A Risk on Forever

by N.S. Perkins

The more time passed, and the more I felt the temptation to break my only rule, consequences be damned.

I couldn’t get her out of my head. There was no denying it anymore. Every time we interacted, she occupied a bigger part of my mind, and I feared she would continue to do so until she’d invaded all of it.

Ever since our phone conversation yesterday, I couldn’t get him out of my head. I didn’t know if it was the way he’d looked, all laid-back and wearing casual clothes in his hotel room, or if it was how he’d opened up to me, but ever since, he’d invaded my brain every time I let my mind wander.

Then, our eyes met, and our smiles slowly died. We could still hear Helen cackling behind us in the foyer, but the only sounds coming from us were shallow breaths. His eyes lowered to my mouth as his index finger traced my bottom lip.

I had no idea how we’d gotten in this position, but Matthias was now lying on top of me, his rock-hard body pressed against mine, and I was pretty sure I could feel how being on top of me made him feel.

Ready for your second Helen Advice? This one is probably my favorite. Never forget to have fun.

Life can get in the way of your happiness so easily, you don’t notice it has happened until you can’t remember the last time you had a good laugh. And I can’t stress enough how important it is to laugh.

Without fun, you’ll never find true happiness. You might have all the money in the world, a nice family, and a bunch of cars in the driveway, but you w...

Sunsets had always brought a sense of peace to me. They were constant and repetitive, yet always somehow unique, ending each and every day on a high note.

Sometimes, the best way to care for someone is to try your best and show them your love and support. The little mistakes don’t matter when your intentions are pure.

If you give it your all and try your best, the people you love won’t remember the mistake, but the effort you made to prevent it or to right your wrongs.

He’d come all the way here to take my little brother to a plane during what I assumed was his day off? I didn’t think this man could still surprise me, yet he kept doing so.

I lifted my eyes back to his, finding that they were not black after all. From up close, it was actually possible to discern the deep chocolate of his irises from the ebony of his pupils. His lashes were impossibly long, and I found myself wondering for a second how they would feel against my skin.

The whole thing had lasted less than a second, but I’d felt it everywhere.

“When are you getting married?” I lifted both eyebrows. “What do you mean?” He rolled his eyes like this was the most stupid question he’d ever heard. “You and Matt, when are you getting married?”

“Never? We’re not even together! Why would you ask that?” He yawned and closed his eyes before turning his back to me. I thought this was it, but as I got up again, he floored me with his answer. “Because he looks at you the way Daddy used to look at Mommy.”

SCREAMING

I opened my mouth and closed it repeatedly, unable to find the right words. Matthias didn’t look at me like that. I would’ve noticed if he did.

But, as I walked toward the bedroom door, there was still something about Louis’ words that sparked a feeling in my chest. I didn’t know if it was ...

You’ll never get what you want if you don’t work for it. Nothing in this world comes for free, and the best thing you can do for yourself is work your butt off for what you believe in. Fight, tooth and nail, for the people you love.

Sometimes, there are no right and wrong choices. You have to choose the lesser of two evils, knowing that whatever you decide, hearts will break.

Know that through all the time we spent together, it has never been my intention to hurt you with my choices. And, if it ever happened in the process, I deeply apologize. Loving you sometimes made it harder to come to a resolution.

He smirked. “I’m full of secrets.” With a wink, he added, “Who knows, maybe one day you’ll learn a few.”

Sir?

I wasn’t sure about it before, but now I knew. I wanted to learn all those secrets. I wanted to know him like I knew myself. I wanted to be close to him, to feel close to him.

What I was feeling might have been more than a simple...

“You think I h-h-haven’t noticed how you act around her? How I’ve seen you smile more in the past three months than in the last five years?”

I love you Helen

Matthias wouldn’t look away, and I wouldn’t either. While the two-hundred-something pairs of eyes in the room were set on the glowing bride, his was on me.

But, with the way he was looking at me, I didn’t just feel good. I felt prodigious. And so, for the next minute and a half, I sang to him about the impossibility of not falling in love with someone. I’d never sang anything truer.

We’d been stealing glances all night, but this was the first time we were this close, and it made my blood run hotter than it ever had.

It was like his eyes were an inferno, and I was a moth drawn to the flames.

Before I’d even had the time to put the glass back down on the table, Matthias’ chair was scraping against the beige tiled floor. He was suddenly standing, looking down at me with an extended hand. “Dance with me?”

I had no idea why I’d just done that. Actually, that wasn’t true. I knew exactly what had forced the words out of my mouth. She was so adorable, taking the most ginormous bites of cake for such a small person. And simply put, I hadn’t been able to keep my eyes off her ever since she’d appeared on the side stage at the front of the church earlier today.

So when I got the chance to get close to her for a few minutes, even if it was in the context of a dance, I took it.

In the brief moment of silence between songs, she leaned her head on my shoulder, her stomach inching even closer to mine, and I had to focus not to let my body react to hers being so close.

As I held her between my arms, it dawned on me: I wanted that type of love for her. I had no idea if she’d had boyfriends before, or if she’d ever been in love, but I wanted her to feel it. I wanted her to have it all.

As I downed my drink, I found myself thinking I could understand her father. This moment we’d just shared would forever be embedded in my mind. And if I knew I’d never see Addy again, there would be no listening to that song without feeling my stomach twist in pain.

Don’t repeat my mistakes. I ask you—beg you—to tell the people you love that you do. Don’t keep this to yourself. I know it can be scary, to live in the risk, but I can assure you that it can’t be worse than not knowing what might have happened if you’d had the courage to act on your feelings.

I did have it bad. Ever since the wedding, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Matthias.

How he’d made me feel comfortable enough to talk to him. How he’d listened to me without saying useless things. How it had felt when he’d touched me, like his hands were searing through my skin, marking me forever. How I’d felt like he couldn’t get close enough. How I’d woken up during the night after dreaming of his mouth worshipping my body, my pajamas drenched.

“When will you finally understand that you could never impose?” He walked toward the front door and opened it, motioning for us to follow him outside. “I love Louis, and I’m sure he’d love to come with us. I can even give him my headpiece so he’ll feel included in our amazing costumed gang!”

THIS MAN

I didn’t think there could be anything sexier than Matthias taking the lead and asking me to dance with him at a wedding, but looking at him right now, in his stupid lobster shirt, saying that he loved my little brother topped it.

“When are you going to marry my sister?”

“I thought maybe one day, we could form a special family together. You, just your mom, me, Addy, and my daddy. It would be awesome.”

He was so utterly beautiful, with his shiny white smile and tanned skin, I could erupt in flames right there on my kitchen floor.

I glanced in his direction and noticed for the first time how soft his lips looked. It was like every time I saw him, I discovered something new about him that made him more handsome, more perfect.

However, I hope you know now that your big heart has never been and will never be a weakness. It is one of your greatest strengths, no matter how badly you might want to stop caring sometimes. I don’t know that many people who have a heart as big as yours, which our society definitely needs.

never let the world ruin your heart of gold. No matter how much pain you go through, no matter what is thrown your way, no matter how people treat you, just don’t lose it. You might want to give it up for some bad people, but they’re not worth it. With love and empathy, you can never lose.

“You should see yourself whenever he walks in the room. It’s like there’s a light that g-g-gets turned on inside of you. You literally glow. There are h-hearts in your eyes and everything.”

Did I really look like that? I didn’t think I was this obvious, but then, I did feel that way when he was around. Like everything was easier, prettier, better.

“That man has his flaws and c-comes with baggage, but there’s literally n-nothing he wouldn’t do for those he loves.”

“You have no idea how happy it makes me, knowing that once I’m gone, he’ll have you.”