The Ruins of Us (Stolen Moments #3)

by Catharina Maura

The city I ran away to has become home to me. It doesn’t feel like it’s been eight years, though. Not even remotely.

8????????? WHAT???

Even the memory of home still ruins my mood. The memory of everything I lost, everything I left behind. I’ve worked so hard to build myself a new life, one I can be proud of, yet I still don’t think I’m strong enough to go back. It still hurts too much.

I thought I’d become a spinster too. If not for Sam’s persistence, I don’t think I’d ever have dated anyone. Not a single man I met could measure up. I bite down on my lip and force my thoughts away. It’s stupid, but I can’t even think of his name without my heart hurting. Eight years, and I’m still not completely over him.

Sam is a doctor specializing in neurosurgery — he’s far busier than I’ve ever been, yet he nods in understanding.

Sam shakes his head, and my eyes roam over his bright green eyes and his sandy brown hair. He looks as tired as I probably do, yet he’s smiling up at me with so much love in his eyes. How did I get this lucky? I need to do better. Sam deserves the world, and it’s past time I try to give it to him. I can’t keep living in the past.

I’ve got all the money in the world, yet I can’t get him a kidney transplant. Not legally, anyway. I’m not above sourcing one elsewhere if he doesn’t have one when time starts to run out. There isn’t much I won’t do to save his life.

John nods and claps me on the back as he walks me out. “Thank you, Carter,” he says. “You know, I’ve never said this to you, but you’re the son I never had.”

When she’s baking up a storm it usually means she’s worrying about Kate again. Kate moved to London years ago, and part of me wonders if it’s because she wanted to follow Emilia. As far as I’m aware, the two haven’t spoken in years. I wonder why she chose to go there of all places.

of course

“I just want to see you, Princess. I don’t want your kidney, baby girl. I’d never accept, so get that thought right out of your head. I just want to see you.”

and you want her to be with Carter... I see your plans Dad John

Not after everything we put her through. Not after everything my mother and sister have said to her. They broke her spirit right before my eyes, and I stood by and watched it happen.

Am I ready to see her again? For as long as I can remember, she’s been my person. Now all I am to her is someone she used to know.

“It’s time for her to come home.” He says it with such decisiveness that I can’t help but frown. I’d like to think he just wants her back here because he’s sick and he misses her, but I know him better than that. No, he’s got something up his sleeve, and I have a feeling it involves both Emilia and me.

Oh, I'm sure about it

Carter has been a pillar of support unlike no other. He’s built me an entire treatment room with every piece of equipment I could ever need, so I don’t need to travel outside of town for my treatments. He’s arranged dieticians and chefs to curate my diet, and he’s given me access to his home gym so I don’t have to walk outside in the cold.

he’s become like a son to me over the last couple of years.” I blink in disbelief. “A son?” I repeat numbly, the mere thought of it horrifying me. Dad chuckles. He looks at me, his eyes twinkling. “Well, sort of,” he says. “I’ll take him as a son-in-law too. I’m not too picky.”

I stare at Dad in disbelief, my heart bursting with longing. Carter...

My eyes open, and my heart stills when they settle on hazel-colored eyes. Somehow, I’m in Carter’s arms, and this time, it’s not a dream.

Emilia is fast asleep in the chair beside John’s, and I can’t tear my eyes away from her. She’s even more beautiful than she used to be, even with those dark circles underneath her eyes. My heart races yet aches at the same time, a thousand different feelings slamming through me.

Just having her back in my arms messes with my heart. All these feelings that I thought were gone came rushing back the second I touched her, and I wish I could just keep her in my arms. I wish the walk to her room was just a little longer.

Emilia drags her nose along my neck and a delicious shiver runs down my spine. I freeze, my eyes falling closed. She sighs and presses a soft kiss to my neck, and I bite down on my lip to suppress a groan. I’m about to put her down on her bed when she wraps her arms around my neck, holding on tightly. For a second I think she’s woken up, but she hasn’t. She’s still asleep,

I’m surprised when Emilia pulls me closer, her lips brushing against mine. Emilia kisses me softly, gently, her lips soft against mine, and I freeze, my entire body tense.

She just got here, so why is she wearing a pencil skirt and a blouse? She can’t be comfortable in that, and the Emilia I used to know never would have travelled wearing something like that.

Emilia nods and looks around the room, her eyes lingering on some of the decorations. Some of it is stuff she bought when we first moved in together, and I could just never bare to get rid of it. I guess I expected a reaction of sorts, because disappointment fills me when I don’t see recognition in her eyes.

I’m dressed appropriately in suit trousers and a blouse, my makeup done perfectly, yet Carter somehow looks disappointed.

There’s something about that look in his eyes that makes me feel like I’m somehow letting him down.

“Yet here we are. Fucking strangers to each other. I always thought I’d one day see you again, and you’d still be mine. We’d still be us.”

you want to discuss kidney donation? For women the main risks relate to childbearing. If you ever want to have children, then that’s something to consider, and it’s something I have to mention, but the risks are low.”

I’m absentminded as I cook, and it isn’t until I put the lasagna in the oven that I realize I made Carter’s favorite food. Or, well, what used to be his favorite food. I have no idea if it still is.

I place the lasagna on the table and my eyes meet Carter’s. For just a second, I see the guy I used to know, the one I used to love. He looks up at me in excitement. It’s an intimate and adoring look, and my heart skips a beat. I blush and look away.

