More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
“You will fall. You will fall many times. Sometimes the fall will hurt more than you ever thought possible and you will feel like you don’t want to get back up. Like right now, for example. But you will, and when you do, you will be stronger.”
“He saved me from myself,”
“If you’re aware that what you’re doing is wrong, why do you continue to do it to yourself? Why haven’t you tried to work on getting better?” There wasn’t judgment in his question. Just the need to understand. My forehead scrunched up. “Because I’m scared.”
“I don’t want to talk about what happened. I don’t want to remember how he hurt me and how he killed them.”
would talking about it and trying to work through what you went through make things any worse than they already are?” I shook my head. “I’m not brave enough to do it.”
I said we would help you, but you have to want to help yourself.”
“I need to go back to therapy.” He went still. “I think that’s a good idea.”
“Just don’t shut us out. You are not alone anymore. You suffer, we suffer.”
“I get that this is what’s best for her, but tomorrow, I want you to tell me what you said or did to help her sleep,” I heard Creed say from the hall in a low voice.
“Don’t lead her on only to pull away because you think it’s for the best.” “I won’t,” Knox said. “I’m serious, Knox,”
“And you don’t get to decide what’s best for me without talking to me first, because at the end of the day, I know what I’m ready for or what I can handle. Not any of you.”
“So none of you talked about halting all intimacy with me because the four of you assumed I can’t handle it right now?”
“Then why don’t you include me when it involves me?”
“I’m not someone who needs to be managed or told how things are going to be because the four of you think you know best. If that’s what you expect, I can’t do this,” I said and moved to leave.
“And before you say that I haven’t been the easiest to talk to, that was when you were trying to get me to talk about not sleeping. I have never avoided talking about our relationship. In fact, I have asked you to talk to me about it.” I looked at Creed. I’d asked him at Ethan’s party.
“You made me feel like I don’t have a voice in this relationship. What’s good about that?”
“Your voice matters,” he said. “I’m sorry we didn’t talk to you.” “Do you not feel comfortable being intimate with me because I’m a mess?”
“I love that you tried to put my well-being first. I really do. I can’t even describe how wonderful it is to have that, but that doesn’t mean you get to decide what you think is best for me and expect me to be alright with it without talking to me first.”
You ran instead of talking to us, which was something you were mad at us for not doing.”
“First of all, I was mad at all of you, and second, if it had been Mr. X, he would have killed you to get to me. I had to separate myself from you.”
“I find it hypocritical that you're mad at us for making decisions about you when you turn around and do the same exact thing.”
“I fucked up and I promise not to make decisions that involve you without talking to you first, so long as you promise to do the same.”
“If that fucker ever shows up, we run together or we fight together, but more importantly, we protect each other together. Promise me, Shi.” “I promise.”
know this is going to sound bad, but I was alright with hurting myself. I wasn’t alright hurting any of you.”
I screamed and Keelan threw me on the couch and covered me with his body. The alarm in the house started blaring.
“Wow,” I huffed out between breaths. He gave me this cocksure smirk. “I know.” I grabbed my pillow and hit him with it as I tried not to laugh.
He didn’t chase me. Did that mean I already had my answer? I thought it did. I backed away and left.
Bad actions have consequences. As a cop, you should understand that.
“I could arrest you right now. I would tell everyone you attacked me when all I tried to do was apologize. My daughter's charges will be thrown out by Monday,” he said in a low voice. “I'm so glad you just said that,” I forced out through the strain of holding the door. “Why’s that?” “Because I just got that on camera,”
He stood straight. “You don’t know what you’ve just done, little girl,” he seethed down at me. “You show anyone that camera footage, I will hang you from the nearest tree and make it look like a suicide.” “Get out of my house,” I bit out. My lip hurt with every word.
“Fucking Christ, you have the worst fucking luck,” he cursed. “How badly did he hit you? Did you lose consciousness at all?”
“He dragged me through her blood. He purposely slowed so I would see her—see that she was dead. He did it to break me because the main reason I was fighting so hard to escape was to get her help.”
“Whatever you say, Pennywise,”
“I may be young, but I wouldn’t give someone my time if they hadn’t earned it. Especially with everything I’ve been through,” I said, walking past him.
“Would your sudden change of heart about therapy have to do with the boys next door?” he asked. “They encouraged me to go back,” I admitted.
By having my scars out for them to see, I think it reassures them they aren’t alone.”
“Never take the obvious road. It’s why X caught you every time you tried to escape through the front door. You need to teach your mind to slow down when you’re in danger and think.”
“If I skipped out on things every time something upset me, I’d never get to do anything.” I shook my head. “No. I enjoy teaching the class with you and I don’t want to miss it.”
“You must really have your panties in a twist about something.”
“You said to me once that you only apologize to people you care about. You never came to me. You didn’t try to make things right with me. Or was avoiding me your way of telling me you didn’t want to?” He looked away and I felt my heart crack. “Did the other morning mean anything to you?” I asked. “Yes,” he said. “It did.” “Then why? Is it because I refused to sit back and let you dictate what’s best for me?” “No.” “Damn it, Knox!” I exploded, moving closer to him, leaving only the desk between us. “Use your fucking words and tell me why you don’t want me!” Anger etched his features. “I want
...more
“If your relationship with them doesn’t work or if it causes a rift between them, they’re going to need someone who wasn’t involved to bring them back together,” he finally admitted.
I wasn’t worth the risk to him and what was really messed up was that I couldn’t be mad at him for it. He was ensuring his family wasn’t going to fall apart. “Thank you for telling me,” I forced out and numbly walked out the door.
“We need to get ahead of this sheriff and we need to do it quickly, because it won't be long before he comes after you again.”
“You going to tell her why you pulled her over?” “Speeding,” the cop lied. I had just pulled out of my neighborhood. I hadn’t had time to get my car up to the speed limit before they’d pulled me over. “What’d you clock her at?” Logan asked. “License and registration,” the cop barked again. I wiggled my fingers at Logan. He had told me to cooperate, but here he was not doing that. Logan gave me the registration, but handed it over with his badge as well. I handed them, along with my ID, to the cop. “You two with the sheriff’s department?” Logan asked. “That’s correct,” the cop at my window
...more
“I’m just so tired of missing out on things because of him. When I do, he wins. I don’t want him to win anymore.”
“I wouldn’t say rock bottom. We wouldn’t have let you get that far,” he said. “I didn’t want to live anymore, Creed,” I admitted. His hand tightened around mine. Guilt hit me. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”
“Don’t ever be sorry for telling me what you’re going through. I’m so fucking happy you’re finally opening up. It just breaks my heart that you ever felt that way.”
Knox explained that their father owned a construction company. They had sold it and used the money to buy the gym. That was new information to me.
That means I need to know who you let into your life,” he snapped. “The last thing we need is for history to repeat itself.”
“You think I let him into my life so he could stalk me for years and murder my family?”
