Always Mine (Honey Mountain, #1)

by Laura Pavlov

“A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.”

“Humans have actual feelings.” Charlotte chomped on a carrot and chuckled. “Or didn’t your alien leaders teach you that?”

Ashlan was the baby of the family. Dylan and Charlotte were twins and two years older than her, two years younger than me. Our oldest sister, Everly, was two years older than me.

“What’s Grumpy Smurf ranting about now?”

“That asshole Jansen is getting married to the skank Vivi found him in the sack with. And he had the audacity to send an invitation here, to the Thomas family. He’s lucky he doesn’t live here anymore. I wouldn’t mind a minute alone in a dark alley with that wimpy, scrawny…”

told you that dude wasn’t good enough for you. I knew it and he knew it too. And he best not show his face around here for a while.”

Niko had been calling me Honey Bee since we were kids and I’d ended up naming my business after the silly nickname.

“You’re always fine, Honey Bee.” I nodded. Because he was right. I’d been through worse than Jansen Clark cheating on me and inviting me to his wedding. I would be fine. I had to be.

“I’m too old for this,” Jada groaned as she pushed to her feet. “You’re nineteen years old.” I barked out a laugh. Yes, my sister had Mabel when she was only fifteen years old. I’d tried my best to keep her on track, but some things are just out of your control no matter how hard you try. Needless to say, the baby daddy, Joey Black, wasn’t interested in a kid. A loser my sister was better off without.

I knew my father’s hearing was coming up soon if it hadn’t already happened, and there was a chance he’d get released. I hadn’t seen the man in six years, and I was in no hurry for him to return. He was the reason I was still here after all. His choices had robbed me of many of my own.

“He wasn’t behind the wheel. Dad made that choice. He never stops to think about how his actions will affect everyone around him.”

Yeah, my father had gone to prison right before I graduated high school. I’d planned to go play Division 1 football for a top school in Michigan, when the shit hit the fan. But my mother had checked out and at the time, my sister was only thirteen years old. I couldn’t leave her to fend for herself. Couldn’t leave them. So, I’d given it all up and stayed in this shit town to help my family. My sister had resented me for trying to parent her and ended up knocked up a couple years later, only reminding me more that I’d failed.

“Can I blame him for this? Or is this my fault too?” Her eyes scanned the cigarette scars running up my arms and she looked away quickly. “He had a drinking problem.” I nodded. There was always a justification for his abuse.

If he laid his hands on that sweet little girl, I wouldn’t stand by. Not a chance in fucking hell. I was bigger and stronger than I’d been when that piece of shit used to take out all his frustrations on me. “If you let him back in this house, I’ll be moving Mabel and Jada out of here.”

“You see, that’s the difference between you and me, Ma. It doesn’t matter. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep them safe. That’s what you do for the people you love. You just must have missed the memo.”

When you chose to have kids, it was your fucking job to keep them safe. She should have left him. Walked away. Stood up to him. Whatever it took.

Vivian Thomas was the best person I knew. There weren’t many people that I loved deeply… but she was one of them. Hell, she was at the top of the list next to my sister and Mabel. I’d given her the name Honey Bee when we were kids because we’d learned about them in school. I’d always been amazed at the way the girl would buzz around spreading all her sweetness from one person to the next. Deep inside her lived a queen… but she hadn’t tapped into that shit yet. But I saw it. I saw the fierceness behind her dark gaze when it came to protecting her sisters. Her father. Just not herself yet.

Her black jeans hugged her tight little ass perfectly, and I always forced myself to look away. I’d spent the night in Vivian Thomas’ bed dozens of times growing up and never had an issue. But these past few years, she’d grown up in more ways than I wanted to admit. Her body was sexy as hell, and she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever laid eyes on. Dark eyes, long, light-brown waves cascaded down her back, and full, pouty, pink lips that I’d avoided looking at lately.

