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“You sound like children negotiating over who gets to play with the toy next.”
“She’s extremely innocent and the three of you horny shitheads are going to try to share her between you?” He shook his head. “You’ll end up traumatizing her more than she already is.”
“Fine.” He leaned back in his chair and propped his ankle on his knee. “I’m looking forward to telling Logan that we’re lovers.”
was Logan’s choice.” He let out a sigh. “I know it’s scary, but—” I whirled around to face him. “You don’t know!” His eyes widened at my outburst. “You have no fucking clue how scary it is,” I seethed. “Logan is all I have left.” “With your uncle’s help we might be able to catch X.”
Logan had told me that Ian had called him in. He had made it seem like he’d had no choice. He had lied to me.
“X has killed six girls in less than a year. I will take all the help I can get.” My stomach dropped. “Six?” “He’s killed two more girls since we last spoke.” “I only knew of the one you told me about,” I said. “It wasn’t public knowledge that the first three were connected. They happened in different states.”
“Your picture has been stapled to all the victims’ faces.
“His face has been plastered all over the news, yet no one has seen him. He’s evaded everything we’ve tried to catch him. By pure luck, one officer stumbled upon him, and X killed him.”
“So he’s become a serial killer.”
“For what it’s worth, leaving you was probably the hardest thing Logan’s ever had to do.” As he walked out, he added, “You’re all he has, too.”
“They feel so real. It’s getting harder to tell where they end and reality begins.” Colt ran a hand down the back of my head. “Your nightmares?” I nodded against his shoulder. “I wish I didn’t have to sleep.”
“I feel like a freak at the circus.” “I’d pay to see your act,” Keelan said and the tightness in my chest eased a little.
“My nightmares are mostly of the night my family was murdered. I don’t even like to think about that night, let alone talk about it.”
“Just because you don’t want to think about that night doesn’t mean it didn’t happen,” he said bluntly. That had been the last thing my psychiatrist had said before I’d closed my computer on her and never attended therapy again.
“We all have to face our pain, Shiloh. If you don’t, you won’t find a way to accept it and you’ll never be able to move on.”
“Oh wow! You look like Jessica Rabbit and a vampire had a baby.”
“How does this dress make you feel? Because that’s what really matters. Not what you’re trying to be, but how you feel in it.”
Their smirks dropped. “Normally Knox is on the receiving end of that look,” Creed grumbled. “It’s funnier when it happens to him,” Colt said.
“Think it’s the red hair?” Colt shrugged. “Redheads have been known to have fiery attitudes.”
“No. Big houses have many faults.” Like if you scream, no one will hear you. My hands clenched into fists at my sides and I chastised myself for letting my thoughts go there.
“You should know that since you’ve already called me your girlfriend, I’ve claimed the title and there are no take-backs.”
have to say, I’m liking this naughty side of you.” “I’m not naughty,” I protested. “You left the house without your panties, Shi. Sounds like you’ve made some naughty decisions today,” Creed teased.
“Why can’t this stuff you speak of wait until you’re sober?” Creed asked. “Why take the risk of crossing a line?” “That’s a very good point. I wish my hormones understood that right now,” I said.
My knuckles turned white and my nails dug into my palms until it hurt. Physical pain always felt better than what I was feeling on the inside.
I am disturbingly unfazed by what he tried to do to me.” My tone had turned bitter and there was no hiding my irritation. “I was terrified at the time. But there are different levels of terror. Ones that will leave scars on your soul forever and completely break your sanity.
Stephanie looked back and forth between Keelan and me as I took her gift from Keelan’s hands. “Does she live here or something? Why do you need to ask her where to put your gifts in your own home?” She let out a dry laugh like she found it funny.
“Shiloh busted her ass to make today extra special for me. It makes her happy for everything to have a place and what makes her happy makes me happy.”
“You thought I would cheat on you?” I was crushed. I shouldn’t have been surprised. I had feelings for Keelan, and I’d acted on them once with a kiss. The damage had been done, and I’d lost their trust. “What?” Colt asked, looking perplexed. I looked down at the floor. If he and Creed couldn’t trust me, how was our relationship going to work?
