A Daddy for the Chubby Omega (Daddies for Dumpster Omegas, #1)

by Anna Wineheart

he brushed his lips over it, and the sharp points of his teeth grazed that same spot.

this is the extent of the description of a claim mark being given. i have to listen to the same two conversations rotate around these bipedal mutants' heads like human shit in a microwave, but the two hallmarks of omegaverse - heat and claim biting - we just breeze through like a fart on the wind. elon musk built his rockets with anna wineheart's philosophy on cutting corners.

Caulin checked to see that Otto really wanted this. When his alpha waited patiently for him to continue, he took a deep breath and bit down hard, breaking skin. Otto groaned. “Fuck. That really feels good.”

imagine being the front desk nurse watching this

“Caulin Stewart?” a nurse said.

ew, was that his name the whole time? and none of his bullies called him sewer??????? put me in coach, I'll do it myself

It wasn’t long before they had the machine set up, and the ultrasound wand pressed against Caulin’s belly, the black-and-white speckles resolving into a vague human-like shape. Next to him, Otto gripped his hand. “That’s our baby.”

I'm sorry, is this your first ultrasound? right after caulin reveals it's been like, twenty-something weeks???? and you're BOTH supposed to be men of science???????????

THE MOST AWKWARD WEDDING

let's fucking goooo. I can't wait to see why this was the breaking point for other people. it had better be breathtaking

At thirty-six weeks along, Caulin spent the night before the wedding at Murphy’s brother-in-law Phinny’s mansion, with the other Dumpster Omegas.

what a disheartening sentence. this probably goes so hard if you were raised in a gutter in New Jersey.

Landon chuckled tiredly. “It can always be worse, where Emmy is concerned.” “Hey!” Emmy elbowed Landon in the ribs. “It can always be better. Fixed that for you.”

the only future I see for emmy is lifeless in a ditch somewhere. gone but not forgotten 🕊

Emmy spread his arms. “Look! I’m doing as fine as a rat on pancakes. You don’t have to get your buttcheeks all twisted up.

I'm convinced this whole book took place in a garage with the big door down, car idling. emmy sucked on the pipe directly, due to his efficiency mindset

Caulin trembled as his friends helped him out of the car. Murphy and Wes grabbed his dress train to hold it above the grass, and Emmy clutched Caulin’s arm. “Remember,” Emmy hissed urgently. “Don’t beat on your belly like a drum.”

hit after hit of pure car exhaust

“Sure glad I took a day off from chasing robbers,” Varrick said with his hands over Otto’s eyes.

and kicking murder victims? or is that a special occasion only sort of thing

Otto was dressed in a three-piece black suit that accentuated his muscles, and he looked absolutely amazing.

I'm not convinced Anna Wineheart understands why or how people who are attracted to men find them attractive. this is the equivalent of Michelangelo's attempts to put tits on a woman

“Huh,” Emmy said thoughtfully. “I thought all police are bad.” “Varrick seems like a good one. He didn’t even try to save JC.”

from another fucking planet, bro

“Maybe you should let him fuck you in front of everybody,” Emmy said. “Then everyone will know you’re claimed.”

no fucking way this was emmy's idea. he really should get with the cop; they're both a cancer to society

“You can’t touch him until you’re married!” Otto groaned. “Damn it.” “Maybe you should’ve thought this wedding thing through,” Gardner said. “We can start the ceremony now, right?” Caulin asked. “I’m ready.”

what is sexual discipline, anyway? Just a bunch of noise, dude

Everyone cheered when Otto helped Caulin down onto his seat; Caulin could barely even see where he was going these days, his belly so swollen in front of him.

if you're noticing THAT significant of a change, then were you really that fat to begin with? 🤔

“Uptight policeman,” Emmy muttered so quietly that Caulin was certain Varrick hadn’t heard.

I can truly only think of one thing more odious than the pairing in this book, and it's emmy/some fucking crooked cop shithead. compels me, though

Then he set the plate in front of himself, and scooped Caulin onto his lap.

I can't go through the "scooping an adult man" thing again. it's just too painful.

“Plans for tonight?” Gardner asked. “You know, the usual,” Otto said thickly.

normal conversation on a human's wedding day

“You okay?” Gardner asked. “He just wants me to feed him,” Otto growled, tucking some roast beef into Caulin’s mouth.

while he's stroking his shit no less. burp some sausage into his face next

musk wafted from his skin. But a breeze blew that scent away from the table.

ah yes, classically in omegaverse, scent is one of the weaker senses

Emmy turned cheerfully back to them. “So, how does it feel to be married?” “Full,” Caulin blurted. And then he wanted to smack himself. At least he wasn’t saying, My alpha is inside me right now.

yeah, because that would be awkward!

