Always Mine (Honey Mountain, #1)

by Laura Pavlov

“You’re the sunshine in this group?” my oldest sister said as she tried to pull herself together. “Yes.” Dylan crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s just hidden behind a dark cloud.”

“Maybe it’s time you stop taking care of everyone else and take care of yourself.”

Nothing beat a Thomas sister group hug.

My sisters were right. Niko wasn’t just my best friend. I loved him. And it was time to fight for him. I was done being afraid.

I planned on laying all my chips on the table. If they were going to fall, it wouldn’t be because I was too scared to try. I was going after what I wanted. And I wanted Niko West.

I knew I was heading over to the Thomas’ after I left here, and I was ready to get there. I hadn’t seen Vivi in days and I was done keeping my distance.

I’d thought about what Jack had said to me, and I finally understood why Vivian had been wasting so much time with that asshat Jansen. She was just as scared as I was.

I thought about what Jace said, and he was right. If there was one person on the planet that I would be willing to take a risk on, it was Vivian Thomas. She was it for me. Always had be...

I am not my father. And no, it didn’t mean that I suddenly wanted all the things that she wanted. Marriage wasn’t something I had ever thought about, but that wasn’t the big deal killer for me. I knew that Vi...

But I’d tell it to her straight and put the ball in her court. Hell, I didn’t want anyone else. I don’t think I ever had. I think Vivian was the reason I’ve never had a real relationship, well, outside of the fact that I had a fucked-up father and a shit ton of reasons for not putting my faith in anyone. But in hinds...

I didn’t want to talk about my father’s return or the fact that she was allowing him to come home after all he’d done. Tonight, I wanted to do something good for myself. And Vivi had always been good for me. Even when everything around me was dark and twisted, she’d shined her light my way.

I looked up and my eyes locked with honey browns standing there watching me from across the room. The gaze that always soothed me.

A few people tried to stop me as I made my way to her, but I was undeterred. Hell, I’d missed her so much, I wasn’t going to wait one more minute to get to her.

“Do you really want to give this a try? You and me. No secrets?” Her eyes searched mine. “Of course. Nothing’s changed for me.” That was all I needed. My mouth came down over hers, right there in the middle of the Thomas’ kitchen with everyone watching. And I didn’t give a shit.

“Someone call the fire department because this place is about to go up in flames,” Dylan shouted, and I finally pulled away. Everyone laughed and whistled and cheered.

“So, that was a surprise,” she said, turning to look at me. “Well, I guess I’m full of surprises.” “What changed?” Her fingers traced the lines inside my palm. “I missed you,” I said, tipping her chin up to look at me. “I was just scared, Honey Bee. I don’t want to hurt you or fuck this up.”

“I like the sound of that. I just… fuck, Vivi, I want to give you everything you want, but I don’t know that I can.”

“Everything I want right now is right here. Don’t get ahead of yourself. One day at a time, okay?” “I love you so fucking much it hurts,”

Tallboy was doubled over laughing, and Big Al shook his head and shrugged. And I was exactly where I wanted to be. And for the first time in as long as I could remember, I was content. Happy even.

My hand found Vivi’s beneath the table and I held on like my life depended on it. Because in a way… it did.

Now that he’d come to his damn senses, he didn’t want to spend a minute apart unless we had to. He’d stayed by my side throughout dinner, and even when I’d left to help with the dishes, I’d found his eyes on me every time I looked up.

“It took me a while to get here, Honey Bee.” He turned to look at me, and I moved closer as his arms came around me. “I’m glad you stopped running. Now hopefully you’ll stay awhile,” I said, and he barked out a laugh. “That’s the plan.”

“You do know that I can walk, right?” I chuckled. “I like carrying you. Like letting the world know that you’re mine.” My stomach dipped at his words. Nothing had really changed in my mind. Not my feelings for him or the way I knew he felt about me, but he’d finally accepted it and that meant we actually had a chance. “I think I’ve always been yours, Niko West,”

I hauled the tree into her house, and I got all her decorations out of her attic for her while she set up the cookies that she wanted us to decorate. I’d started a fire in the small fireplace in her living room, because I was freezing my balls off. The snow was coming down hard and I was happy that we were done for the day with outings.

I got the tree up in the stand and she clapped. It didn’t take much to make Vivi happy and I’d always appreciated how much she cared about the little things. Most people didn’t give a shit. But Vivi had always been different.

I’d never had a lot of normalcy in my life, but times like these with Vivian made me wonder if I could have them. I’d spent so much of my life in survival mode that I didn’t know how to just be in the moment. But I was doing it right now, and it felt damn good.

It pissed me off. Guys like my dad who had no business being a parent, living a reckless life, and he gets to live. He gets to get out of prison and come home. And Beth Thomas doesn’t get to see her girls graduate college or get married. How fucked up is that?

