the lights. “I know… pretty corny,” he huffs. “Uh-uh.” I shake my head firmly, and he peeks at me. “It’s fucking perfect, Kyran.”
But I love it. I don’t even care, I’m in fucking love with it, because I’m in love with him, and fuck, I can’t believe I ever thought I could stop it from happening.
“Jesus, this is gonna make me sound so pathetic, but… the only reason I’m here in the first place is… because of you.”
“Tell me what you’re saying…” “I’m saying…”
“It was never for the money, or for BC… Or for the fans. It was for you, Kyran. For fucking you, and that’s it. Every
single thing I did… I did for you. ...
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“But the truth is that it could have been anyone in those videos with me. But I wanted you. I think I have for a long time… I didn’t understand it, but you hating me just made me want to chase you. And then you started coming to me. And you’re just the best, most unexpected thing that’s ever showed up at my door.”
“I don’t think I can fight it anymore, Avi…” My breathing shallows. “Fight what?” “Us…”
“Baby, I think I’m in love...
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“Say it back, Avi. Don’t be a jerk.”
“Just let me revel in this a little more…”
“I’m in love with you,” I murmur, and his body shudders in my hands. “And I’m pretty sure I have been since the moment we met.”
“Tell me the truth…” I rasp, and his head tilts. “Did you come in your pants that night at Frankie’s because of me?”
“I thought you were gonna kiss me…”
“I fucking knew I should have, baby,”
“I can’t believe you’re even talking about telling people.” He shook his head while he straightened my tie. “I’m in no rush for anything, baby. I just wanna be with you. Nothing else matters.”
“My head is spinning, baby. Is this real? Tell me I’m not dreaming…”
“I think I’m the one who should be asking you that… ’Cause this has been real for me for a while. No offense, but I’ve been waiting for you to catch up.”
“I know… I’m sorry I was pushing you away for so long.” “You’re worth...
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“I’m kinda scared.”
“You have every right to be,”
“I told you last night, Kyran… No one has to know anything until you’re ready. I don’...
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“So you’re saying… I’m your first?”
“Yes, baby. You’re my first. And I’m yours.”
“I’m so yours…”
I’m gay, and I’m in love with my stepbrother. There it is. Wow… This must be what really great drugs feel like.
It’s fucking insane… I’m a grown man. I don’t need anyone to fawn over me. Yet when Avi does it, it makes me feel so special. Like I’m being cherished by someone who loves me as a man, not just a football player, a student, or an… object.
Avi’s always been able to read me; to see through my bullshit. It’s how he knew I didn’t really hate him, how he knew exactly what my body wanted when my head just wouldn’t let up.
“Kyran…” His tone is soft, but insistent. And I already know what he’s going to say. “You’re gonna kiss me, aren’t you?” I murmur. He nods. “I don’t think I can help it…”
“Then do it.” I slide my hands onto his thigh. “Please
Wow… Who knew kissing a guy in public could feel so… exhilarating.
“Holy fucking shit…” Bridget gasps, startling me when her palms slap down on the table. “I knew it! I knew you guys were a thing!”
“You didn’t know shit.” “I so did!” she squeals. “No offense, but it’s pretty obvious. You’re both smitten.”
“Are not,” I grunt petulantly. “Y...
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“I am.” Avi shrugs, and when I glare at him, he winks at me, leaning in closer. “I told you, baby… I’m obsessed with you.”
“Look at him trying to hide it!” Bridget shimmies in her seat. “Baby bro… You’re in love!”
“I’m just so happy for you. You have no idea how ecstatic I am that you’re finally feeling comfortable enough with who you are to be with someone.”
“You’re the only one, baby,” I whisper to him, my voice shaking a little. “I promise.”
“I’m sorry… You know that’s not what I meant, Ky,” she says. “I’m just happy you’re happy. That’s it.”
I can’t really speak. I’m quivering too hard, clinging to everything about him in this moment. The fact that he always seems to find me when I need him the most, no matter how much I push him away.
I picked the absolute worst time to quit smoking. After Kyran admitted his feelings for me, I decided it was time. I don’t want to dull my senses anymore… I want to experience every single second of being in love with him. Because I’ve never been in love before, and being in it with Kyran Harbor is like going on a tour of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. You want to be fully present so you don’t miss out on any of the wonder…
Over the years, I’ve relied heavily on smoking mass amounts of weed in order to combat my anxiety. Turns out, I was numbing myself so much, I wasn’t even sure if I could feel anything
But the thing I’ve come to realize is… some anxiety is good. It’s normal. You’re supposed to feel things. We’re made to feel all emotions, good and bad. And I guess it took falling for Kyran to realize I don’t mind feeling the
bad sometimes, if it means I get to truly bask in the ...
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Football is his destiny. And cards on the table, I will gladly follow him wherever he goes. If he wants me to…
You’re exactly what my brother needs. Someone supportive and patient, who’s gonna love him no matter what. Someone who calls him on his bullshit and loves the stubborn out of him.”
“But mostly, someone who will stay by his side. He doesn’t need to be abandoned any more…”
