The Ruins of Us (Stolen Moments #3)

by Catharina Maura

Carter rises from his seat and Sam straightens. I never realized that Carter is half a head taller than Sam, and much wider. “Samuel, isn’t it?” he says. He sounds polite, but his eyes are flashing dangerously.

I’m filled with so many emotions that I can’t even make sense of as I follow Carter, my eyes on his back. I’m filled with disappointment, anxiety and dread, when I should be excited to finally spend some time with Sam.

I turn and slip away from him, but I’ve only taken one step when he’s got his arm wrapped around my waist. Carter pulls me back and against the wall. I gasp, my eyes widening. “You’re drunk,” I whisper. I raise my hands to his chest, intending to keep some distance between us, but he grabs my wrists and pushes them against the wall, above my head. Carter pushes his body against mine, caging me in.

“Fucking hell… I know you’re his. I know it. But I can’t fucking stand it.”

He grabs my waist, and before I know it, he’s got me lifted up against the wall. I instinctively wrap my legs around him, and he pushes against me.

He’s been so in control since I got here. Tonight is the first night that he’s truly showing me just how intensely he still cares. It’s not like the few slipped words here and there. No, this is different. It’s raw, it’s real… it’s Carter.

He bites down on my shoulder before pressing a kiss to it. “I want to take you away from him. I want to rip you two apart,” he whispers, before pulling away. He lowers me to the floor and looks into my eyes. “But I won’t, Emilia. I won’t, because I fucking love you.” Carter takes a step away from me and looks away. “Run, Emilia,” he whispers. “Run, because if you stay, there won’t be any going back.”

I remember sitting on the floor in the small apartment that Asher and Carter shared. Everything Carter has achieved was merely a concept back then. It’s astounding how much he has accomplished in just under a decade. I wish I’d been there every step of the way.

“Come to think of it, you probably started this research around the same time that Emilia’s father received his diagnosis.” I look at Carter with wide eyes. “You did this for dad?” Carter bites down on his lip and shakes his head. “Not quite. Him falling ill is what gave me the idea. I just figured that there must be a way to help people like him, so I funded the team that was closest to reaching a break-through.”

I let you get away with the Crazy Frog song, but you only get one freebie.” I grin at her. I love seeing her eyes flash like this. Lately she’s been looking so stressed out and worried, and I’m glad something as simple as this still makes her smile. I love seeing her laugh.

I breathe a sigh of relief. I don’t want her to let him in on any of our inside jokes. There aren’t many parts of Emilia that are still mine, and I want to hold on to the ones that are with all my might.

That’s how long I lasted before wanting to punch him in the face. Even his fucking voice irritates me. I’m tempted to mimic him, but I resist.

I pause in the theater room and sigh. I designed this room with Emilia in mind. It’s basically a much more luxurious set-up of what I arranged on her sixteenth birthday. It’s crazy to think that that’s over ten years ago now. Here I am, standing in this room, with the man that has everything I’ve ever wanted.

I glance at Sam, the outrage on his face, the stiffness in his every move. I can see why he’d like the version Emilia portrays of herself in his presence, but the real her? He could never handle the real Emilia.

“I see the way you look at him, Emilia. You’ve never looked at me that way before. I see the way you two interact as though you can tell what the other is thinking, and you and I have never had that. It’s obvious that even your dad likes him better, and I can’t even fault him for it. I’m trying my best to help with his treatment, but that’s nothing compared to everything Carter has done for him.”

You were so excited while you were destroying Carter’s property, and he let you. How can you tell me there isn’t anything going on? No sane man would ever let you do something as crazy as that — with a smile on his face. I don’t even recognize the person you are around Carter. You’re so different, and I hate it. Did you think I didn’t notice the inside jokes? The way you won’t even explain whatever the hell being outraged in Spanish even means?”

