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I had no desire to conquer the world. Eh, rice is more important than that stuff anyways.
Capsule summary of Jin's attitude.
The image in his mind of the wicked one’s movements were set.
image... was
The creature’s fur and pelt deflecting some of the damage.
Sentence fragment.
but Basi Bu Shi was worthy of his hellish name, the lithe creature shot away with the deep scar in its flesh
Comma splice.
Needs his toenails trimmed too. I thought to myself.
too, I thought. ["To myself" is redundant.]
Loathe as he was
Loath
It was starting to get dark out, today had been a bust so far.
Comma splice
overtime and over budget.
over time [overtime is a noun]
woman that may as well be his sister.
might
Meiling woke to the sounds of and annoyed Yun Ren,
of an
food.” the scout-searcher squeaked.
food,"
those big, summer barbecues
No comma
what was occurring in from their pen.
Omit "in"
how Meimei would look like
how Meimei would look OR what Meimei would look like
He thought it was the Zhuge’s,
Zhuges'
“Did you?” she assumed he must not have and
She
I chose to be a farmer,” He paused again,
he
The tales or murderous, raping cultivators
tales of
I think you’re right” he declared,
right,"
decades.” Chow Ji asked,
decades,"
may have been able to
might
The little one had buried beneath his vest as to not be thrown off,
burrowed? buried herself?
from whatever happened.
had
He carefully released it into the air as to not infect the land
so as
I may not be there any longer,
might
and If I wasn’t
if
“Yes, Lord Magistrate.” the man replied evenly.
Magistrate,"
It hurt her ears, the wretched beast.
Tigger's POV
the one Bi De could not understand yet,
Head hop to Big D's POV?
as she spent more time with him, the less that seemed likely.
the more time she spent with him, the less...
accompanied “supervision”
accompanied by
for our princess here.” Gou Ren said,
here,"
to mooch more scratches of the Xong brothers.
off
of this,” His new
his
the kid’s first taste of gingerbread
kids'
but that may just be the fact
might
the other’s resolve.
others'
His enemy’s arrogance had prevented them
enemies'
from pests? understandable.
Understandable
How long will it be until they start going on more “adventures.”
?
spent finding false trains and having to double back,
trails
It was something that may cause me
might
At least it had some intelligence: He knew
It or he?
These aren’t things I can dictate to you.” “They are for you
Same speaker, so no closing quotation marks on first para
ensuring the weight of his words were understood.
weight... was
the choice he made.” “Let me tell you
Same speaker
Why claim the heavens when you could make your own?
if the woman sounded amazed, they had worked that fast.
Omit comma
She hadn’t even gotten her saviour’s names.
saviours'
I was thinking in good guys and bad guys, but most guys were somewhere in between.