Why didn’t all newlyweds do this at their weddings?

public sex in front of all your loved ones? it's a mystery

He buried himself deep and lifted Caulin by his underarms, leaving the reception area.

the mental image of this big bitch in a giant cheap wedding dress being shoved face down onto a table so his husband can visibly fuck him in front of everyone they know, then hauled up by the armpits with a wiener still in him being hustled out of the reception hall like a toddler that just shit its pants....... consider me bald

Otto found a large tree and bent Caulin over against it,

not even a closet or something?? a tree?????

And his knot began to swell, locking them together.

NOW? NOW??? NOW IS WHEN YOU KNOT?? AGAINST THE TREE??????

“Shall we return to the festivities?” “Now?” “Why not?” “We’re still knotted!” “And they’ve already seen worse.” Otto huffed. “I doubt they’ll be surprised by much else we do.” “Well... I’d feel bad for leaving them for so long,” Caulin agreed hesitantly.

Hey. hey. logistics matter. Just in general, but definitely in writing. how in god's name would this work, anna?

“I can’t believe we’re only going home now,” Otto sighed as they pulled out of the lakeside parking lot. “You’d think, for a day so important, people would want the newlyweds to go home and consummate their marriage.”

well you just went ahead and did it in front of half the town, so

At a stoplight, he rubbed Caulin’s round belly, tracing his wrist over it.

I'm taking wrists away until Anna learns at least one sexy thing or one authentically sweet thing, and I have to see evidence

The Dumpster Omegas had spent a good hour arranging all the letters, double-checking the spelling, before painstakingly sticking them onto Caulin’s belly in neat rows. Toward the end, the words had gotten crammed together—Emmy had overestimated the amount of space they had.

those children would be devastated if they could read

Caulin: I’m having contractions, they’re happening kinda fast Wes: That’s soon Caulin: Should we be worried? Wes: Idk, you could be going into labor early.

I'm mentally tacking an lol at the end

Caulin: I hope he’s ok, wherever he is Landon: He’ll tell you to clench your buttcheeks in case the baby falls out “Gods,” Caulin muttered, clenching his muscles. “I don’t want our baby to fall out!”

where is this person's caregiver

“Do you think your water broke?” “I don’t know if I can tell. It’s full of slick and, um. Maybe a bit of your come. Oh, gods. Imagine when the midwife checks it at the hospital.” Otto rumbled. “Everyone will know you’ve been properly claimed.”

🤢

Otto growled and leaned in, kissing Caulin full on the lips. Their kisses went better now—they’d figured out how to stop saliva from dripping everywhere, and every kiss seemed even better than the previous one.

is this what the kids are calling the torment nexus?

Caulin’s spirits lifted. He accepted the flowers, sniffing at each of them. “I wonder what our baby will end up smelling like.”

say these things to someone out loud before you put them in a book, I beg

The midwife came in to check on Caulin; she pulled on a pair of gloves, and reached into him. Otto growled loud enough to fill the room. “Honestly,” the midwife sniped. “You alphas always regress into the Stone Age whenever this happens!”

well I'll be honest lady, that sounded pretty presumptuous to me

The midwife rolled her eyes and left the room.

crazy how a male doctor that was mentioned in passing as a memory of the past all of once got a name, but multiple female doctors who pop up in the present don't

“I want to tell you to push, so badly,” Otto growled. “But it’s not the right thing to do.” “Try pushing a huge melon out your ass,” Caulin hissed. “That’s what it feels like.” “Perhaps one day, I will.”

where's that jpeg of the fish from SpongeBob spinning around at his table at the krusty krab

Caulin clutched at Otto, pushing, pushing, pushing, until their baby finally slid out of him, and all he knew was relief.

imagining this like a nature documentary

“Welcome to this world, Hans. We’ve been waiting for you.”

noooo not hans!!

Caulin burst into tears. It was too much—Otto with his overflowing love, and the baby they’d made together, finally out in this world. “What’s wrong?” Otto asked, concerned.

I just wanna say, here at the end of the road, that it's actually insane how many times in this book Caulin has just burst into tears and Otto stares at him like a gorilla on the other side of the plexiglass

Caulin sighed. “They’ll be more interested when they get older, I think. Stars are not something they can hold in their hands right now.” Otto sighed along with him. “I was just hoping...” “I know.” Caulin gave his alpha a quick hug. “One day.”

you already got one child obsessed with you into stars, so what do you need your kids to be interested for?

On the side, Caulin was taking more classes; they’d been discussing the possibility of him becoming Otto’s teaching assistant at some point in the future, possibly when the children were spending more time in school. And in the distant future, Caulin might become a professor, too.

so future generations will be in capable hands

“So this next heat that comes up... we’re going to try however many times it takes. To put my marking inside you again.”

rewrite. sounds strange.

Otto traced his wrists all over Caulin, and when the children caught sight of it, they came running over, Hans still with his firefly cupped in his hands. “Me! Me!” they said. Otto grinned and ran his wrists over their heads and shoulders, too. “That’s all my love you’re wearing.”

do NOT piss me off!!!!!