“You’re distant and you’re acting irrationally. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore. It’s like you came here, and you turned into an entirely different person. You usually hate cooking, but here you make your dad lunch every single day, and you’re usually so serious, yet now you’re suddenly playing pranks. Pranks. You say you can’t sleep with me because you’re too worried about your dad, but you’re not too worried to play a fucking childish joke. It’s ridiculous.”

You’re telling me you hate who I am here, but what does that even mean, because for the first time in years I actually feel like myself.”

“I’m just really confused. I don’t even know who you are anymore. I’m starting to wonder if the girl I fell for was ever even the real you at all.” I’m starting to wonder the same thing. The girl that Sam loves, is that even the real me? Or is it just who I so desperately wanted to be?

It’s not me he’s looking at, though. It’s Layla. He looks up at me just as I let my eyes fall closed and kiss Sam back, properly, for the first time since he got here.

Though I doubt that’ll burn away the image of Emilia kissing Sam. I shouldn’t have provoked her. I shouldn’t have pushed her into his arms.

I saw the shock, the pain, and eventually, the determination. I know what my Minx is like.

You’ve shown me you’ve moved on. So every single thing I just described? Every bit of passion and desire? I gave all of it to Layla, and she fucking loved it. I watched her come for me, the image burning away every thought of you,” I whisper, lying to her.

For a while I thought you did. Until today. Until I saw you rise to your tiptoes to kiss him the way you always used to kiss me. I get it now, Emilia. You’ve moved on. It’s time I do, too.”

I need this. I need the distance this will create. I need her to understand how she’s been making me feel. All this time I’ve been hoping that eventually she’d change her mind about us, but she won’t. I saw the way she kissed Sam tonight, and I get it now. I lost her. She and I might have history, and she might be a little nostalgic when she’s around me, but that isn’t love, and it’s time I realize it. It’s time I take a step back, before I destroy what little of my heart is left.

resignation.

“Then don’t. She has a lot on her mind right now. Her father is sick, Kate. Now is not the time to remind her of the past.” Kate nods, but I worry that she won’t listen to me. “Promise me, Kate.” She nods again. “I promise, Carter,” she whispers, and I breathe a little easier. It’s fucked up that my sister’s promises don’t mean much to me, but it’s nice to hear her say it anyway.

She’s happy with him.” Kate shakes her head. “That’s not possible,”

You'll Need a lot for me nkt to hate u more

“I’m sorry, Carter. I know asking you for forgiveness is too little too late. I know that. But if I can’t say it to her, I’d like to say to you at least. If not for me, Emilia would now be my sister-in-law. We’d all be spending a couple of amazing days together, and she’d be in the kitchen with Mom, cooking up a storm the way she’s always loved doing. Because of me, you lost the love of your life. Because of me, you now have to see her with someone else. Nothing I could ever do will make up for that, but I need you to know how sorry I am.

Bullshit

I’m torn between the obligation I feel to be with him and what my heart wants, what my soul needs.

Whatever happened is in the past. Or do you still care so much about the way things ended between you and Carter that you can’t even spend an afternoon at his old house? Do you really still blame them for standing between you two? Or maybe you’re not over him at all. That would explain why you won’t let me touch you.”

“Kate is going to be there, Minx. I don’t want to see you hurting. I don’t want to see you force a smile onto your face. Don’t do this if you don’t want to.”

Sam pulls me away from Carter with such force that it hurts, and I flinch. “Don’t touch her,” Sam warns. “And her name is Emilia.”

Jerk

By the time we arrive I’m trembling. I feel helpless and hurt, and I don’t want to be here. Carter looks at me with such concern that I force myself to put up a brave front. He looks worried and just as helpless as I feel, and I force myself to smile at him. I want to set him at ease. The last thing I want is for him to worry about me. Carter inhales deeply and walks into the house, and Sam and I follow behind him.

I nod at her, but it’s all too much. Being here, seeing Kate and Helen together. It hurts. It’s all too much. The pain of losing Carter, of losing Kate and Helen, it all comes rushing back. Every memory that has plagued me throughout the years assaults me at once, and I almost burst into tears right then and there.