“Pace yourself, Honey Bee. You’ve got to work tomorrow.” I thought about the first time I ever called her by that nickname. The first time I realized Vivian Thomas was my best friend. The first time I crawled through her window craving all her goodness…

“Niko?” she asked as she opened the window. “Did he hit you again?” “Yeah. Can I sleep here for a few hours? I don’t think I can sleep at my house tonight.” “Of course,” she whispered.

“You know you can talk to me about anything. I’m obviously not an expert on relationships, but I can tell you that sex should feel fucking fantastic. If you haven’t felt that way about it, it just means you’ve been with the wrong dude, which is what I’ve thought from the start.”

“Trust me. I know this shit. Let me guess. Your dick of an ex-boyfriend probably went down on you once a year on your birthday but expected you to suck his dick often.”

“No. Never. But in his defense, I never did either. He said he wasn’t into that whole thing,” I leaned closer to him, and whisper-shouted. “You know… oral sex.” His tongue swiped out to wet his bottom lip. “I know what it is, Vivi. And he’s an asshole for not teaching you all the ways he could please you. Unless you didn’t want to do it? That’s a different story.” “No. I was curious. I am curious. But he said it was dirty, so I never asked again.” His gaze narrowed as he took me in. “There’s nothing dirty about it. I can promise you that. Did the asshole even make you orgasm?” “Um, that’s a hard no.” I hiccupped and laughed. “No pun intended.

“So… you like sex, huh?” I asked, and I covered one eye because there were three Nikos in front of me. “I do. And you should too,” he said as he tossed some money down on the bar. “Let’s get you home.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry your dad was such an asshole.” He chuckled. “I’m sorry your boyfriend never made you come.” I fell forward laughing. “I shouldn’t have told you that. I’ll never live it down.” “You know you can tell me anything. Just makes me happy that you didn’t end up with that selfish prick.”

“He wasn’t all bad,” I said as I threw my hands in the air. “I mean, aside from the bad sex and the cheating.” “You need to make sure that the next guy you date knows what he’s doing.”

I sighed as my head nuzzled against his chest. “Maybe you should have sex with me.” He nearly tripped over the step leading to the front door. “You’re drunk, Vivian.” He only said my name when he was mad or serious. I guessed he was serious this time.

“I’m not that drunk. Doesn’t it make sense?” Suddenly, having sex with Niko didn’t seem so strange. “Doesn’t what make sense?” he asked, yanking my boots off my feet. “Well, we’re best friends. You’re clearly a very good lover, and I’ve been missing out. You could teach me a thing or two. Show me what to expect.”

“You’re too good for me, Honey Bee. That’s a line we can’t cross.” He kissed me on the forehead.

“Damn you. Now you’ve got me curious about this whole oral sex thing. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have someone, you know… go there.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ll bet you have. I blame your cocksucker of an ex for not showing you.”

“So why can’t you show me? Does the idea gross you out?” I sighed. My eyes were so heavy. “Nothing about you grosses me out. I’ll be on the couch. Get some sleep.” “You’re sleeping over and you won’t sleep in my bed?” I asked. “You used to sleep with me.” I reached up and wrapped a hand around his neck and pulled him down to me. “I love your eyes.” He laughed and kissed my forehead again. “I’m not leaving you alone when you’ve had this much to drink. But aft...

I was most definitely three sheets to the wind, because I’d never allowed myself to fantasize about my best friend. But tonight, I’d let my mind wander.

I’d always found her attractive—hell, she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever laid eyes on. But I’d never allowed myself to go there with her, nor would I. She’d had the same boyfriend for years, and I’d been busy banging everyone in town.

Like I said, I’m a dark fucker. A greedy bastard when it came to Vivian Thomas.

It wasn’t the first time I got off to thoughts of my best friend, but it was the first time I wanted to act on it. And that could never happen.

I barked out a laugh. “Well, you look good. Why are you relieved?” “Because we had the sex talk. I needed that. I’d always thought it was me, but after talking to you, I think Jansen might have been the problem.” “He was definitely the problem.”

had zero inhibitions when it came to sex. My problem was that talking about it with my best friend was causing tremendous issues for my dick. And next to her, he was my best friend.

