A Daddy for the Chubby Omega (Daddies for Dumpster Omegas, #1)

by Anna Wineheart

Besides, Caulin still didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life. He’d never thought about it beyond following his beloved professor around.

🫢

And maybe, on the side... he’d figure out what he wanted to do, aside from being a dad.

classically, the best time to find yourself is when you're a stay-at-home parent to a small child.

On it were words like Kind and Sweet and Perfect and Intelligent and Sizzling, and every day, on his way out of the door, Caulin would stop to soak in those words in his alpha’s handwriting. When Otto said those things about him, it made Caulin feel worthy of his... affection.

and are these traits in the room with us right now?

“You kind of remind me of that monster-man,” Caulin said, his breath catching in his throat. “The one who’s like a beast.”

ooh, so close! that's almost a description!

Warmth tingled in Caulin’s balls.

I've had just about enough of you

“I’ll help,” Otto rumbled. “Pounce on me. I’ll go down.” Caulin gulped and backed off to give himself some space. Then he surged forward, barreling into Otto’s side.

oi vey

His bulge grew bigger behind his shorts.

stop saying behind!!!!!! be-low! be-neath!!!

Caulin kissed those dusky peaks, taking one into his mouth, sucking on it like he always wanted.

you've been fucking for over a month and you haven't sucked his damn nips yet?? grow up

“Weren’t you afraid of the beast?” Otto growled.

this could have been a super hot role play moment but crazy kooky caulin 🤪 just can't fucking yes-and to save his live. I can't imagine going through the rigamaroll of installing sex shackles into my bedroom wall just for my partner's response to my roleplaying to be flopping around wet-fish style with each of his eyes blinking independently

“I didn’t know you could, um. Do that.” Otto smiled. “Do what?” “That, um. Pretend to be a monster.”

that's because your brain could fit through the eye of a needle, sweetness. That's why you'll get into heaven.

“Is it bad that I liked it?” “I don’t see why it needs to be bad. You have a safe place to explore that side of... us.”

consensual anal sex with another adult with some handcuffs that barely restricted any movement, btw

“Is it bad that I like sleeping with you?” Caulin blurted. “I’m not a...” Otto raised his eyebrows. “A slut,” Caulin mumbled.

gg chat. turns out we're in high school forever

Otto growled. “You’re the last person I would call a slut. Not that there’s anything wrong with being one. If someone likes sex, then they like sex. It’s not bad, and it certainly does not make a person less.”

what was it you said before? that you're not looking to play a fatherly role to caulin?

he hadn’t wanted his alpha to witness again what JC and his sidekick did to him. Caulin wasn’t sure how to make them go away, but at least he could control how often he bumped into them.

why wouldn't your alpha's scent ward them off? is it because the author has never read an omegaverse in her life?

Otto had proven that Caulin’s looks didn’t matter, and he’d given Caulin everything he could possibly ask for, but... it wasn’t fair, was it? What do I do? How do I make this equal?

this is an age gap daddy dom romance, son. it was never gonna be equal

Caulin pressed his face against his alpha. “You’re the mega-best.” Otto chuckled. “Well, you’re the giga-best.” Mega was a million, and giga was a billion. They’d covered those numbers in Otto’s video, but there was one number that was really, really huge. “You’re the googolplex-best.”

okay wrap it up. also, REFERENCING THE ONE VIDEO OF THE "BIG NUMBERS" KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEE people are rating this five stars!!! people are wholeheartedly, with their full chest and their mother's too, saying this is a GOOD BOOK

Otto froze, surprised. Then he broke into a wide smile, enveloping Caulin in a bear hug. “That’s my favorite video that you’ve made,” Caulin admitted shyly. “I’ve watched it a million times.”

wait wait wait. he just automatically assumed that a student who'd been in his astronomy class for three years knowing what a googolplex is was about. his own video. the confidence of mediocre men

“I can tell you all about those numbers in person. You don’t have to watch a video.” Caulin’s heart skipped. “Will you, really?” Otto flipped them around so Caulin lay on his chest, stroking his fingers through Caulin’s hair. “Let’s start with the smallest number...”

this is gonna be truncated for sure but WHAT IS THIS

Caulin hurried across the science faculty parking lot, his heart thumping with excitement. I felt it! I felt the baby!

aren't you clumsier than usual? you sure you wanna.......