“When something is appealing to the eye, people are more inclined to eat it,” I explained. “I couldn’t agree more, gorgeous,” Micah said, taking a sip of his beer with a sly grin. Knox shot Micah a look, the corner of his mouth tugged upward. Did he…he wasn’t talking about food. “I swear, you Stone boys really love to make things dirty.”
“I can’t believe you’ve got Knox fooled. He’s pretty good at sniffing out bullshit. I guess jailbait pussy can make even a man like Knox overlook shit.”
Stephanie needs to take a hike
Knox’s signature frown surfaced as he looked back at her. “Maybe she’s putting on a bullshit act?” I watched the blood drain from Stephanie’s face. “Not that it matters to me,” he said, his tone turning cold. “Apparently all I care about is what’s between her legs.” Panic filled her wide eyes. “Knox—” “Don’t bother,” he snapped at her. “I heard everything.” “I—” she started to say. “You should leave,” he cut her off again.
“I have medicine in my bathroom. You should have stayed put,” he snapped. I turned to face him fully. “Are you mad at me for not being psychic?” Keelan chose that moment to come inside from the backyard. He looked from me to Knox, reading the tension, and wisely stayed quiet. Knox ignored Keelan and glared down at me. “No. I’m mad about what just happened. How long has that been going on?” I sighed and walked away into the kitchen. “Shiloh?” Knox pushed, following me. “How long has Stephanie been treating you like that?” “Stephanie?” Keelan said. “We’ll talk about it later,” Knox said to him.
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“IT. Shayla was terrified of clowns. So because my beautiful, brave, and tough-as-nails sister couldn’t handle watching it and I could, it gave me this twisted joy.”
That night I slept a broken three hours and barely an hour the next night. Every time I dozed off, I was back in that house, watching my family die. I felt like I was stuck in a nonstop cycle of fear, pain, and blood. What upset me the most was that I was too exhausted to run.
“Running, smoking, drinking—everything you do to escape is all temporary. Eventually, they won’t be enough to block out what you’re refusing to deal with.”
“I see you fading away, baby girl. You’re going fast and it’s scaring the shit out of me.”
“When we came in this morning, I found her letter of resignation on my desk,” Knox said. That felt a little anticlimactic. “Good riddance.” Keelan snorted. “I thought you said if you didn’t have anything nice to say, you wouldn’t say anything at all?” Knox stared at Keelan with a pensive expression. “When has she ever done that?” “That rule doesn’t apply to you,” I grumbled, making Keelan laugh and Knox roll his eyes. “And that was the least mean thing I could say about her.” “Someone’s a little grumpy,” Keelan teased. “She hasn’t slept in almost a week, what did you expect?” Knox snapped.
“Are you that much in denial or do you think I’m stupid?” he snapped, his voice taking an angry tone he’d used with others but never with me.
“I’m not trying to fight with you!” he bellowed, cutting me off. “I want you to fucking talk to me. You haven’t let Creed and I sleep over in almost a week. You’ve been pushing us away and lying every time we try to get you to talk to us. You. Are. Not. Fine. Stop telling us that. We can all see that you’re not and that something is wrong.” I was so taken aback, I was at a loss for words.
“You’re not being fair. You’re making us watch you suffer and you won’t let us help you. How would you feel if one of us did that to you?”
I deserved Colt’s anger. I deserved Creed’s frustration. I was a coward.
What did I just do?
“I deserve to be punished.” His eyes narrowed as he studied me for a moment. “Is there something going on with you I should know about? I know you lost your family and that would be extremely hard on anyone, especially someone as young as you.”
“You were giving me the shame on you look and needed to be called out.”
“My mother used to run her fingers through my hair,” I said sleepily. She’d done it to calm me and it had always worked, just like it was working now. I thought I heard him say, “I know,” just before I tumbled off the edge and fell into a dark pit of sleep.
“That’s the thing. You aren’t dealing with anything.”
“You’re spiraling, Shiloh. If you don’t fucking admit it and let us help you, we’re done,” Knox said. His threat almost knocked me off my feet.
“I will not sit back and watch you hurt my brothers because you refuse to help yourself.” I stumbled back a step. His words really did feel like physical blows to my soul.
I ran to my bedroom and ripped open my closet. I crawled all the way to the back corner, under a section of hanging clothes. I brought my knees to my chest and I gave up.
“If you give up, he wins. We can’t let him win. You are strong enough to withstand this.” “I don’t think I am.”