“So, you really don’t think you could maybe, I don’t know, rock my world? Go downtown and show me what I’m missing? Teach me a thing or two before I get into the next relationship.” I spewed coffee all over the table in front of me. “Jesus, Honey Bee. Prepare a man before you say it so casually.” “What? Aren’t you the sex king? All you have is casual sex. Why is this a big deal?” she asked.

“It’s not happening. Crossing that line would fuck everything up.”

“Vivian. There isn’t a man on this planet that wouldn’t be attracted to you. You’re fucking beautiful.” “So, what’s the problem?” “The problem is that you’re the one good thing in my life, and I don’t want to fuck it up. I don’t have a lot of good, Vivi. You know that.”

“Damn. Now you’ve got me all curious about the things I’ve been missing out on. I guess I just need to find me a man to try it out with.”

“I’m leaving. Just give yourself a few days to recover before you do anything rash.” “I want you to remember that I did your calculus homework all of senior year. I think you owe me one,” she shouted as I walked to the car. “Who are you and what have you done with Vivian Thomas?” “Her ex-boyfriend cheated on her and then got engaged shortly after. Oh yeah, and then he didn’t bother to tell her, he just sent an invitation to his nuptials to her entire family. It’s time Vivian Thomas had a little fun.”

The thought of Vivian with a random dude had me on edge. There’d been something safe about her dating the douchebag all those years. They’d been long distance, which meant her relationship never interfered with our friendship. When he’d come to town, I’d keep my distance. I hadn’t cared for him in high school, and it had only worsened over the years. But now… she was single. Free to do what she wanted, and thanks to my sex talk, it appeared she wanted to do all sorts of shit. Fuck me.

“Keep your dirty fucking paws off Vivi. It’s not up for discussion,” I hissed.

“You sure nothing’s ever gone on with you and Vivian? You’re awfully protective of that girl,” Rusty said. “No. Stop talking and eat your food before I shove your head in the shitter,” I said, picking up my plate and dropping it in the sink.

was in a foul mood today for reasons I couldn’t grasp. Because all I could think about was claiming Vivi’s sweet mouth. Of burying my face between her thighs and tasting all that sweetness. Or holding her perfect tits in my hands. Fuck me.

Honey Bee ~ I just want to throw this out there. I just made your favorite red velvet cupcakes. I set a dozen aside for you. How do you feel about a trade? <winky face emoji>

After my mom passed, the anxiety over my father’s profession worsened. It’s the reason I turned down my scholarship to go away to school and attended college close to home. And once Niko joined the fire department, my anxiety deepened.

“I work at the boutique three mornings a week, and I don’t know if Niko told you, but my dad is getting released from prison soon.” She said it like we were discussing the weather. Not the fact that a man who had terrorized Niko most of his life, and nearly killed his own brother because he’d been driving drunk, was going to be back in their lives.

“Wow. Time sure flew. I can’t believe he’s already getting out.” Anger moved through my body, remembering all the times that Niko had snuck through my bedroom window as a kid. His dad never laid a hand on Jada, but Niko had sustained a lot of abuse for as long as I could remember. When it got really bad, my best friend would come in my window and sleep in my bed. I don’t think my parents ever knew, and nothing ever happened between us. We just comforted one another the best we could. He stopped his nighttime visits once we were in high school, and he’d said that things were better. But I saw the bruises and the burn marks on his forearms, and he’d always just say the bruises were from football. But I knew better. When we were young, he’d talked to me about being woken up to a swift kick in the gut or a cigarette being extinguished on his skin. I begged him to report his father, but he said it would only make things worse for him. Niko always planned to leave Honey Mountain when he graduated. God knows he had enough full-ride scholarship offers to go anywhere he wanted to play Division 1 football. But after his dad went off to prison and his mom fell apart, he chose not to leave her and Jada.