Moth (Monstrous, #5)

by Lily Mayne

“Is that a gut I feel?” “What? Fuck off.” Hunter shoved my hand away and lifted his shirt to peer down at his stomach. “I don’t have a gut,” he snapped, but his voice had an edge of worry. Edin boomed out a big laugh. “Don’t worry, josdo.” He pulled Hunter into him with a thick arm around his neck. “I still love you, even with your gut.” “I don’t have a gut!” “Gah, and if you did?” Edin waved an imperious hand. “What is so wrong with a gut? It means I am feeding you well. Providing for my mate.”

Seemed like it wasn’t just Hunter chasing monster dick, then. Well—and Danny. I’d only met him briefly, but he had apparently decided on the most monstrous dick of monster dicks. The Soul Eater was… terrifying.

“Tiny horns,” Edin muttered in a conspiratorial tone to Hunter as we approached. He snorted. “So?” “Just saying.”

“I won’t be unleashing anything, I swear,” he said, then nodded at Hunter. “Your mate is safe. And your… Charlie.” I cleared my throat. “I’m Hunter’s best friend. We’re not a throuple.”

“Shall we go inside the camp, then?” Gloam said, then turned serious eyes to Edin. “Aury is in control. He wouldn’t lie to you. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone.” Edin cast a glance at Hunter, brows pinched. Slowly he nodded. “I trust your word, friend,” he said, then looked at Aury with a smile. “You are strong, to control it.” Aury flushed and gave a little shrug. “Because of my mate. He helped me.” “Well, I look forward to meeting him.” Edin grinned at Hunter, palming the back of his neck. “Shall we?”

“That dude with the white hair is creeping me out a little,” I muttered to Hunter as we followed Gloam and Rig. “He’s giving me uncanny valley vibes. Something’s off with him.” “Yeah?” Hunter cocked his head as he looked. He shrugged. “I guess. He’s hot.” Edin let out a disgruntled snarl from the other side of him and smacked Hunter in the chest. It was immensely satisfying for me—and I suspected for Edin—to hear Hunter wheeze at the impact. “I just meant objectively, scratch.” His voice was tight, like he was trying to mask the discomfort. I snorted.

He was talking to Edin, a slight smile on his freakishly perfect face. That was what had jarred me when I’d first spotted him, I realised. He was too perfect. Too stunningly beautiful to really look human. He looked more like what an artist would picture the perfect human to look like. His hair was white—almost silver—but his brows were black and finely shaped, above pale eyes of a colour I couldn’t see from here. His face was narrow but chiselled, with a slim, straight nose and a full mouth that had three rings piercing it—one through the centre of his lower lip, and two either side of his cupid’s bow. I thought I could see tattoos on his neck, disappearing under the collar of his shirt.

He had a rangy-looking body, with wide shoulders and a torso that tapered into narrow hips and long legs. He was wearing heavy black boots, black jeans and a grey shirt under a brown leather duster that reached his knees. His hands were stuffed in the pockets. I quickly looked away when my stomach tightened with an exhilarating rush of attraction. Fine, sure, he was hot. Hunter was right. But there was still something off about him. Something not quite… right. He was also the only other human here besides me not wearing some kind of mask. Hunter had his, but I’d lost mine when the koleb fuckers took my stuff, and I hadn’t bothered to replace it. All the raiders in here were wearing theirs.

The new voice made me stiffen. I looked over and realised Edin and the white-haired guy had come over to join us. His pale eyes were blue, I noticed. Ghostly blue, almost like there was a film over them, including his pupils.

And they were aimed at Ghost with an embarrassingly obvious expression. Christ, his pupils had practically reshaped themselves into cartoon hearts. I suppressed my wince, glancing down at Ghost’s hand firmly tucked inside Aury’s. Tough break, dude.

He snorted and looked away, making me want to punch him in his too-perfect fucking mouth.

Rig tilted his head toward Ghost, grinning at us. “Ghost here is a bit of an introvert, too.” “Hunter’s not an introvert,” I said cheerfully. “He’s just an unlikeable asshole.”

“Moth comes across as a bit of an ass, but he’s okay really. Just cocky.” I quirked a brow. “Uh-huh.”

“Were they… drugging Seraph?” I asked cautiously. I peered down at the edge of the cage again, but couldn’t see anything in it. “Yes.” Gloam sighed and turned his goat-like eyes to Rig. “I really must read Mary’s journals to find out more, my love. I was just about to do it when you came in.”

The raider looked anxious. “Okay. If you’re sure you’re ready.” Gloam stroked a big hand through his hair and smiled down at him. Geez, everyone was just loving monsters these days, huh?

“See you in a bit, love,” Gloam said as Rig walked off back toward the hatch with a wave.

“Rig seems real nice,” I said to Gloam with a small smile. He gave me a big, fanged grin that somehow radiated love. “He is wonderful.”

“I don’t say this to unnerve you, Charlie, but… be careful with Moth.” I stared at him. “Why?” He grimaced. “He is… He seems to care for this camp. And these raiders.” I snorted at that. “One raider in particular, by the looks.” Gloam paused, then let out a sad chuckle. “Indeed. He certainly pines for Ghost. He knows what Aury would do if he ever tried anything though.”

