He Who Fights with Monsters 4 (He Who Fights with Monsters, #4)

by Shirtaloon

“You are a fool to reject our entreaties, Mr Asano,” the leader said. “I was already a fool, Mr Li, so it wasn’t out of my way.”

The American’s accent was not the result of a translation power, however. It was the classic mid-Atlantic banality, designed not to offend anyone yet slightly annoying everyone.

Making selfish choices is your country’s political doctrine at this point.”

It’s held together by integrity, and I’m all about integrity.” “You are?” Farrah asked. “Yep. When I sell out my principles, they stay sold.

“Friends don’t count favours,” Jason said. “They just show up.”

“Affliction specialists are kind of a waste at low rank.”

“Come, on, Greg. If all your friends are cool, what does that say about you?” “That they need a designated driver.”

“You want me to be a propaganda tool?” “How else do you expect to get through to people?” Jason asked. “Facts and reasoned argument?”

“I could call myself Barry Van Dyke,” Jason said. “That doesn’t mean I replaced Jan Michael Vincent in the lead for the fourth series of Airwolf.”

“Super god?” Erika asked. “Yep,” Jason said. “Regular gods are more along the lines of your Zeus, Thor, Brian Dennehy, etc.”

“Very small isn’t nothing,” Jason said. “We’re totally going to save the universe, which will totally get me some action. I’ll be all ‘hey, ladies, I’m the guy who saved the universe,’ and they’ll be all ‘that sounds like hot nonsense, but you’re way better looking than Kaito, so let’s make out.’ Then I’ll be all ‘I can’t do that; I respect women,’ and they’ll be all ‘it’s totally our choice.’ Since I’m all about female agency, I have to go along with it at that point because it’s the feminist thing to do, so we’ll go the supermarket and buy all the whipped cream…”

“I have no idea what that means,” Farrah said. “People always say to that to me. And they keep telling me my name. I meet someone and they’re all ‘you’re Jason Asano.’ It’s like I’m a soap opera character that was presumed dead and then came back with amnesia and was played by a different actor.”

“I was already hitting the books,” Jason said. “I don’t have to change anything there. I definitely haven’t been slacking off to read Farrah’s sex magic book, especially not the thing on page forty-one with the chilled fruit.” “This world is doomed,” Dawn muttered.

Emi picked up the coin and peered at it. “Uncle Jason, this has your old chin.”

I’ve learned that successful relationships require a balanced power dynamic.

“And how did you become so wise all of a sudden?” “The usual way,” he said. “I made a lot of mistakes.”

“Just give it a few more years of standing in the corner,” Greg said. “Piling onto yourself will be what passes for date night.” “Ew.”