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For all the time I’ve spent trying to make myself fit in here, it feels like I just carved out a piece all my own.
Usually the big truths about people’s feelings come in the quiet.
“You have more faith in me than I do.”
“You love the radio show.
Like I already know I won’t be able to shape it the way I meant to, now that I’ve seen another version of what it could be.
Because I’m afraid of letting my mom down.
a reflex, even if I know it’s not true. I could never let her down.
the real truth, which is that I’m afraid I’ll keep le...
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I love him the way I love looking at big stretches of the sky, or feeling the grass under my toes; he’s a feeling I’ve always known.
Some of the fun in radio is what you can’t control.
It wasn’t perfect by professional radio host standards. But it was its own kind of perfect,
Blue Ridge State will always be important to me. I want it to live up to its promise.
a recognition, by something I didn’t understand until this moment that we shared: a connection to Blue Ridge State that goes a whole lot deeper than the ground it sits on.
It was my dad’s. ‘Anything worth doing starts with a mess.’”
Worth
“Like—getting a new start doesn’t mean you have to wipe the slate clean. Just pick up the pieces. Begin again.”
Begin again
we’re both thinking, in that moment, of the pieces we’ve been trying to leave behind. The ones that will never really leave us.
The ones that will only pull us back the longer we try to pretend they don’t exist.
“I like you.”
It’s just so easy, is all—to talk to Jamie.
When I’m with Connor’s parents I’m constantly pre-screening every word that comes out of my mouth,
I never quite know where I stand.
“It was really nice to meet you.” “You too, doll.”
“Are you okay?” “Peachy.”
you’re still hurting. It’s going to take time.”
“And whatever happened—I think when it comes to grief, the more you can process it together, the easier it’ll probably be to heal.”
Like it was only waiting for a catalyst, for one of us to brush up against the other too close.
“I’m here if you ever want to actually talk about it, okay?”
“I’ve missed you so much.” “I missed you more.”
knowing that, most of the time, what he wants is what he’ll get.
He knows me well enough to know what I mean by “nothing.”
with Connor it just feels like talking to an extension of my own self.
Shouldn’t have left you in the first place. You deserve to be loved. You deserve people who stay.”
we persevered through that, the way we always will.
“I’ll always be here, Andie. You know I will.”
you’re plenty kind to put up with me.” Connor kisses the top of my head. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“I didn’t give you much of a choice.”
I think you love to help people.”
I also think you put a lot of pressure on yourself about it.”
The too-close feeling of someone seeing things that you don’t want them to see.
“You know you don’t owe anyone your help, right? Like, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”
“Sometimes your friends will need help. And sometimes you’ll need it. But that doesn’t mean that we have to solve everything for each other.”
“That’s the point of having friends, plural. A support system. Everyone helps when they can. They don’t spread themselves too thin.”
“It makes me happy, being able to help.”
“I think you should be happy in your own life first,”
the truth is, knowing I can be helpful means that I’m not a burden.
treat me like a member of the family, but only ever to an extent.
when I was a kid, wanting to help came naturally.
mutual satisfaction of knowing we’d been able to use our abilities to make other people feel heard, feel cared for.
You don’t need to prove anything.