He rounded a tall SUV with tinted windows, and almost crashed into JC and his sidekick, Ric.

the naming conventions of the villains is funny as fuck when you remember how everything else is named. I'm high so this makes sense to me.

How could I be so stupid?

that's what I'm trying to figure out!

“You’ve been avoiding me,” JC said, leering openly at Caulin’s body. “You got fatter. Man, that’s ugly.”

I'm HOWLING at this!!! call me ric the way I'm this dude's goon starting now

“I have an alpha now,” Caulin said, straightening his shoulders. He had to be brave. He couldn’t always count on Otto to get him out of situations.

I mean... this is definitely still using him to get out of situations (perfect execution of description yet again, no one out here doing it like Anna Wineheart) but at least it feels true to omegaverse

“You were mine first,” JC sneered. Caulin cringed all over. I can’t believe I ever agreed to sleep with him. “I was never yours!” He tried to back away. Except JC surged forward, grabbing Caulin by the arm. Then he pinched Caulin’s ass, and Caulin’s skin crawled.

cartoon bully during recess behavior

They backed Caulin up against the car, JC eyeing Caulin’s belly thoughtfully. “I could punch it out of you,” JC said. “Then you’ll be mine again.”

the average intellectual capacity of all the characters in this book has to run low so shit like this can go crazy

He shoved at JC with both his hands, but that alpha was heavier, and Caulin had no momentum on his side.

it's amazing how being a huge giant fatty, fattest to ever do it, is never big enough when it matters

He raised his fist and punched Caulin in the face, and pain exploded through Caulin’s head. In the distance, someone roared. “Now for the baby.” JC shoved Caulin up against the car, drawing back his fist again.

this is what conservatives think happens behind closed doors at planned parenthood

And JC fell backward, his arms flailing as he lost his balance. “What the fuck?” “Don’t you touch him,” a familiar voice snarled. Otto.

I would argue that this is assault is largely Otto's fault, considering he barely chastised these two during a kidnapping and rape attempt.

“I’ve let you go once,” Otto seethed. His eyes blazed, and he looked even bigger than usual, all his muscles taut with fury. “It looks like mercy is wasted on you.”

sooo weird how this only happens after you knocked their victim up. you had to convince yourself to go check it out when they were loudly and publicly kidnapping him like, last month

Ric yelped

I know this is like "Rick", but I'm starting to read it as "Rice" spelled with lore-accurate stupidity, and it's actually giving this scene merit.

JC recovered and struck Otto in the neck, but Otto took the blow, punching JC so hard that he collapsed.

💀

“Don’t touch my omega,” Otto hissed. He turned to punch Ric; Ric grimaced and turned tail, abandoning his friend. “He’s just fat,” JC spat from the ground. Caulin cringed. “Don’t listen to him!”

I think this exerpt perfectly encapsulates the whole damn thing. not in a plot way (that too), but like, the static noise going on in what's left of my brain when I see a five star review for this absolute piece of work

Bloody-nosed, JC said, “I would do it again. Omegas don’t get a say. Especially not ugly ones like him.”

this is just soooo stupid. what kind of shit-for-brains says this fuckass nonsense when they're getting the dogshit kicked out of them by a protective alpha? it makes caulin seem dumber and weaker by comparison to have been targeted by this whack-ass clown

“Varrick. I did something. No. I might’ve gravely injured an alpha.” A pause. “He tried to kill my baby.” Another pause. “We’re at the college. In the science faculty parking lot.” Another pause. “Thanks.”

where was any of this concern when caulin was being ABDUCTED??? your student of three years was worth a half-hearted reprimand for ASSAULT, but the clump of kicking cells in his body has the honor of you committing murder for it??????

“You’re injured,” Caulin protested. “I’m fine,” Otto growled. “We need to bring you to the doctor. To confirm that the baby is okay.”

caulin got his ass beat btw. I don't even fuck with him like that but even I'm insulted on his behalf. I'd recommend an abortion if this guy wouldn't probably hulk out and rip caulin in half for it

“The—The baby stopped moving. It was moving earlier. I wanted to tell you, and... and this happened.” Otto sucked in a sharp breath. He touched Caulin’s belly again, but there was no movement there anymore. “Damn it.”