Does it help having all of your sisters home right now?” She pulled back and looked at me. “It does. But do you know what is helping the most?” “What?” “Being with you. It’s honestly the happiest I’ve felt since my mom died, Niko. This.” She reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers. “This makes me happy.” I pulled her back against me and hugged her tight. “This makes me happy too.” Now I just had to figure out how to not fuck it all up.

I was on duty the next three days and after the weekend we’d had, I didn’t want to spend a night away from Vivi. The girl was turning my world upside down, and I just wanted more.

I promised Vivi I’d always have her father’s back when we were fighting fires, and I’d always honored my word. This man was like a father to me, and I’d never allow him to get hurt as long as I was by his side. Regardless of what that meant.

This wasn’t my first time in this situation, but it never got easier. Not when other people’s lives depended on you. Not when you finally had something important to live for. Vivian.

“Please be safe. I love you.” “Love you, Honey Bee. Go home. Stay with your sisters tonight. I’ll call you as soon as we’re done.” I kissed her hard before slipping my gloves and my mask back into place. And headed toward the flames burning in front of me.

“I’m making a heart for you to keep at the firehouse.” “Oh, that won’t get me a ton of shit from the guys.” I barked out a laugh imagining them razzing me for bringing a heart-shaped piece of pottery to work with me. “It’ll sit on the little table beside your bed. It’s a piece of me.” “Anything you make me will be perfect,” I said.

“I love you, Honey Bee. It’s you that’s made me sweeter. And it’s only for you.” Her hands moved up to each side of my face, caressing my cheeks. “It’s always been you. You just weren’t mine yet.” “You’ve always been mine, Vivi. It just took me a bit to claim you.”

I never thought forever was a thing I’d give a shit about, but Vivian Thomas was my forever.

“Always mine?” “Always,”

He looked over at me and winked, and I noticed the welled emotion in his gray gaze. He swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand, and I nearly lost my breath. This big broody man had a heart of gold, and I was lucky enough to be the one he showed it to.

I stood there dumbfounded. What in the hell had just happened? And why did it feel like he wasn’t coming back? I dropped onto the couch and covered my face as the tears started to fall. And I let them.

“You’ve never been alone, Niko.” “It’s not like we have a mom who came to my aid, Jada. She turned the other cheek. She always fucking has his back, even after all he’s done.” “I didn’t mean Mom. And I didn’t even mean me, because I know I haven’t been there for you the way I should have been. But you’ve had something me and Mom have never had.” She squeezed my hand, as tears continued to stream down her face. “What?” “You’ve had Vivian. She’s always had your back. And now that you guys are together, I see a difference in you too.”

“I wasn’t done. I was saying it’s not only because Dad’s home, but it’s because you’re finally happy. You’re in a relationship with someone you love, and that’s got to be terrifying for someone like you,” she said as she barked out a laugh over her sobs when I reared back at her words. “I don’t mean it that way. I just mean, it’s hard for you to trust, and you’ve found someone who would walk through fire for you. She’s never going to hurt you, and you probably don’t even know what to do about it.”

I drove straight to Vivian’s house and knocked on the door. It was cold as hell out here, my hair still damp, and I hoped she wasn’t so pissed that she wouldn’t let me in, because if that was the case, I’d be sleeping on her front porch.

I’d overreacted about Jansen showing up here, because I was looking to pick a fight. I was not threatened by Jansen Clark. I trusted Vivian with my life. I just came with a shit ton of baggage that was fucking with my head.

The door opened and she stood there looking like I felt. Her eyes were puffy, her cheeks red, but the empathy in that dark gaze was there just like it always was. “Hey,” she said. “Glad you came back.” I moved forward and tipped my head down, resting my f...

“I’m good with that. Tell me why you left?” “Because seeing my dad fucks with my head. Seeing my mom with a big bruise on her face—it brings up things. It reminds me of a past I don’t want to remember. And it pisses me off because I worry about her, even though she never worried about me.” A lump formed in my throat which also pissed me off, and I slipped Vivian off my lap and set her on the couch before I moved to my feet and started pacing. “I don’t like talking about this shit.”

“I don’t want to tell you this shit and make you cry,” I hissed and started to pull away, but she held on to my hands. “I’m crying because I love you. You don’t need to run from me. I’m not going anywhere.

“He’s a monster. I hate him.” I leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose. “I don’t need you hating anyone for me.” “Well, I do. And that’s not going to change.

I slept alone in my apartment, or I spent the night here with you even before we were together, and I slept well.” She smiled. “That makes me happy. You’re safe with me, Niko.” I chuckled. “Oh yeah? You going to keep me safe, Vivi?” “Always.”

I kissed her, tangling my fingers in her long hair. Because I knew she was right. When I was with her, everything was better. Always had been.

I woke up with my body wrapped around Niko’s. We always slept tangled up in one another and I loved it. I loved listening to his heartbeat as my head rested on his chest. I loved the warmth of his body.

We’d stayed up late, and I’d prompted him to keep sharing with me. He’d told me more about the nightmare that was his childhood and a piece of my heart shattered into a million pieces as I listened.