Revive Me, Part One: The Act (New Haven, #2)

by J.L. Seegars

Everything—including the buttery soft t-shirts, matching leggings, and lacy boy shorts—is in my size. I hold a pair that’s fire engine red up at him and arch a brow.

“We didn’t. I gave her my card and asked her to pick some stuff out for you to have at my place.”

“You, princess. Your happiness. Your safety. Your well-being. I take it all very seriously.”

I don’t want, or need, the full story to know I want her.

All she needs right now is somewhere to feel safe and secure, and even if I can’t ever be all the things I want to be to her, I’m at least going to be that.

“I know, baby,” I whisper, the words leaving my lips on a rough exhale. “What can I do? Tell me what you need.” “Hold me.”

Mal lets out a soft sigh, like laying here on my chest is bringing her the kind of peace people like us can only hope to find in our dreams, and my heart pounds, smacking against my ribcage while I try to even out my breathing.

“Please don’t let me go.” “I don’t want to hurt you.” “You won’t.”

Chris didn’t mention it, but when I took my shower last night I noticed that he also had Sloane pick up all of the toiletries I use. There was even a brand new bonnet waiting for me on the counter beside my toothbrush, extra large to fit all my curls. When I climbed in his bed last night, I felt safe and comfortable, and I was touched that he’d gone through so much trouble to make sure I would be if worst came to worst.

Should I just sit here and stare at him, obsessing over the way he licks his lips after every few bites, treating me to flashes of his tongue that make me want to kiss him just so I can have the chance to suck on it?

“Would you want to go?” Chris is asking now, eyes searching my face. “With me?”

When you say yes, not if. I like how sure he is, how certain he is of the amount of thought he’s put into this,

My heart does a flip in my chest, and I have to fight to keep myself from jumping out of my seat and kissing him.

All I hear is he wants to make me happy, and that thought coupled with what he said yesterday about taking my happiness seriously has things happening in my core that shouldn’t be possible after everything that happened last night. I never would have thought that vulnerability would have deepened my attraction to Chris, but it has.

There’s an earnestness in his expression that touches me deep down in my soul,

Before this moment, I never knew what it felt like to have someone do something just to see me smile.

The only time I get a break, the only reprieve I have, is when I’m with Mallory. Talking to her, laughing with her, touching the smooth skin of her cheek and fantasizing about caressing her in other places, watching her bite the supple flesh of her bottom lip while I memorize every curve of her frame.

The urge to be around her is so strong,

I scan Mallory’s face, noting the way her eyes move from my face to the bed behind us, and comes back again. She bites her lip, and I drop my gaze to the base of her throat where her pulse is throbbing. I want to dip my tongue into that hollow place, to drink her sweat from it, and sink my teeth into her collar bone while pleasure pours from her lips.

I’m sure it was all delicious, but I was too focused on her to taste any of it.

“You really think I could forget you?”

“Of course, I’m actually very funny when I’m comfortable around a person.” My heart flips as my brain tries to process the meaning behind her words. The hidden potential soaks into my bones, under my skin where I’ve worked to keep my hope for our future under wraps.

“Oh.” I clear my throat, pushing a response out past the lump forming there. “And I’m one of those people now?” There’s barely a second between my question and her response. “Yes,” she says. “You are.”

I’m afraid that nothing between us will have changed even though everything has for me.

“Your smile is gift enough.”

“It’s more than nice, Mallory. Your smile is the thing I want most in the world. I spend every waking moment trying to find new ways to get you to give it to me. I wish for it on every shooting star and repeating number on a clock.”

Long fingers thread through mine until his fingertips are brushing my knuckles. “I’ll probably spend the rest of my life wishing for it to always be mine.”

“Not fake, princess. Real. Everything I feel for you, everything I want with you is real.”

“I’ve always wanted you, Chris. I’ve never been more sure about anything, about anyone, in my entire life.”

“Really? You didn’t seem moved by that kiss at all, meanwhile, my entire world was turned upside down.”

I’ll do any and everything in my power to keep them. To keep you.”

“Perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy to be someone’s boyfriend.”

“Mallory,” I say, tone serious even though I want to smile. I love when she’s happy like this, comfortable enough to crack jokes and laugh, even at herself.

my cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing along with her. Her joy permeates the room, piercing everything around it including me, and I lean down to kiss her just because I can.

Mallory Kent could ask me for the moon, and I’d find a way to get it for her. She could ask me for the stars, and I’d steal them from the sky. She could ask for my heart, and, well….she already has that. She just doesn’t know it yet.

She’s greedy and demanding. Beautiful and dangerous. And mine. All fucking mine, so I do as she asks.

I listen to the sound, allowing it to lull me to sleep. And when I wake in the morning to the sound of my alarm and Mallory’s soft snoring, I realize that for the first time in forever, I slept through the night. No nightmares. No strangled cries from my mother’s ghost. Just the peaceful perfection of a heart that’s finally found its home.

I’m frustrated and horny and in love with this stupid man who won’t reap the benefits of the trust he worked so hard to earn.

“It is a job, princess.” Chris’ eyes glow. Frustration etched in his features as he thumps his chest. “Keeping you safe? Making sure you’re okay at all times? It is a job, and it’s my fucking job. One I signed on for long before you knew you were mine. One I’ll keep doing even if one day, down the road, you decide I’m no longer fit for the role.” His nostrils flare. “You’re not just my girlfriend, Mallory. You’re my mission. My purpose. The only thing in my life I can’t afford to fail at, so forgive me if I don’t give a fuck about what another man in my position would do because I can guarantee you there isn’t a man in this world who….”

“Loves you.” He swallows. “There isn’t a man in this world who loves you like I do.”

“Even then?” I can’t believe how genuine his tone is when he says, “Always, princess.”

“Was that not clear when I agreed to be your fake girlfriend?” “Oh, no, it was. I was just hoping to hear you say it again.”

His warm gaze follows the motion of my hands as I flip the chain to the other side, revealing a small inscription in slanted font I recognize as his handwriting. There, etched in the shining metal, are our names and words that make me laugh and cry for the second time today: MAL AND CHRIS 4EVA.

AHHHHHHHBH

There’s only her. And in this lifetime and every one after it, that’s all there will ever be for me. Amber eyes that see into my soul. Lush curves I’ve made my home. Smooth mahogany skin that glitters like stardust. Long elegant fingers that one day, when she’s ready and I’m braver than I am right now, will be adorned with my rings.

I cave because I need her.

That even when I feel like I have no one, I have her.

Ones where the emotion in the photos matches the things we say and feel. I want more of those moments with her.

Actually, I want more of everything. The warm glow of happiness. The heated passion. The sad and quiet and everything in between. Whatever life looks like with Mallory, is what I want,

Celeste was my best friend and the love of my life,

“Princess,” he says, using a tone that admonishes me for even asking him that kind of question. “You’re the only thing I have that’s worth keeping.”