I swallowed at that. “Yeah, everyone’s acting like Aury is this… big, terrifying beast. He seems kinda shy. And quiet.” Gloam gave me a small smile. “He is a gentle soul. You don’t need to worry about your friends remaining here while you’re gone.” I nodded, pursing my lips. “But, so… what were you saying about Moth?” I looked at him. “Should I be worried?” Gloam sighed. “Maybe not. As I said, he does seem to care for these people. But he… There are things about him that they don’t know.” I stared. “What things?” Gloam shook his head. “It’s not my place. They are his secrets. His burdens.” He reached over, across the space Rig had previously occupied, and took my arm in a gentle grip. “Just be careful. Never put your complete trust in him,” he said in a low voice, then released my arm and shrugged. “Perhaps I’m wrong, but I wouldn’t have wanted you to leave without at least telling you to… keep your guard up.”

“And at least you’ll be in the company of a half monster out there. He should understand their actions and customs better than others. That will help.” I gave a polite chuckle. “Yeah.” But as he started to walk away toward the hatch, his words registered properly. I turned to stare at the big black spot on the back of his bald head. “Wait, what?”

Everyone just fucking loved the new human in the camp. Edin’s surly human lover didn’t really speak to anyone or make an effort to ingratiate himself with the raiders, but the one with dark hair and grey eyes—Charlie—seemed to effortlessly draw attention and make people want to flock to him. With his big, stupid smile and smooth, low voice with a southern accent.

My face burned as Hunter and Edin fussed over me like I was their only child getting ready to go on his first school field trip.

He was irritatingly attractive. Even the back of him was. The wide shoulders and long legs. The sword. Why was the sword so hot? He should have looked like a douche.

“If any of you survive, maybe you’ll learn to just leave people alone.” His voice was steady, and his face was almost emotionless when he turned and walked back toward me.

“Why does me not talking mean you have to hum the same fucking song for miles?” he snapped. Anger flared, but I pushed it down and chuckled. “I can switch it up. Hum something else. Any requests?” “Is silence an option?” “Nope,” I said cheerfully. “Either we talk, or I hum. Or I can sing?” “No,” he barked, then let out an irritable huff. “What do you even want to talk about? We don’t know each other. We’re not doing this to form a lifelong fucking friendship.”

He was a moody asshole, but he was a fucking beautiful one. Attraction curled low in my belly, despite his attitude and the fact that he was clearly in love with an already-attached raider.

Moth managed to take a few out in the air when they leapt at us, slicing them cleanly in half with his sword. I refused to be impressed, even as my gut tightened at the sight of it. Seriously, why was the sword so freaking hot?

He glanced over at me with a tiny, wry smile, but it dropped when his eyes darted to my mouth. He flushed and looked away again quickly as my gut gave a little swoop. Yeah, I was attracted to Moth, even though he was an asshole most of the time and in love with a raider. And I was pretty sure that he was attracted to me too, even just a little. I was also pretty sure that he hated it.

I looked around, spotting the hilt of Moth’s sword first through the crowd. He was at a stall, with his head bent as he looked over whatever they were selling—I couldn’t see from here—and strands of his white hair had slipped loose from his braid to brush his high cheekbones. My gut panged with attraction again, but I ignored it and nodded toward him. “Him.”

“I—” I didn’t know how to answer that, and I was getting angry at the thought of these people refusing Moth service just because he was half monster. “He’s my friend,” I said again, more defensively this time. “He’s a good guy.”

“You got me a scarf?” I let out a blissful sigh, my warm breath heating my cold chin and nose under the fabric. “Thanks, Moth.” He grunted, pale eyes flashing to me before he started walking again. “So you stop bitching about being cold.”

“They both seemed to be worried about you doing this,” Moth said eventually. I could detect the bitter edge to his words, but I knew what the cause of it was. “Him and Edin.” I chuckled. “Yeah, they’re both pretty overbearing. Together they’re like… one big ball of arrogant, overwhelming energy.”

Moth looked over at me then, brows pulled down. “You couldn’t tell there was something when you saw me?” I could, but again, I didn’t want to say that. “I was mainly distracted by how hot you were,” I said in a joking tone—but it wasn’t entirely a joke. The visible part of Moth’s face flamed pink. He didn’t seem to know how to respond for a few seconds, but then he snorted and muttered, “Whatever.” I shrugged and chuckled, trying to ignore the way my heart was beating a little faster. “Just calling it like I see it.”

All anger fled. I couldn’t stop myself from striding forward and pulling him into a hard hug, holding my gun down at my side. “Fuck, are you okay?” I asked worriedly. “What happened? Where did you go?” Moth was stiff in my arms, but he briefly wrapped them around me to return the hug before stepping back. “I’m sorry,” he said desperately, which made me go completely still with shock. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean to leave you.” His eyes were sincere, face tight with worry as he stared at me. I tugged him further in so the doors could shut behind him, blocking out the howling wind and some of the chill.

