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She has an entire life back in London. A life she’ll go back to, eventually. Where will that leave you? It took you years to get over her, man. I saw you tearing yourself apart for years, burying yourself in more work than any man should reasonably do. For years you were barely even alive. You’re finally at a stage where you’re happy again. I don’t want to see you fall apart, man. Not again,”
I remember Emilia crying her heart out over you and your family. Being with you means she’ll have to confront all of those memories. If she’s with you, she’ll have to smile at your sister and your mom at every single family occasion, even if it kills her. And because it’s Emilia, she will. She’d tear her own heart out if it made you happy. Can you put her through that during every Sunday family dinner? Can you bare the alternative, which would be either you not going at all and letting your mother down, or leaving Emilia at home and making her feel like she’s letting you down? You can’t ask
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omg ASHER????? when did u become this?
“It’s never that simple when it comes to Emilia. Don’t ruin the life she’s so painstakingly built for herself. Don’t pull her back into the life she tried so hard to escape. Don’t seek out hurt, Carter.”
“You’ll get cold,” I whisper, my voice disturbing the tranquility of the night. Carter looks at me like I’m some sort of mirage. The way he’s looking at me makes my heart race. For years I’ve dreamt of him looking at me like that, just one last time. Every single time that he visited me in my dreams, he’d look at me like this, and I’d wake up in tears, knowing it’d never happen again. My heart clenches painfully as Carter raises his hand to my face. He cups my face gently, and I lean into him subconsciously.
You noticed I was upset, huh? No one else did. Not even Asher.
How come you still notice every little thing about me?”
Carter inhales deeply and tightens his grip on me. This moment feels so precious. I can’t remember the last time I wanted a moment to last forever. I guess the last time I felt this way was with Carter too.
“No,” he says eventually. “I haven’t been happy since you walked out of my life, Emilia. I haven’t even truly felt alive since you left.”
It’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. I’m glad you found your happiness, even if it isn’t with me.”
I guess the sayings about first love are true. You never really get over your first love. I don’t know how else to explain the rage I feel at the thought of Carter with someone else.
Logically I know that’s true, yet I can’t think of a time that I wasn’t in love with Carter. Were we ever even truly friends? Even before I realized it, I considered him to be mine. Carter smiles and nods, and that’s that. We’re friends.
“It didn’t mean a thing, Emilia. I won’t lie to you and tell you I didn’t try to fuck you out of my system, because I did. But it didn’t mean a thing. No one but you has ever meant anything to me.” She looks into my eyes, and for the first time since she got here, I see rawness in them. I see her hurt, her jealousy, her longing.
Strong arms wrap around me, and I look up at Carter. He lifts me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me.
He spent all night consoling me. I woke up countless times, bursting into tears all over again, and he was there every single time I woke up. He held me and consoled me until I fell back asleep, over and over again. It’s no wonder he’s exhausted now.
“Minx, I’m glad I was there. I’m glad I was the one to hold you when you fell apart. There’s nowhere else I’d rather have been last night.”
He’s still able to take me from sadness to desire, from pain to happiness, from hopelessness to optimism, all in a couple of seconds. No one else has ever been able to do that to me. I inhale deeply and run a hand through my wet hair.
I’m instantly filled with so much guilt that I physically feel sick. I needed Carter with every fiber of my being last night, and I didn’t even think of Sam. I didn’t, but I should have.
I pull her seat out for her, and she smiles up at me. I don’t know what it is about today, but I’m feeling far more protective than usual. I’m worried about her and I want to be the one that makes her feel better. I don’t want her thinking of anyone but me.
The only other time I’ve ever experienced her crying while fast asleep was when Kate tore her apart. I hate that she’s going through this again. Even worse, yet again, there’s nothing I can do about
Emilia looks at me in surprise, as though she can’t believe I remember that about her — like I could ever forget anything about her. She smiles, and this time, it’s a real smile. It’s that type of intimate smile that we always used to share, the one I didn’t think I’d get to see again.
“Family is at the heart of my company. Family, love, respect. Those are our core values. Until recently I didn’t think you’d be a good fit for us, but I was mistaken. I’m not getting any younger. It’s time for the next generation to take the lead, and I think you’ll achieve exceptional things without losing
Stolen moments… that’s all I’ll ever have of her, but if that’s all I can have, I’ll take it.
“I didn’t work this hard to have cheap champagne,” I tell her, shaking my head. Emilia shrugs,
Whenever she talks about London, her accent turns a little more British, and it’s hot as hell.
“A thief,” I murmur, my fingers tracing over her collarbone. Emilia looks down at the hoodie she stole from me and blushes.
I want more of this. More of these moments with her, where we’re both who we used to be. I want more of these moments where I truly feel happy once again. I can’t help but fear that this bond we seem to have recovered here in New York will fall apart the second we set foot in Woodstock tomorrow.
