Always Mine (Honey Mountain, #1)

by Laura Pavlov

“If you’re waiting for my approval, you already have it. I couldn’t pick a better person than you for my daughter. The only one who doesn’t know it is you.”

“Just not sure I’m that guy,” I said, as I pushed to my feet and followed him off. He turned around and laughed hard. “None of us are, Niko. All it takes is one good woman to become that man. At least that’s how it was for me and Beth. Once I met her… I changed all my deviant ways.”

“Looks like you got the fatherly blessing. What are you waiting for, Dipship?” Tallboy came up beside me and leaned in way too close to my ear. “I agree. Green light, baby.”

“Karla’s gone. Met some guy in a bar and left town. Left the girls.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s so fucked up and I’m so tired of trying to fix her.”

“Listen, you stepped up and tried to do the right thing by her. I think it’s time to let her go and start a new journey with the girls.” He shrugged. “I’m fine with letting her go. Hell, it’s been awful for years. But I just hate that she left them, you know? I didn’t want them to grow up this way.”

“Listen to me. You’ve been playing the role of mom and dad since they were born. Karla was never there. They are going to be just fine. Hell, it might be better than having her come and go all the time. I know who you are. You know who you are. You’ve got this, buddy.”

“I think you’re right. Now how about you take your own damn advice and stop second-guessing yourself.” “What the fuck does that mean?” I asked. “It means you should stop fucking around when it comes to Vivi. I know who you are too, Niko. And I know how hard it is to find someone worth taking a risk for. And that girl is worth it. She won’t be around forever, and I promise you, if you let her get away it’ll be your biggest regret.” “When did you become a fucking therapist?” I barked out a laugh. “When my fucking life imploded. Trust me. If you get a chance at happiness, you should fucking take it. And that girl is the real deal.”

“You know, they’re upstairs probably blowing a fuse or two while they get ready.”

I’d seen such a change in Jada since the day I’d had a bit of a meltdown on her. She was trying hard. Stepping up. I was proud of her.

My heart squeezed at the thought of my best friend standing in front of a group of kids talking about firefighting. He was so patient with kids, and it always surprised me. The way he took his time listening to Mabel and answering questions that she asked two or three times in a row.

“Bullshit. We all see it. You were dating Jansen because he was safe. You’ve been in love with Niko West for as long as I can remember. But you’re still playing it safe,”

“No, I’m not. He knows how I feel. It’s him who’s afraid. After everything with his dad, I just don’t think he’d allow himself to be truly happy.” I shrugged. “I don’t buy it.” She pulled out a chair and motioned for me to do the same. “You don’t buy what?” “That you aren’t afraid. I think you have a lot more to do with it not going anywhere than you want to admit.”

“You’re a caretaker. You want everyone else to be happy. And you and Niko have one thing in common,” she said. “What’s that?” I whispered. “You’re both terrified of being happy. He doesn’t think he deserves it, and you’re afraid of loving someone so much that it would hurt like hell if you lost them. Because you’ve already experienced how much that hurts, right?”

“Aren’t you? Dating a guy like Jansen for all those years. That’s safe, right? You didn’t even cry when you found him in bed with another woman. But every time Niko gets called to a fire, I see the way you react. When we’re on the phone, I can hear the fear in your voice. You love that man something fierce, so go after it, Vivi. Don’t be afraid to love and to live. You’re the best person I know, just don’t tell Dilly, because she’ll kick my ass.”

“Well, Ash just had a meltdown because her straightening iron broke, and Charlie has a zit that no one can see without a magnifying glass and she’s refusing to come downstairs at the moment. And now I find you two huddled in a pile of tears, and I just… I can’t be the sunshine for everyone.”

“You’re the sunshine in this group?” my oldest sister said as she tried to pull herself together. “Yes.” Dylan crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s just hidden behind a dark cloud.” I rushed my sister and hugged her tight. “I love you and your dark cloud, Dylan Thomas.”

“Maybe it’s time you stop taking care of everyone else and take care of yourself.”

“For God’s sake, is this all about the pimple?” my father said when he stepped out on the back porch. “I can’t even see the damn thing.” We all fell back in a fit of laughter. “It’s huge, Dad.” Charlotte pointed at her face, and there was literally the tiniest pimple there. “Come on, zitalicious, let’s go cover that with some concealer,” Dylan said as she led Charlotte back into the house.

I planned on laying all my chips on the table. If they were going to fall, it wouldn’t be because I was too scared to try. I was going after what I wanted. And I wanted Niko West.

knew I was heading over to the Thomas’ after I left here, and I was ready to get there. I hadn’t seen Vivi in days and I was done keeping my distance.

She was just as scared as I was. I thought about what Jace said, and he was right. If there was one person on the planet that I would be willing to take a risk on, it was Vivian Thomas.

She was it for me. Always had been. So why the fuck was I so afraid of telling her? I am not my father. And no, it didn’t mean that I suddenly wanted all the things that she wanted. Marriage wasn’t something I had ever thought about, but that wasn’t the big deal killer for me. I knew that Vivi wanted kids. Lots of them. The thought gave me hives.