I notice the way she avoids looking at Mom and Kate. The way she stares at her food as though she’s sorry for even existing. I knew this would happen. I knew just being here would make her feel the way she did back then. Like everything that happened was her fault. Like the love she gave out so freely was destructive. Like her presence is ruining things for everyone.

“What my girlfriend needs right now is me. Who the hell do you think you are to decide for her? Maybe us being here has made you all nostalgic, but you’d better remember that Emilia is mine. You don’t have the right to tell me to stay away.”

“You might be right, Samuel. She’s yours, but I’m still very much hers. And if I see you touch her in a way she doesn’t like, if I see you hold her hand even just a little too tightly ever again, I’m going to break every fucking bone in your hand. If you make her uncomfortable even the slightest or force her to do something she either doesn’t want or isn’t ready for, the way you did today... then I will know, and I will fucking kill you. I’ll make you disappear so quick they’ll call me Houdini. I’ve been playing nice, but don’t forget who I am. I’m Carter fucking Clarke. And you? You’re no one. You’ll just be another statistic.”

Oh damn Carter Clark I love u more by the second

Emilia cries even harder, and my heart shatters. When she cries like this, I can only barely keep my own tears at bay. I don’t think I’ve cried in years, but seeing her like this brings me pretty damn close. I swallow hard and press a kiss to her head.

He turns to look at me, his shoulders stiff and his jaw clenched. He’s radiating rage in a way he never has before. I don’t think we’ve had even one bad argument in the last couple of years. His eyes look cold as he looks up at me, and I shudder involuntarily. Sam inhales deeply and walks up to me, and I tense.

He tightens his grip on my hair and I whimper slightly. My heart is racing, and though I want to protest, I can’t make myself.

Omg he's Kyle... So nice and loving and a neurosurgeon until he's TOTALLY NOT

Sam works his hand deeper into my hair and pulls on it, yanking my head closer to his. His lips come crashing down on mine, and he kisses me harshly, forcibly. I try to protest, but every sound I make is smothered. I bite down on his lip as hard as I can and push him away, breathing hard. “What the hell is going on with you?” I shout, my eyes filling with tears. I inhale shakily and wrap my arms around myself.

It hurts to see who you are with him. I didn’t think you could get even more beautiful, or even more perfect… but you do, for him. Only for him.”

“You and I could have had it all, Emilia. We were perfect together. You can’t see it now, but you’re throwing away your chance at happiness. You’re a fool if you think you can be with Carter. Didn’t you notice Carter’s sister left dinner halfway through because you were there? How long do you think you and he will last with his family standing between you like that? The novelty of being together is going to wear off soon enough, and you’ll be left facing the fucked-up mess that your life together would be. You’ll flee to London all over again, begging me to take you back. And I? I’ll have moved on.”

“Because it’s a memory I could never let go of. Having that cup made, showing you the writing inside it… whenever I see this, those memories come with it, and it never fails to bring a smile to my face.”

You know, like dating and moving in with someone, and maybe even getting married someday. You looked very content with him, but you didn’t look happy.”

I don’t want you to settle, Emilia. You deserve the world.”

You’ve stood by me, and you’ve helped me recover. You’ve funded my education and all of the different courses and programs I wanted to do. You’ve never asked me for anything in return, other than me taking care of myself. You’re the best brother I could have ever wished for, but in return I’ve only ever been a horrible sister.”

That cold mask you wear has finally started to crack, and it’s because Emilia is back. So yes, I’m happy that she’s single again. I might not have spoken to her in years, but even I could see that the way she looked at Sam wasn’t the same way she’s always looked at you, the same way she still does. I’m not who I used to be, Carter. All I want is for you to be happy. I won’t stand in the way of that, not ever again. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right, I just don’t know what the right thing to do is.”

Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be. Some people just aren’t meant to be. I guess Emilia and I are like that. Maybe one day it’ll all make sense, or maybe it won’t. Either way, it is what it is. I’ve learned to be okay with that, and you should too,”