I bite down on my lip and try to unlock it. I hesitate before trying her old password, a combination of her birthday, mine, and our dating anniversary. Much to my surprise, it unlocks. She’s still using the same code after all these years? I grin to myself and think about all the mayhem I can cause with this knowledge.
Has she really changed that much or was she just different with me?
watch her as she tries to unlock it and succeeds in one go, my password still identical to hers. She looks up at me in wonder for a brief second, and I lean back against the wall as she scrolls through my phone. I know she won’t find a thing.
I’ve missed her. I’ve missed this. Lame jokes and that smile of hers.
Emilia jumps in shock, and it takes her a good couple of seconds to realize that it’s her phone that’s ringing. I burst out laughing, her expression too priceless, and she looks at me. Emilia shakes her head, her lips opening and closing in shock, and then she bursts out laughing too. The two of us just sit there, chuckling like two school kids, Crazy Frog playing in the background. I have a room full of employees staring at us in shock, but I couldn’t care less. This is the happiest I’ve felt in forever.
“Because there is, Princess. I might like him, but he doesn’t make you come alive.
want you to be so happy that it radiates around you, and with Sam, you just appear to be content. I want more for you than that, no matter how good of a guy he might be.”
“You’re still fucking terrifying before you’ve had your coffee in the morning,” he murmurs, and I look up at him in surprise, my lips tipping up in a smile. “I feared for my life in New York, you know?” “Shut up,” I murmur, making him laugh.
“I thought you said that was your cup? Every time I try to use it you throw a fit.” I look at it — truly look at it — and my face drains of color. This… this is the same cup Carter asked me to be his girlfriend with, isn’t it? I look up at him in question, and he looks away, a slight blush tainting his cheeks. “Why do you still have this?” I whisper. He
Carter’s dad, William, rises from his seat when I walk in. He walks up to me and ruffles my hair, and my heart warms. He’s always been as good to me as he could be. Even towards the end he tried his best to remain impartial.
Helen and William don’t make it easy. Both of them keep trying to involve me in the conversation, and it hurts. It hurts that they all moved on with their lives, that they all seem to be so happy after they asked me to rip my heart out for their daughter’s happiness.
I know Dad, and I can hear the unspoken remainder of that sentence. But if she did, she would definitely hate
I know Emilia, and she never takes calls during dinner. She doesn’t even pick up when it’s Sam. Her leaving mid-dinner just now can only mean two things: it’s either truly urgent, or she’s running.
“You know, you’re still the only girl I’ve ever had in this bed,” I murmur, my voice barely above a whisper.
“I… I would like to apologize. I know it’s too little too late, but you deserve an apology. I didn’t want to remind you of the past, so I remained silent earlier, but that isn’t right.
The way I behaved after Kate came home from the hospital — there’s just no excuse for that. I felt like I’d failed as a mother, and rather than take responsibility for that, I looked for someone to blame. And Kate, being as vicious as the drugs had made her… she convinced me it was all your doing, even though I logically knew better.
I’ve always loved you like you were my own, and I still do. Not a day has gone by that I didn’t think of you. I always hoped you were doing well, and every time your dad told me about you, I’d be so proud of you. I want you to know that. I want you to know that I still love you the way I always have, and it won’t make things better, but I live with deep regret over the way I’ve treated you.”
“And you too, Carter. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for asking so much of you. For asking you to sacrifice your relationship with Emilia, when I should have stood with you, when I should have defended both you and Emilia. I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me someday.”
“I actually never even realized I wanted an apology from my Mom, you know? I’ve never consciously blamed her for what happened, but it does feel like a huge weight off my shoulders,” I whisper. Emilia nods and sniffs. “Me too. I just felt… I felt so betrayed. I loved her so much.”
I lift her onto my lap and wrap my arms around her fully, wrapping her in my arms. Emilia rests her head on my shoulder, endless tears still streaming down her face.
I love how he holds hber in his lap everytime she cres
“Just let it all out, Minx. It’s years overdue, just like Mom’s apology. It was just easier to forget about all the ways my family and I wronged you — easier to pretend it never happened. I guess it was easier to live with the guilt that way.” Emilia pulls back to look at me. She shakes her head and looks into my eyes. “Not you, Carter. Never you. You never wronged me.”
“I did. I should’ve chased after you. I should’ve chosen you over everyone else, especially when it was so clear that you never did anyt...
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“I look at you, and I wish you were still mine. I’ve never regretted anything as much as letting you go. You will probably always be the love of my life, but I’m glad that I don’t seem to be yours. I just want you to be happy, Emilia. I’m glad you are.”
Carter is sitting in the seat next to Dad’s, the two of them facing each other, both of them seemingly angry. They’re glaring at each other, and neither one of their expressions improves when they turn to find Sam and me.