I’d tell it to her straight and put the ball in her court. Hell, I didn’t want anyone else. I don’t think I ever had. I think Vivian was the reason I’ve never had a real relationship, well, outside of the fact that I had a fucked-up father and a shit ton of reasons for not putting my faith in anyone. But in hindsi...

didn’t want to talk about my father’s return or the fact that she was allowing him to come home after all he’d done. Tonight, I wanted to do something good for myself. And Vivi had always been good for me. Even when everything around me was dark and twisted, she’d shined her light my way.

I barked out a laugh because Dylan would eat Rusty alive. The girl was too witty for her own good, and Rusty wouldn’t know what hit him.

Rusty whistled and Tallboy grabbed Rook and put him in a headlock, and I beelined it toward Vivi. A few people tried to stop me as I made my way to her, but I was undeterred. Hell, I’d missed her so much, I wasn’t going to wait one more minute to get to her.

Her eyes searched mine. “Of course. Nothing’s changed for me.” That was all I needed. My mouth came down over hers, right there in the middle of the Thomas’ kitchen with everyone watching. And I didn’t give a shit. My fingers tangled in her hair, and I kissed her hard.

“Someone call the fire department because this place is about to go up in flames,” Dylan shouted, and I finally pulled away. Everyone laughed and whistled and cheered. Jack snapped me on the back with a dish towel. “I gave you my blessing, but that did not mean that I wanted you to do that in the middle of the kitchen when I’m cooking a damn turkey.”

“I missed you,” I said, tipping her chin up to look at me. “I was just scared, Honey Bee. I don’t want to hurt you or fuck this up.” “You won’t. Nothing’s really going to change, Niko. We already spend all our time together. We’ve been having sex and that has been,” she paused and then laughed. “It’s been amazing. Now we just don’t have to keep it a secret.”

“I like the sound of that. I just… fuck, Vivi, I want to give you everything you want, but I don’t know that I can.” “Everything I want right now is right here. Don’t get ahead of yourself. One day at a time, okay?”

Jace was holding Hadley in his arms as she’d just turned a year old a few weeks ago, and Paisley sat between Ashlan and Charlotte,

“So, Vivi, what do you think about Rook here asking Jada out? Niko didn’t have much to say about the matter, so we thought maybe you could help him out, seeing as she works for you,”

“So, Dylan. How about you? You ever consider dating a firefighter? Especially a good-looking one like myself?” Rusty asked, and Vivian covered her face with both hands and groaned. “Rusty, do you not remember that you dated my best friend in high school, and you cheated on her? I suggest you take your business elsewhere. This shop is closed for business. Are you picking up what I’m putting down?”

“Rusty, did you really just ask my daughter out at the dinner table at my house? For God’s sake, I’ve got this one disappearing down the hall with one daughter,” he flicked his thumb in my direction. “And then you come out of left field. Can I please just enjoy my dinner?” “Sorry, Cap. Apparently, I need to learn to read the room better,”

for the first time in as long as I could remember, I was content. Happy even. My hand found Vivi’s beneath the table and I held on like my life depended on it. Because in a way… it did.

“I don’t think someone as evil as he is, is capable of change. And today, Honey Bee, you can get anything you want in prison, so no, I don’t think he’s totally cleaned up.” He paused then said, “He wanted me to take the fall for the accident. I don’t think I ever told you that.”

“That night he fled the scene. I’d just come home from football practice, and he came running into the house. He was all battered and bleeding, and he grabbed me and said that when the police came to the house, I needed to say that I was driving that car. The police showed up less than a minute later and they arrested him. He was screaming that I had driven the car and I told the officers that I’d just come from practice. I wasn’t going to lie for that asshole and ruin my life for him. My mother stayed silent which I’m sure didn’t make him happy. Hell, I felt relieved the day they took him away. Even if it messed up my plans for college, it was one of the best days of my life.” “What kind of man asks his son to take the fall for him?” I whispered, hopping off the stool and moving to stand between his legs and wrapping my arms around his middle and hugging him tight. “A monster, Honey Bee. That’s exactly what he is.”

“Don’t play dirty, Honey Bee.” “What? You can’t take a little snowball to the head?” “Oh, I can take it. But paybacks are coming your way. I’ll be the one in charge tonight.”

It pissed me off. Guys like my dad who had no business being a parent, living a reckless life, and he gets to live. He gets to get out of prison and come home. And Beth Thomas doesn’t get to see her girls graduate college or get married. How fucked up is that?

“Yeah, she did. The only saving grace is that we were at least able to prepare for it. Cancer just isn’t fair though, is it?” “No. It’s not. Does it help having all of your sisters home right now?” She pulled back and looked at me. “It does. But do you know what is helping the most?”

“Being with you. It’s honestly the happiest I’ve felt since my mom died, Niko. This.” She reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers. “This makes me happy.”

He pushed to his feet. We were the same size, and I probably had an inch on the guy now. He was no longer looking down at me. I wasn’t the little kid he used to beat up on, and I squared my shoulders, happy to make sure he knew it.

“I’m just keeping them safe. I obviously have my reasons. Or did you forget all that while you were rotting in a cell?” “I didn’t forget shit. And I came by to make sure you know that I’ll be calling the shots for my family moving forward,” he hissed. “Good luck with that.” I nodded, my expression hard.

“You stay out of my business.” “Careful, old man. I’m not the little boy I used to be. You won’t be pounding your fists into someone who can’t fight back. I will not hesitate to beat the living shit out of you. In fact, I’m begging you to throw the first punch.”