I tried to unclench my jaw and relax my face, but my gut was swirling with unease and anger and confusion. “I’m sorry,” I heard Moth whisper. My brows pinched. He sounded… broken. Defeated, like he was fully aware that I didn’t trust him anymore and he hated it. Which made no fucking sense. “Will you tell me where you went?” I asked, voice still tight. There was silence for a long moment. “I can’t,” he said hoarsely. “But I didn’t want to go. I wouldn’t—I didn’t want to just leave you, Charlie. I mean it.”

That just made me more confused. I frowned harder and turned my head to look at him. He still looked miserable, and more vulnerable now he was curled up on his side. “Are you going to fuck me over?” I asked, staring him down. “No,” he said straight away, brows pinching as he stared back at me, like he was trying to show me he was sincere.

I let out a breath. “Did you disappear to do something awful? Like… murder puppies or something? Or is it a monster thing?” “It’s a monster thing,” he mumbled, then leaned up on one elbow. “It might happen again. I’m sorry if it does. But I promise I’ll come back, Charlie. I’m not going to leave y...

I stared at him hard for long, silent moments. “Did you drop out of the fucking sky?” His eyes darted to the doors. “What?” I gestured behind me. “There are no tracks, then suddenly your handprints appear. Like you just fell out of the sky.”

I tried not to stare at him. His face was faintly flushed from both the booze and being scrubbed clean. His hair was wet and braided back again. The firelight flickered over the tattoos on his neck and long fingers. My gut clenched with want, but I tamped it back. It was stupid to want him. I couldn’t even trust him. But he was just… so freaking beautiful. He still looked slightly inhuman, but that didn’t put me off. It just made him even more interesting to look at.

He snorted again and lazily turned his head to look at me. His eyes were glassy and a little unfocused, but they roamed over my face. “Doesn’t it worry you?” he asked. “Being out here with a half monster?” That wasn’t what worried me. “No,” I said. “It doesn’t worry me that you’re half monster.” “So you really don’t care?” His words were a little slurred. “That I’m not all human?” “No,” I told him. “I really don’t.”

“I don’t freak you out?” Moth’s question pulled me out of my thoughts, making me realise I’d been staring back at him. I snorted and looked away. “No, you don’t freak me out, Moth.”

“Most humans think I’m…” He shrugged awkwardly. “Attractive or whatever at first, but when they get closer, they get this… I don’t know. Repulsed look on their face, like they can’t work out what’s wrong with me, but they know there’s something.” “There’s nothing wrong with you,” I said immediately, brows pinching into a frown. “Fuck anyone who looks at you like that, Moth.” He exhaled and lifted the bottle to have another swig, muttering, “Everyone looks at me like that.” “You’re not repulsive,” I said incredulously. “Even with your shitty attitude,” I added in a teasing tone to try and make him feel better. He just huffed, staring down at the bottle again, his long, tattooed fingers picking at the peeling label.

“Well, I think it’s awesome,” I said, dropping my hand from his back. “You being half monster, I mean. Nothing wrong with being different.” Although that was easy for me to say—I’d never really had to deal with any kind of prejudice. I flushed at my insensitive words, but Moth just snorted. “Sure.”

His back was to me, and before I could stop them, my eyes slid down his frame. His arms and back were covered in tattoos, most in black ink, but there was a line of symbols down his spine that looked like scarification. The skin between all the ink looked faintly scaly—it shimmered slightly pink in the candlelight, interspersed with sections of smooth pale skin in patches.

Oh—and he had a tail. Partially hiding a tight, firm ass, it was thicker at the base below his tailbone, before thinning off into a narrow point. It reached about halfway down his thighs, which were strong with toned muscle and covered in scales that turned beige and faint purple in places. His feet were completely inhuman, the scales thicker and more pronounced. They arched a little at the heels and had three long, thick toes with black claws.

“I’ll sleep on the couch,” I said eventually, voice husky. “Just shut up and get in the bed, Charlie,” Moth snapped, voice thick with anger and embarrassment. “Unless the thought of sleeping next to me makes you feel sick.” “Jesus Christ, it’s not that,” I blurted, padding closer. “I just don’t want to make you more uncomfortable.” Moth was quiet for a long time. Eventually he burrowed deeper under the blanket and tucked his chin down. “Just go to sleep,” he said quietly, which made me bite my lip.

I wanted to apologise again. To tell him that there was nothing wrong with him. God, I couldn’t believe he’d even considered the idea of sleeping next to him would make me feel sick.

Except my attraction to him was growing. A lot. Not because of the inhuman parts of him I’d seen, and not in spite of them either. I’d always been attracted to people, not specific genders or body types. And even though Moth was a complicated, prickly, difficult ass, I was wildly attracted to him.

I knew he was attracted to me too. I was certain of it by this point. At first, after we’d left his safehouse, he’d given me wary glances like he was still waiting for me to bring up what I’d seen. Like he was waiting for me to ask him what the fuck was going on with him in disgust or something.

My body had decided it wanted Moth and only Moth right now. Too bad that was never going to fucking happen. Not unless I made the first move, and I had absolutely no idea how to approach him like that. I highly doubted he’d be receptive if I blurted out, ‘Hey, want to fuck?’