I was actually gonna bring this up when he was huffing and puffing across the parking lot but babies don't kick forever lmfao. this is very normal. and if the pregnant couple were teenagers, this whole stupid drama moment would make much more sense.

“Glad I taught you how to throw a punch.” The policeman grinned and came over, sticking out his hand.

of course there's a good guy cop who covers for his friends. natch.

Varrick sent Otto a judgmental look. “Otto. Friend. He’s really pregnant.

no, just fat. unless the author literally didn't even do a precursory google search for stages of pregnancy. honestly, I'm a little impressed she knows it lasts nine months.

Slowly, Caulin took Varrick’s hand in a careful handshake. “I’m, um. I’m Caulin.” “Varrick. Otto’s only friend from middle school.” At Caulin’s surprise, Varrick shot Otto a look. “I can’t believe you never told him you were friendless.”

anyone could have guessed, but there isn't a character in this damn book who has more than two brain cells to rub together, and those aren't sparking a coherent thought any time soon

There’s an ambulance on the way, but I don’t think this guy needs it, either.” He nodded at JC. “You’re not trying to save him?” Otto asked. “With a bully and attempted murderer? I don’t particularly want to.” “You’re supposed to.” Varrick smiled. “I’m not you, Otto.”

yeah this is cop behavior for sure. he kicked this dying guy while he was unconscious btw, which makes him seem super cool and badass. not that I care about JC, but I hate cops more than I hate idiots kicking other idiots about the fupa

Some minutes later, they wrapped up the statements. The paramedics pronounced JC dead, and Caulin felt as though an ever-present weight had lifted off his chest.

cool. honestly, where was any of this vitriol for the weird landlord? whatever.

His bully would no longer bother him. Ric probably wouldn’t, either—he relied on JC to be his backbone.

this dude shoots out of his skin and wigs out at almost every basic human interaction, but witnessing a violent murder at the hands of his partner and standing over the corpse for several minutes like.... doesn't even register. he asked if he was disgusting for enjoying consensual sex with another adult, but not a flicker of moral quandary at being the motive for murder. there is nothing even slightly relatable or redeeming about this person, and it wouldn't be such a problem if the book didn't try to convince us, without merit, that the protagonist is a kind person. a nice person. he's nothing but a sniveling smear

Otto reached over, squeezing Caulin’s knee. He took them to the emergency room at the hospital; Caulin studied the familiar building, feeling weird.

paragraphs lifted straight from the imagination of a kindergartner whose only frame of reference for hospital visits is Blues Clues

He’d never come here because he needed medical attention. It had always been him at the gift shop sympathizing with the friends and families of patients, helping them pick out gifts.

well it's not for you now either, shitbird. it's for your dumbfuck baby.

“It must’ve been nice to have a friend in middle school,” Caulin blurted. Otto looked surprised. “You... didn’t have one?” Caulin shook his head. “No one wanted to be friends with me.” Otto growled low in his throat.

nails on a chalkboard give me fewer goosebumps than this tripe

Caulin’s heart missed a beat. He glanced around the waiting room, and lowered his voice. “But... I don’t do half as much as you. I can’t pull my weight. I just have a part-time job, and I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life. Hell, I can’t even drive.”

how are we 88% through and still rehashing this. I hope your head explodes in a pile of gore. then mine.

“You’re sweet and kind and caring, Caulin. You’re guileless and so honest and you want to be mine. You’re enough. And you’re worthy.”

Guileless is the only word I've seen so far that comes close to describing Caulin. so there's that, i guess.

“Wh-what am I worthy of?” Otto gazed softly into his eyes. “My love.”

and what a prize it is

The words took a while to sink in. Caulin’s insides felt like imploding. “Y-you l-love m-m-me?”

oh shit both of my retinas detached. but it's fine, they're floating around the inside of my head where this book can't hurt me anymore

“I’m going to mark you,” Otto whispered roughly in his ear. “Permanently. Is that okay?” Caulin nodded hard, his voice stuck in his throat.

in a public hospital waiting room with people around btw. did you think they were gonna wait to do this later? why the fuck would they do something reasonable? haven't you learned? haven't i learned????