Carter… he’s not Carter Clarke, is he?” Sam asks, sounding tense. I inhale deeply before replying. “I— yes.” “Your ex-boyfriend is the CEO of one of the most influential technology companies of all time? Clarke Reed is headquartered in Woodstock, isn’t it?” he whispers, seemingly more to himself than to me. “Technically, yes. But I don’t care about any of that, Sam. He’s just Carter to me. Besides, I barely even see him. And it’s only you I want, Sam.”

I do trust you, Emilia. But I can’t help but worry, nonetheless. I’d be insecure if he wasn’t who he was. The worst thing is that I actually look up to the guy. The medical research his company is doing is phenomenal, and I hate that, you know? I hate everything about this.”

awwn Sam's so sweet damn

“I love you, too,” I murmur, but for the first time in a long time, I’m questioning my feelings. If I love him like I’ve convinced myself I do, why don’t I miss him? Why don’t I need him when things are so tough? Why don’t I crave his arms?

I lean back against the wall and watch her for just a couple of seconds. I barely even recognize her. She doesn’t smile the way she used to, and she no longer has that mischievous look in her eyes that I used to love about her. It’s like time has chipped away at everything that made her so her. I wonder if she even owns any jeans anymore. I know for a fact that she rarely leaves the house, yet she wears these stuffy clothes and those hot fucking heels every single day.

I recall you lounging in my t-shirts all day, back when we lived together. If I recall correctly, you once tried to convince me that bras are torture devices concocted by misogynists.” My eyes drop to her breasts and I lick my lips. “Looks like you’ve had a change of heart, huh? Here you are, definitely wearing a bra, voluntarily. You certainly don’t need to on my account.”

“Why should I care what she thinks? I’ve only ever had one girlfriend, and it was never her. It never will be, either, and she knows that,” I say. I see the surprise in Emilia’s eyes and I love it.

I’m sure Layla will have told you this, but for women the main risks are related to pregnancy. Are you aware that women who get pregnant after donating a kidney have a lower likelihood of full-term deliveries and a higher likelihood of fetal loss? What about those two kids you told me you wanted to have? A boy and a girl, right?”

don’t give me that crap about your work contract in London. You’re a lawyer. Find a loophole.”

I shake my head and smile at her. Emilia behind the wheel of my Ferrari… I bet that makes for one hell of a sight. “Of course it’s fine, Emilia. It’s a car. It’s for driving.” John chuckles and I turn to glare at him. “I told you,” he says, smiling smugly. “Carter doesn’t mind you driving his cars.” This dick. He knew full well that I don’t like anyone behind the wheel but me. He’s right, though. Oddly enough, I don’t mind it so much when it’s Emilia.

AAAAAAAAAAAA ahahahah I'm loving this book the most

“Since when do you ask for permission to enter the treehouse, Emilia? Since when do you thank me for something so irrelevant?”

I don’t want you to be polite to me. I want the girl that would challenge me over the slightest thing. The girl that loved jeans instead of these damn skirts you wear nowadays.

I look away, unable to hold her gaze. I did this to her. To us. My family and I wrecked her, and all that’s left is the ruins of us.

and I'm crying

I wasn’t there for him, and that’s on me.” My heart fucking shatters. She and I both know why she wasn’t there. I’m the reason she’s stayed away from home for as long as she did. “Emilia, I… please don’t thank me for that. It’s the least I could do. It isn’t enough.”

In addition, I’d be happy to work for you while I’m here. I know it won’t offset my debt to you by much, but every little bit helps, right? I think it’ll help alleviate Dad’s guilt too.”

Emilia walks in, and she freezes when she sees Layla and me standing together. The expression on her face can only be described as utter devastation, and hope soars within me. The look in her eyes… she definitely still cares, and she’s not happy.

She looks at me like she might actually throw something at my head, and I bite back a smile. She’s jealous, and she’s failing to hide it. It’s not often, but every once in a while, that mask of her cracks, and I enjoy watching it happen. I leave my tie undone and lean back in my seat as Emilia approaches my desk.

I take my time studying her. She’s beautiful, and she’s still her. She might be hiding underneath that prim persona she created for herself, but when provoked or hurt, that facade cracks.

I wonder if she still remembers what I told her all those years ago when I first told her about the business ideas I had — that I’d build a huge company, and she’d be my in-house council. The time I get to share with her might very well be short, but part of me is still excited to be living the dream I had years ago.

I belatedly look down at what I’m wearing and blush fiercely. I’m wearing the t-shirt I found in my closet. The one I stole from him years ago. Carter walks up to me, and my heart starts to race. His eyes roam over my body and linger on my bare legs. His t-shirt is long enough to cover me up to mid-thigh. It’s almost like a dress to me, but I really should’ve worn more than panties underneath.

“The man has good taste,” he murmurs. “How could he not, when it’s you he fell for?”

“You love him?” he whispers, and I nod. Carter smiles at me, but there isn’t a trace of humor in his expression. “Does he make you laugh? Does he know how to make you sigh, how to make you moan, how to make you scream his name? Does he bring out your devious side? Does he make you lower that damn shield you’ve put up?”

Carter takes a step away from me and shakes his head. “You don’t love him, Emilia. You want to love him, but you don’t. He doesn’t own you the way I did, and you know it.” Carter walks away and I stare after him, terrified that he might be right.

I love this man